I’ve reached an age where a lot of my friends are starting to get married off. That’s all well and good for them but I have a problem with it. It’s not with them getting married per se it’s more about them telling me about it and expecting me to be all excited for them. News flash....I’m not that girl.
I’m just not someone who dreams about their wedding day, I never have been. Even as a kid I never pretended to get married or even gave it a thought. It’s not that I’m against marriage or anything like that. I just believe that love is between 2 people and why should hundreds of guests be forced to hear about it.
I actually remember being at Sunday school, my teacher at the time was the pastor’s wife and she decided one Sunday to show us their wedding video. I remember sitting there, while all the girls were crying thinking, “why is she torturing all those people.” (Kids think the darndest things, eh?)
I like to think in every circle of friends each friend as a speciality. Love or matter of love was never mine. In the friendship world my speciality is “break-ups”. If you’re crying at 3am because your boyfriend dumped you, I’m the girl to call. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of a bitch but bad mouthing the guy that dumped my friend and pointing out all the guys’ flaws comes naturally to me. However if you want to get back with him....it's not advisable to call me.
Clearly I’m not the girl you call when you decide to get married; I’m the girl you call when you decide to called off your wedding. When my friends tell me they’re getting married it takes everything in me not say “Congratulations, call me when you get divorced.” That’s not me being mean that’s just me embracing who I am.
Everyone always says play to your strengths and I do that. Ok, my strengths are a little meaner than most but in the world of friendships I play a vital role.
I love you guys and as always please stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxo
Wednesday 15 June 2011
Sunday 12 June 2011
Four Kinds of Girl
Over all my years of being friends with and dating far too many guy I’ve come to work out that in their minds women fall into 4 main categories, needy, pushy, stupid or bitch. And they will always whiny about a girl no matter which of these categories she falls into. Unless you’re in the process of making him cum, a guy will always find something to bitch about. You can never win; you can just shut him up for extended periods of time.
If you enjoy spending time with your boyfriend, sending texts or talking on the phone with him you fall into the “needy” category. You may be the most impendent person on the planet but when he is out with the guys and you text him even if he messages you first you’re needy. This is where things being so black and white in man-land gets them into trouble, Everyone knows there are different levels of neediness but you’d never know that listening to them talk.
If you have ever asked a guy out, approached a guy or told him to stop playing games you fall into the “pushy” category. In my personal experience sometimes you need to be pushy when it comes to guys but no man will ever see it that way. The only good pushy in the male mind is if you’re pushy in the bedroom. It messes with their male ego otherwise.
Now for the “stupid” category, these are the girl's guys date once with the intention of sleeping with them and never calling again. In my books it’s only stupid if you fall for their bullshit. But once again they’d never admit that in man-land.
The last category is bitch. There are 2 main ways to end up in this category. The first way is be opinionated and have your own views on things. I’ll never understand why women like that rub so many men up the wrong way but a lot of men hate it. The other way is to play the game they do. Show no interest, use them just for sex, and make them come to you. Keep that up for any period of time and they’ll soon be calling you a bitch.
Personally I don’t see anything wrong with being a bitch so they call me one all they like. I have a mind of my own and opinions and I don’t follow men around like a lost puppy so if that makes me a bitch, I’ll own it. Hello world I’m bitch, deal with it!
You’ll never please everyone so don’t every change who you are, especially to please a man. Just be who you are and own it. Sooner or later someone will come along who will take you for what you are. Don’t ever lose any sleep over him either because I’m willing to bet he isn’t losing any over you. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
As always my dears stay safe and don’t stress over things you can’t change.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
If you enjoy spending time with your boyfriend, sending texts or talking on the phone with him you fall into the “needy” category. You may be the most impendent person on the planet but when he is out with the guys and you text him even if he messages you first you’re needy. This is where things being so black and white in man-land gets them into trouble, Everyone knows there are different levels of neediness but you’d never know that listening to them talk.
If you have ever asked a guy out, approached a guy or told him to stop playing games you fall into the “pushy” category. In my personal experience sometimes you need to be pushy when it comes to guys but no man will ever see it that way. The only good pushy in the male mind is if you’re pushy in the bedroom. It messes with their male ego otherwise.
Now for the “stupid” category, these are the girl's guys date once with the intention of sleeping with them and never calling again. In my books it’s only stupid if you fall for their bullshit. But once again they’d never admit that in man-land.
The last category is bitch. There are 2 main ways to end up in this category. The first way is be opinionated and have your own views on things. I’ll never understand why women like that rub so many men up the wrong way but a lot of men hate it. The other way is to play the game they do. Show no interest, use them just for sex, and make them come to you. Keep that up for any period of time and they’ll soon be calling you a bitch.
Personally I don’t see anything wrong with being a bitch so they call me one all they like. I have a mind of my own and opinions and I don’t follow men around like a lost puppy so if that makes me a bitch, I’ll own it. Hello world I’m bitch, deal with it!
You’ll never please everyone so don’t every change who you are, especially to please a man. Just be who you are and own it. Sooner or later someone will come along who will take you for what you are. Don’t ever lose any sleep over him either because I’m willing to bet he isn’t losing any over you. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
As always my dears stay safe and don’t stress over things you can’t change.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
Thursday 9 June 2011
Natural Comfort
I was cuddled up in my bed last night thinking about people who we’re naturally comfortable with. The sort of person you never feel awkward around and where everything just feels like second nature and comes so easily.
A lot of the time (at least for me) being comfortable around someone isn’t effortless. It’s very much a learnt behaviour. It takes me a while to warm up to a person and even more time for me to feel comfortable with them touching me. I’m not a touchy feely person by nature. I’ve had to learn to be ok friends touching and cuddling me it certainly, at least at first, didn’t come as second nature to me.
I can only think of two people that I’m truly naturally comfortable with. That’s not to say there has never been any awkward moments between us but on the whole I’m totally comfortable around them.
Chicken man is one of the two. Minus when he first gave me his number there has never been an awkward moment between us. First kiss, first time we slept together it was all so natural. I never even had that “what the hell is he doing moment”. It was just right and second nature
The other one will remain nameless and minus our one and only date I always feel comfortable around him. It’s kind of strange because I’ve only actually met him in person a half a dozen times. But for whatever reason I’m totally comfortable around him. Plus he never fails to make me smile, which helps the comfort level.
It’s nice to have people like that in your life, where you don’t have to work at things. It just comes natural; it’s just so much better and feels almost right.
Anyways my lovelies, I’m heading to bed. Stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
A lot of the time (at least for me) being comfortable around someone isn’t effortless. It’s very much a learnt behaviour. It takes me a while to warm up to a person and even more time for me to feel comfortable with them touching me. I’m not a touchy feely person by nature. I’ve had to learn to be ok friends touching and cuddling me it certainly, at least at first, didn’t come as second nature to me.
I can only think of two people that I’m truly naturally comfortable with. That’s not to say there has never been any awkward moments between us but on the whole I’m totally comfortable around them.
Chicken man is one of the two. Minus when he first gave me his number there has never been an awkward moment between us. First kiss, first time we slept together it was all so natural. I never even had that “what the hell is he doing moment”. It was just right and second nature
The other one will remain nameless and minus our one and only date I always feel comfortable around him. It’s kind of strange because I’ve only actually met him in person a half a dozen times. But for whatever reason I’m totally comfortable around him. Plus he never fails to make me smile, which helps the comfort level.
It’s nice to have people like that in your life, where you don’t have to work at things. It just comes natural; it’s just so much better and feels almost right.
Anyways my lovelies, I’m heading to bed. Stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo
Sunday 5 June 2011
Keep Off
This may sound weird coming from someone who blogs about every detail of her life but I’m going to say it anyways......... Keep your shit off Facebook!
There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t write your personal business on Facebook, I can’t even think of a good reason to do it, so stop!
First of all you’re making things worse. The second you post your problem with someone else on Facebook you’ve gone from it being between you and the person, to it being the business of everyone on your friends list. It may as well have been on the evening news; it’s in their news feed after all.
So now you have people, possibly perfect strangers add fuel to the flame. Everyone has their 2 cents on the matter. Everyone has advice to give and opinions. And don’t forget the other person is reading this, watching you spread gossip and bad mouthing them so instead of calming down they’re getting angrier.
Because they’re getting angrier they post a status too, so now you have their friends getting involved. Your joint friends end up taking sides. This upsets you both more. Sooner or later you start commenting on each other’s statuses. And the whole thing goes from something small to the worlds ending.
Not sounding like such a good idea now is it?
Might I add just because some of your friends aren’t commenting doesn’t mean they’re not reading what’s going on. And I’m willing to bet most of them are probably thinking you sound like a whiny small child.
Then you have the problem when you two make up that you’re left looking like an idiot to everyone on Facebook. You can’t get around that fact, once it’s all said and done, you’re left with 100’s of Facebook friends who read what was happening, and now think you’re an idiot.
So if you don’t want to be labelled a whiney idiot think before you write a status and take my advice is to keep your shit off Facebook.
I love you guys, and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t write your personal business on Facebook, I can’t even think of a good reason to do it, so stop!
First of all you’re making things worse. The second you post your problem with someone else on Facebook you’ve gone from it being between you and the person, to it being the business of everyone on your friends list. It may as well have been on the evening news; it’s in their news feed after all.
So now you have people, possibly perfect strangers add fuel to the flame. Everyone has their 2 cents on the matter. Everyone has advice to give and opinions. And don’t forget the other person is reading this, watching you spread gossip and bad mouthing them so instead of calming down they’re getting angrier.
Because they’re getting angrier they post a status too, so now you have their friends getting involved. Your joint friends end up taking sides. This upsets you both more. Sooner or later you start commenting on each other’s statuses. And the whole thing goes from something small to the worlds ending.
Not sounding like such a good idea now is it?
Might I add just because some of your friends aren’t commenting doesn’t mean they’re not reading what’s going on. And I’m willing to bet most of them are probably thinking you sound like a whiny small child.
Then you have the problem when you two make up that you’re left looking like an idiot to everyone on Facebook. You can’t get around that fact, once it’s all said and done, you’re left with 100’s of Facebook friends who read what was happening, and now think you’re an idiot.
So if you don’t want to be labelled a whiney idiot think before you write a status and take my advice is to keep your shit off Facebook.
I love you guys, and as always stay safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Whack-A-Mole
The past month I’ve felt like I’m playing a massive game of “whack-a-mole”. Every time I turn around I’m bumping to another guy I refused to sleep a million years ago. It’s like they all got together and decided they would all pop up at me over the course of 4 weeks.
Just so you don’t think I’m being over dramatic, I swear to god this is an honest list of guys that have contracted me in the past month. Paul, Jason, Sukhi, Shane, Daniel B, Danny, Peter, Daren, Daniel S, Andy, Clint, Mr. X and the unknown texter (whom I thought I had blocked on my phone).
Out of that whole list of ghosts of men past I am only happy about one of them getting in contract with me. He’s the only one on that list that can make me laugh and always makes me smile when his name pops up. I’ll let you guys work who I’m talking about.
As for the rest of them, why the hell do they popup from nowhere? I’ve just proven that the odds are against anyone being happy to see them. What’s their motivation? It really does feel like a game of Whack-a-Mole, they popup, I hit them with bitchiness then they crawl back into the hole came out of. And with a bit of luck most of them well stay there this time.
I’m a lovely person but there is only so many “men moles” a woman can take before she has to throw all niceties out the window.
Anyways my dears I off for the night, so always stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Just so you don’t think I’m being over dramatic, I swear to god this is an honest list of guys that have contracted me in the past month. Paul, Jason, Sukhi, Shane, Daniel B, Danny, Peter, Daren, Daniel S, Andy, Clint, Mr. X and the unknown texter (whom I thought I had blocked on my phone).
Out of that whole list of ghosts of men past I am only happy about one of them getting in contract with me. He’s the only one on that list that can make me laugh and always makes me smile when his name pops up. I’ll let you guys work who I’m talking about.
As for the rest of them, why the hell do they popup from nowhere? I’ve just proven that the odds are against anyone being happy to see them. What’s their motivation? It really does feel like a game of Whack-a-Mole, they popup, I hit them with bitchiness then they crawl back into the hole came out of. And with a bit of luck most of them well stay there this time.
I’m a lovely person but there is only so many “men moles” a woman can take before she has to throw all niceties out the window.
Anyways my dears I off for the night, so always stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Sunday 29 May 2011
Girls Night Out
On the last Saturday of every month me and a few girlfriends and our gay side kick get together and drink way too much. A lot of the time we just stay in and watch a film, screw around online and bitch. But this month we decided to go to bingo.
I had free tickets because of my birthday so we decided to go and try and get rich and drink cheap booze. I swear the booze is so cheap so you can’t play your cards right.
When we got there the guy that took our cards recognised me. It wasn’t till I looked at his name badge I worked out who he was. His name was Ross he’s someone I went to college with. He was a second year when I was a first.
The second we found a table the talk turned to whether or not I slept with him. I don’t think I did, I’m actually sure I didn’t. Some of them remember him flirting with me at college and bumping into him at town a few times but minus a little texting nothing happened.
He was actually calling the books and I blame him for us not winning. He came up and chatted to me for a while. Turns out he has a kid and asked if I had a family yet. My brain wasn’t a fan of that question. I just turned 24. Call me old fashion but I want a ring on my finger before I even think about having kids. Hell I want the ring before I think about having pets with anyone.
You can say a lot of things about me but I have my head on straight, unlike some of the people I know.
Anyways my dears I have things I need to do. As always stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
I had free tickets because of my birthday so we decided to go and try and get rich and drink cheap booze. I swear the booze is so cheap so you can’t play your cards right.
When we got there the guy that took our cards recognised me. It wasn’t till I looked at his name badge I worked out who he was. His name was Ross he’s someone I went to college with. He was a second year when I was a first.
The second we found a table the talk turned to whether or not I slept with him. I don’t think I did, I’m actually sure I didn’t. Some of them remember him flirting with me at college and bumping into him at town a few times but minus a little texting nothing happened.
He was actually calling the books and I blame him for us not winning. He came up and chatted to me for a while. Turns out he has a kid and asked if I had a family yet. My brain wasn’t a fan of that question. I just turned 24. Call me old fashion but I want a ring on my finger before I even think about having kids. Hell I want the ring before I think about having pets with anyone.
You can say a lot of things about me but I have my head on straight, unlike some of the people I know.
Anyways my dears I have things I need to do. As always stay safe.
Love
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo
Thursday 26 May 2011
Moonlighters
A moonlighter is someone who only sends messages in moonlight, for whatever reason they only send and reply to messages under the cover of darkness. Moonlighters are not to be confused with “lights out texters” who are generally motivated by their nether regions. Moonlighters aren’t always nether regions driven.
Moonlighters messages can be about anything and yes sometimes they can turn a little spicy but the difference between a moonlighter and a lights out texter is a lights out texter will message whenever horny comes a knocking and a moonlighter will only message when it’s dark out.
It kind of begs the questions why only in the moonlight? There are different theories out there. Some are quite basic like they’re in a relationship or they’re married. Some have suggested they’re murders or crooks. I’ve even hear stories about these people being under a witch’s cure. However my favourite theory is it’s a werewolf type syndrome and the moonlight sends their thumbs into over drive.
I don’t really trust moonlighters, there is just something creepy about them. They popup out of nowhere, send you messages while your asleep and then when you reply in the morning, they’re gone. They’re like living ghosts who leave a text message footprint.
I remember stories from my childhood about things that go bump in the night and they rarely turned out to be friendly; the only difference is instead of going bump moonlighters go beep.
Be careful guys, and stay safe.
The Honest Bitch
Moonlighters messages can be about anything and yes sometimes they can turn a little spicy but the difference between a moonlighter and a lights out texter is a lights out texter will message whenever horny comes a knocking and a moonlighter will only message when it’s dark out.
It kind of begs the questions why only in the moonlight? There are different theories out there. Some are quite basic like they’re in a relationship or they’re married. Some have suggested they’re murders or crooks. I’ve even hear stories about these people being under a witch’s cure. However my favourite theory is it’s a werewolf type syndrome and the moonlight sends their thumbs into over drive.
I don’t really trust moonlighters, there is just something creepy about them. They popup out of nowhere, send you messages while your asleep and then when you reply in the morning, they’re gone. They’re like living ghosts who leave a text message footprint.
I remember stories from my childhood about things that go bump in the night and they rarely turned out to be friendly; the only difference is instead of going bump moonlighters go beep.
Be careful guys, and stay safe.
The Honest Bitch
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