A Surprisingly Nice Birthday

Despite my fears that my birthday was going to follow its normal trend and be horrible; it was actually very nice.

Because of a coworker's sudden “sickness” I ended up spending the first 6 or so hours of my birthday at work which oddly enough wasn’t so bad. The drivers were quick to stop moaning when they found out (which, if you’ve ever worked with truck drivers you’ll know is a miracle in its self”. Most wished me a happy birthday and gave me a hug…. Admittedly, there were a few wondering hands, but who can blame them.

My supervisor was a sweetheart and got some non-alcoholic beers in so the shunter and the two of us had a drink to celebrate the start of my birthday. He also got me some Turkish delight and shortbreads which I may or may not be eating now for breakfast right now at 9pm. I give credit where credit is due and the man was a total sweetheart and actually made working on my birthday almost pleasurable.

I got home from about quarter past 7 had a mojito and snuggled up in bed to watch a little TV. About a half hour later I heard my phone go off and when I had a look it was a message from Barney saying “Happy birthday princess, hope you have a wonderful day x” I was more than a little shocked, I’ve made it more than a little clear to you all I really wasn’t expecting to hear from him at all. We had a little chat and then I went to bed.

I woke up about noon to message from Barney asking if I wanted to meet up for a drink later in the day, which nearly gave me a heart attack. Didn’t see that one coming, but of course I agreed. So at about 5pm I went to meet him at the pub for a few hours. It was lovely to get to see him. It was a much needed reminder of why I put up with everything I do.

After seeing Barney I came home and had a few drinks, dinner and of course I enjoyed my birthday cake. Then the gay husband came around and we got ready to go out for a few drinks with some friends.

The night out was entertaining, we drank, we danced, we gossiped and I had to explain the bruise on my boob to a room full men and dirty minded women, that weren’t believing the truth about how I actually got a bruise so I had a lot fun making up stories. If you want to know a giant penis did it from the inside out.

I got home about 4am, very drunk, had another drink, crawled into bed and slept until 19:00 today…. Impressive I know. However, thanks to my sleeping binge, I managed to wake up without any sign of a hangover so as birthday presents go that might be the best one I received.

Anyways, I’m back at work tomorrow, so I need to make myself look human and get some more sleep. So I guess I should leave you with a question, what was your favorite birthday surprise? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Birthday Weirdos

I’m going through one of those phases where everything that is hitting me on me…..shouldn’t be. It’s gotten
to the point where I’m starting to wonder if it’s not them, it’s me. Am I giving off some form of loser homing signal I’m not aware of?

Forgetting the strange Mr X incident, in the past week I’ve been hit on by not one, but two married truck drivers, a guy I used to flirt with many moons ago, an ex and today joining the pack of weirdos CM has made a reappearance.

What the fuck?

It’s always flattering to get hit on but when the quality of guy is as low as it has been you start to wonder if it’s more of an insult than a compliment.

CM’s reappearance was unexpected if you remember that far back, CM was in a 3 year relationship with someone else when we had our fling. Then I decided he had too many deal breakers and had to break things off. He informed me today, he has finally broken up with his girlfriend. That’s all well and good for him, but it doesn’t change anything, yes, he has one less deal breaker now but he still has far too many to overlook.

Plus, I’m spoken for… sort of. There are no titles with Barney and I yet so theoretically I’m single but I’m not about to play that game. Although I wish he'd realize I’m a woman in high demand (even if it’s by weirdos) and make a make a little more time for me.

The guy is trying and I see that and I appreciate it but its slow going and I turn 27 today; I’m not getting any younger. I’m not about to cry that my biological clock is ticking but I do want to settle down one day and I don’t want to look back and regret wasting my time on someone who couldn’t even spare a minute of his weekend to send me one lousy text message.

That’s my life right now, getting old and being unloved, or at least being unloved by anyone worth being loved by….. I hate my birthdays. They always seem to be the most depressing day of the year. Maybe because I’m always single for my birthday and I’m so far away from home, I just can’t help but feel alone or maybe it’s because getting old just sucks I don’t know. Maybe that’s the question of the blog; do you like your birthday? Why or why not? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Facebook Post

After two days of not hearing from the man I’m meant to be in some form of a relationship with I posted this image to my Facebook wall as a gentle hint. On day 3 while I was at work I spotted a Facebook notification on my phone. When I looked at it, I couldn’t control my mouth from yelling “You cock” a little stunned, my supervisor asked what was up. I explained that I hadn’t heard from Barney in 3 days and the fucker just liked my post. No call, no email, no text just liked the fucking post. Needless to say I wasn’t in the slightest bit impressed. My supervisor on the other hand couldn’t stop laughing and repeatedly called him “fucking legendary”. My supervisor is an idiot.

I didn’t hear from Barney all day 4, day 5 I messaged him saying good morning, asking how his weekend was, being a Monday he messaged me back. It didn’t take him long to ask about the post. Apparently he felt it was a cheap shot because he feels guilty enough that he doesn’t have the time to message me or hang out as much as he’d like.

Forgetting the fact he clearly had the time to be on Facebook and like the post which doesn’t take any longer then typing and sending “good night”, how am I am the bad guy in this? It’s not like the good night thing is news to him, we’ve had this conversation… a lot. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise at this point. 

We managed to talk it out and he understands where I was coming from but the whole thing has left a bit of a nasty taste in my mouth. But I will leave the question with you, was I in the wrong? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Unavailable Men

So it’s been nearly 2 months since I last posted and the good night text message battle rages on. Lucky for him I’m pretty laid back because I’m pretty sure any other woman at this point would have kicked his ass. Hell, if this was any other guy I’m pretty sure I would have kicked his ass by now. But for whatever reason he seems to have a weird effect on me.

I may not be winning the good night battle, but we are talking a lot more throughout the day so it's making the good night battle seem less important, but he still isn’t messaging at all during the weekends and that's grating on me a little. It’s my birthday Saturday and I’m willing to bet I don’t hear from him at all. But if I want to see what’s there I guess that’s something I’m just going to have to deal with.

In other news Mr. X messaged me yesterday….yeah, I didn’t see that coming. It appears he’s been reading my blog and a few questions and a statement for me. His opener was “surely I don’t have a hold over you now?” Nothing like a simple opener eh? He followed that gem up with “I do regret that we never saw things through, you know? I wasn't fair on you with that and I apologise”. I hate to admit this but I shed a tear when I read that. Don’t get wrong, I’ve gotten over all this and have moved on but looking back at it all….it still hurts.

Mr. X and I have a strange relationship, there is a reason things went on as long as they did, we have spark and not just sexually.  We’re able to be very straight spoken and honest with each other even now so when he says “if I was ever alone with you again, I'd jump you” it’s not in itself shocking but its definitely unexpected coming from a now married man.  

Speaking of married men that evening I also got a message from one of my old drivers asking me out…..small problem he’s married. Larger problem for him I’m not interested.

I already have my own unavailable guy (admittedly at least these ones text, but still) and if I wanted one that wasn’t single well, I’d finish what I started with my supervisor…..who I may or may not have made cum on our boss’s desk, but that’s a blog for another day and also pre-Barney so no angry emails please.

I guess that brings me to the question of the blog; what makes married men hit on single ladies? And when was the last time one hit on you? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Limited Time and Weekends

The new guy I am dating (Barney) works away Monday –Friday and then come the weekend he has his son, so as you can imagine that doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to see each other, especially  when you figure in me working 4 on 4 off meaning for about 4 weeks I don’t have a weekend at all.  You would think this would bother me, but it doesn’t.  

The only thing that bothers me is the lack of commutation on the weekends. We can go all weekend without even a single text and as much as I hate to admit it, that saddens me.  If I do say so myself, I’m a fairly low maintenance girlfriend, I don’t need a lot in a relationship to be happy, but I do like the odd text message and I particularly like a good night message.

For me a good night message is special; when I’m snuggled up in bed I tend to miss my partner more and getting that message that that person is thinking about me too is special and always puts me to sleep with a smile on my face.

I’m actually sitting here looking forward to going back to work tomorrow; just so my mind is preoccupied. This is weird for me, I actually find myself missing him throughout the day (not just when I’m lying in bed with nothing better to do) and I find myself smiling like an idiot when we get off the phone or he sends a sweet message. This is all….not me and weird. It’s freaking me out a little if I’m honest.

I suppose I should leave you wonderful people with a question, so I have to ask; what is important to you in a relationship when you don’t get to see each other very often? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Talking Dirty and Hang Ups

I don't normally do this but lets start with the question of the blog; what are your thoughts on talking dirty? Turn off, turn on, can you do it sober or do you need a drink? I'm dying to hear your thoughts on this.

It's a well known fact I can't talk dirty sober, for whatever reason it makes me giggle uncomfortably. It's just not something I am able to do. And I'm probably not much better drunk in all honesty, but when everyone involved is drunk who's to say?

I bring this up because I had another date with Barney last night and it turns out he is very much a dirty talker and well it's not really having the desired effect on me. And to add things he's very keen for me to join in and well..... That's not happening.

Let me preface this by saying I really like this guy and outside of the land of sex everything feels natural and easy. It's just in the bedroom things feel.... forced.

Part of it is my own hang ups and I know it, thanks to the epic shit show that was Mr. X  I'm more cautious and guarded and painfully adware things may not be what they appear. And as you can imagine, that uncertainty doesn't really pair well with great sex.

However, as I was writing that, it hit me just how much I must like this guy. I mean I've had sex since Mr. X, I've had good sex since Mr. X and none of this has been a problem. It's fear of everything feeling right and then on the turn of a dime everything changing, to find out it was nothing more than a physical thing from the beginning. It's that dishonesty I'm scared of. 

That could very well be why when he's saying "I want you to ride my cock" I'm thinking is that all you want? What if I don't? Are you going to leave? Are you going to vanish for months? And instead of feeling turned on by his dirty talk all I'm feeling is pressured. Which is weird because I want to sleep with him, it's not like I'm being pressured into having sex with him, but yet I feel pressured....and yes I'm aware I sound like a crazy person right now. 

I think this crazy person needs to go to bed before she over thinks things and ruins what hopefully could be a meaningful relationship with a great guy.....even if the sex isn't quite there yet. I mean sex isn't everything, right? And thankfully it is improving it's just a process..... hopefully not a long one. Anyways as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxxo

Barney

As promised in my last blog, here are all the Barney details.

Barney is a 36 year old, truck driver who I met at work. Facebook kind of had a helping hand in it too. When I started at my new job his named popped up saying I might know him because we had 8 friends in common. When I looked I noticed they were all drivers from my last job so the next time Barney came into work I asked him about and I found out he use to work there, so that instantly got us talking.

I wasn't interested in dating him off the bat, he has a lot deal breakers working against him. He has kids, and we all know I don't date men who have proven their sperm works. He's been nearly married at least 4 times, although I joke with him that that number is in 100's. He smokes.... He just isn't someone I date.

Plus, we were working together and I can't date someone I work with. There's no rule about it, but working in the field I do, I can't afford to get a reputation. As I've witnessed guys talk more than girls do and working with 60 guys a night, it won't take 30 seconds for that gossip to spread.

But after Barney left I didn't see the harm in agreeing to go to dinner with him. He might not be someone I date, but we always had a laugh working together so I figured why not.

We went out a few weeks ago and I have to admit I had a blast. It was probably the best first date I've had. There was no awkwardness, everything was so easy and I don't think we stopped laughing all night. He was a perfect gentleman too. Well....almost.

Things did get a little heated during our good night kiss but due to circumstance out of our control we didn't take things to the bedroom. But I'll tell you something, it's been 3 weeks since our date and I'm still thinking about that first kiss.

So that's it for now I have some stuff I have to get on with. That brings me to the question of the blog, what was your best first date? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

A Quick Catch Up

I know, I know I've been a horrible blogger, I just haven’t managed to find the right balance of writing, social life and work since I started my new job but I promise I’m working on it.

Anyway, I guess I should fill you in on the current man situation. The CM thing is over, I just couldn't get over him smoking pot. Believe it or not I do have a moral compass and that just never sat right with me. 

I'm still flirting with the supervisor, I haven't done anything with him as of yet but I'm working on it.

Then we have Kumquat one of my old drivers who I had a date with New Years Eve day and then went crazy on me not once but twice. Which is impressive seeing as I only slept with him once. Also, I feel the need to add the man is hung... Like ouch that hurts hung. He was probably my favorite driver, hence giving him a second chance, plus he's he can make me laugh like no one else but he murder any hope he had with the second freak out.

This brings me to the newest guy in the mix who for blogging sake, I'm going to call Barney. He used to work at the new place, but recently left for a new job. It also turns out he use to work at my old job before I did. Which is a little dangerous since we know a lot of the same people. We went out Saturday night and had a good time, so despite him having some deal breakers working against him I do plan on seeing him again.

I will go into more Barney details later, but right now I need to get some sleep before work. I just wanted to say hi and fill you guys in a little bit.

So, since there isn't really a question in this blog, tell me how you guys have been? As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Oops I Did It Again

I’m not quite sure how it happened but I seem to be the other woman in not one but two relationships right now.

You all know about CM, and we’ve becoming fairly serious however I’m not about to forget the fact that at the end of the day he’s crawling into bed with someone else. It’s not in my personality to sit around waiting while he’s off having his cake and eating it too. No matter how I feel about the guy.

Saying that I haven’t been out looking for anyone however if the opportunity presents itself I’m not going to turn it down for CM’s sake.

Which brings me to the second and oddly enough more complicated guy. The second guy is not only not single he’s.....my supervisor.

Let me clarify a few things he isn’t my direct supervisor, I’ve never actually worked with him, he does days, I do nights....he’s not a good thing but it’s a little better.... I think. The second thing is his relationship is a dead relationship, he’s pretty much only there because of his kids (and no I’m not taking his word on that, I’ve heard it from other sources too. And PS I know kids are a deal breaker but I’m not about to date the guy so who cares.)

I don’t even know how I got in this situation with the supervisor. One day I was flirting with him like the other 60 guys I work with and then it got Facebook flirty and then there was a cock picture on my phone. I’m not really sure what happened....but I’m not complaining.

He’s not a bad looking guy  and something about him screams great fuck plus I happen to have sleep with a supervisor on my bucket list..... A fact I was only reminded of after I received the cock pic but a nice bonus nonetheless.  Plus if I’m honest and I kind of have to be, after the way things went with my last job, having someone with power in my corner (no matter how he got there) is appealing and kind of comforting.

Saying that I actually feel a lot more secure in this job, thanks to a de-briefer at my old job....I’m a little wiser.

So that brings me to the question of the blog, what is on your sexual bucket list? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Alleviating Guilt

Today was an interesting day; I finally found some resolve on my feelings for CM. Up till now I’ve been kind of wishy washy on the issue. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve liked the guy and there’s been something there but it hasn’t been enough to alleviate my guilt.

Every time I’ve been with him I’ve been kind of uncomfortable and super aware that he isn’t......mine for lack of a better word. And because of that I’ve made a conscious effort to keep my feelings fairly neutral. Which in hindsight is probably why my guilt wasn’t alleviated.

Today was different, I went to see CM on his lunch break, and after talking for a while he kissed me and for the first time there was no moral dilemma in my head, it just felt right, that spark was there and it out weighed everything else.

It’s been an awesome feeling all day being able to answer those “feelings” questions within myself. However they bring their own set of problems...that at least for today, I’m not willing to think about.

I kind of want to live in LaLa land today and just focus on the positives, him being a total sweetheart, really funny and the way he makes me feel. I’ll deal with the other stuff....later.

Anyways my dears, I have to go and swear at the Leafs until they put some damn pucks on net. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Weekend Animosity

I’ve recently developed a strong dislike for the weekends and it’s all CM’s fault. He works Monday to Friday, so during that time we’re pretty much free to communicate as we like. Yes, he has work to do but we still text all day and normally even manage a Skype call or two.

Then the weekend rolls around and everything changes. I get next to no text messages during the day; I generally get a message from him about 4 or 5 asking how my day is going. I’ll send a reply back and won’t hear anything for an hour or two. The messages are typically slow going and tend to be short and abrupt. Which I find unappealing to say the least.

Please don’t get me wrong I understand why it’s that way, he has “real life” to deal with and by that I mean his “blah-blah-blah” (yeah, that’s the technical term for it now) but I don’t have to like it.

During a conversation the other day I commented to CM that he can look forward to finishing work all he wants but I happen to like it better when he’s there. He of course asked why and I explained that when he’s not there he’s a bit of an ass (that’s harsh wording on my part, he’s not an ass but that’s the word I used.)  And he sent me this message explaining why.

“You have to remember I usually have someone sitting directly next to me when I’m at home. I know the messages seem short and I really don’t want them to be but it seems like that’s the way they come across x x x x x”

Call me a bitch (because that’s my name) but that’s not the mental image I want of the person I’m having a pseudo affair with. I want to picture them on opposite sides of the room screaming, about to kill each other.....And yes I am aware that makes me a horrible person.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no disillusions, he’s not going to leave his.....blah-blah-blah and I wouldn’t expect him to. I don’t foresee this ending “happily ever after” but I would like to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

That brings me to the question of the blog; is it really that bad to just enjoy the ride while it lasts? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below. And as always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

CM First Kiss

The same day I posted my last blog, CM made his move and kissed me and I’m sure you’re dying to know how it was but sadly I can’t tell you. Why you ask? Because the whole time he was kissing me why brain was too busy informing me there was another girl’s boyfriend on my lips.

I swear the little voice in my head was going “knock, knock......sorry to bother you miss but I wasn’t sure if you were aware that the man current attached to your lips should be attached to someone else’s”.......and yes I am aware that sentence makes me crazy but that’s nothing new.

I was super nervous about the kiss; CM and I spend an impressive amount of time talking during the week and I was worried that it might change things. It turns out he was nervous too but for a different reason, he was worried it wouldn’t go well and he’d get “friend zoned”.

I can honestly say his “friend zone” fear is unfounded, I would not have sent him to the friend zone over a kiss.....well I lie but it would have had to be god awful for that to happen. The funny part is he thinks my fear is unfounded too because and I quote “that just wouldn’t happen”.

As for the kiss from CM’s point of view he seems to have enjoyed it, he’s eager to get his lips on me again, which can only be a positive thing, and apparently I have very soft lips which is only a borderline creepy thing to say. With a bit of luck the next time we kiss my brain will be more on my side and I can have my own borderline creepy thing to say or at the very least I’ll be able to tell you if it was any good or not.

So I guess that brings me to the question of the blog, have you ever been in a romantic situation and your brain refused to co-operate? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Crossing The Line

It’s no secret that when it comes to dating and relationship I’ve been known to make some.....questionable decisions. However despite many years of ill-fated decisions there are a few lines I’ve never crossed.

I’ve never dated a friend’s ex, I’ve never made a pass at married man and I’ve never gotten involved with someone who is already in a relationship.

There’s actually a running joke among my friends about the latter, because despite me being.....me. It’s my friend Courtney (a relationship good two-shoes) who is the homewrecker. In her defence she is now happily married to the man but it doesn’t change the fact she had to break up a home to get him.

For whatever reason this has always been a line I’ve not been willing to cross; in my head once a man is living with a woman he is as good as married and becomes an untouchable.

With that said over resent months I’ve found myself flirting dangerously close to this line and fear it’s only a matter of time before I completely cross it.....if I haven’t already.

And if that sounds ominous, it kind of is. Let me just say I’ve purposely not made any moves and have taken the back seat in all this because somehow in my head it makes it a little less bad.....but in all fairness...it doesn’t.

It all started with some harmless messages, then some harmless flirting, at which point he told me he liked me and I made my position clear. Then he gave me a cuddle and as ridiculous as it may sound, my will to resist him severely depleted.

You’ve heard of pussy whipped, it’s quite possible I’m cuddle whipped. What I can I say the man give the best hugs on the planet, when his arms are around me it feels like a meteor could fall from the sky and I’d be safe. (That might be the lamest thing I’ve ever said.)  

After the cuddles weakened my defense we started flirting more and more; once again with him taking the lead because someone that makes it better. Then one night some flirty messages turned a little (ok a lot) risqué and a line might have been crossed. (Yeah, I know I’m a bad person.)

Saying that in theory we’ve done nothing wrong, reality might be a different matter but in theory we’re golden. The most we’ve done in person is cuddle and that’s not a crime, it’s socially acceptable for two friends to cuddle. So by all rights I shouldn’t feel guilty............Right?

But I do, I really do, especially because I know damn well the next time I see him that “in theory” is going out the window because he’s going try to kiss me and I’m going to let him. I shouldn’t, I know shouldn’t but I going to. I know all of this is a horrible idea but what if it isn’t?

Let me know what you guys think in the comment box below and as always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Be Canadian

The world tends to see Canadians has polite timid little creatures that wouldn’t do or say any that runs the risk of upsetting anyone. While this stereotype may be based in some reality, for the most part we aren’t the reserved push-over’s a lot of the world seems to think we are.

The problem being a Canadian living outside Canada is people love a stereotype when they meet us the focus is on all those “Canadian characteristics” which is all well and good until people take your “Canadian characteristics” as a sign of weakness or you don’t get the respect you deserve because you’re “too nice”.

To combat this over the years I’ve developed a few techniques; there is a tone in my voice I used to make it clear I know what I am talking about; it can come off condescending, it’s not the intent but it works. My other technique is to externalize some of feelings we’re taught as children to keep inside. In other words instead of putting a happy face on and not making scene, I wear the face I’m feeling. I can’t tell you how long it’s taken for me not to feel like a horrible individual for showing my negative emotions.

The problem I have now is sometimes these techniques take over and I forget to be me. I forget that it’s ok to be reserved and it’s ok to be friendly and caring, that these qualities aren’t a sign of weakness but rather a sign of humanity.

And since I struggle to remember this from time to time the code phrase “Be Canadian” came to be. It’s just a friendly little reminder given to me quietly to make me.....more placid. It brings me back to the way I would be acting if my family was present.....most of the time, sometimes even Canadian’s lose their shit.

Anyways I am off to bed to try and remind myself that sarcastic comments said in my head in French does not count as “being Canadian”....what? Like I said sometimes even Canadian’s lose their temper.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

He's Married and That's OK

Last weekend Mr. X got married and apparently this is one of those blogs I have to write despite not feeling the need to write it.

 Admittedly I’m as shocked as anyone that I didn’t end up turning to tequila and crying my eyes out on his wedding day because let’s face facts, I was in love the guy but I guess the operative word in that sentence is “was” because I was fine.

In all honestly Mr. X’s wedding didn’t even cross my mind last weekend. As evident in blog; I was too busy day dreaming about the dude at work I’m not allowed to like. Who, coincidentally, I didn’t like until I wasn’t allowed to like him, then all of a sudden he was cute. Welcome to the wonderful twisted world that is my brain.

As for Mr. X now being married that’s a non-issue, it doesn’t have any impact on me. Things played out they way they should have and I’m satisfied. The problem with relationships like ours tends to be closure or lack thereof; I don’t have that issue. We’ve said our piece to each other and tied up all those pesky loose ends. The Mr. X chapter of my life was firmly closed long before he said “I do”. If anything it’s reassuring to know he’s now married and that that book isn’t going to magically fly open one day.

Anyways I have to go and work on a post for my other blog “Nightly Correspondence”, be sure to check that out. And since there isn’t really a question in this blog, tell me what name you think I should give the guy from work I’m not allowed to like (I can’t think of anything). And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Sleep, Cuddles and Friends

After my last blog I think it’s time to get back to writing about penis because let’s be honest they’re more fun to read and write about and for the most part they don’t result in a soggy keyboard.

Last night when I woke up about midnight (slightly hung-over) I noticed a text message on my phone from an old friend. It said he was house sitting for his mom and asked if I wanted to sleep over.

Don’t get any weird ideas, when he says sleep he means sleep. We use to do it all the time as teenagers he’d come over to mine or I’d go around his at silly am and just cuddle up and sleep. There’s never been anything sexual between us.

I sent a message back saying I’d love to and he quickly sent me a message back telling me I know the drill. So I slipped on my slippers and grabbed the spare key and went around.

I let myself in and went up to his room and crawled into bed next to him. He put his arm around me and I snuggled up into the comfy chest nook, gave his chest a little kiss and he kissed the top of my head and we fell asleep.

This morning was precious, I woke about 5am and was just laying there snuggled up thinking; about 15 minutes later he woke up and slowly moved his head and neck around to get a look at my face and said “you’re really not happy are you”. I just closed my eyes and shook my head. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me the biggest hug; and reminded me that work isn’t the real world and in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter. I don’t get upset when a stranger from Kalamazoo leaves me a comment on my blog calling me a ugly whore so why should I get upset over what strangers at work thinks?......The guy makes a good point.

He then tickled me to get a smile and suggested we go out for breakfast, I reminded him it was 5:30am on a Sunday so going out for food wasn’t happening so he said “well let’s make breakfast then”. We went down stairs and got covered in flour while making bacon and pancakes and then cuddled up on the couch watching old time cartoons on YouTube.

Sometimes all you need is a dear friend to put things in prospective and to pull you out of your funk and luckily I have some awesome friends and some pretty awesome readers too.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxoxo

Relationship Or Mind Blowing Sex

Someone asked me the other day would I kick Merlin out of bed for Sparky; which caused my brain to get stuck in a logic circuit nearly resulting in it blowing up

The problem my brain faced was I like Merlin, he is the sort of low maintenance guy I’m after; he is for the most part un-blog worthy. Sparky on the other hand is hot....and hot. I don’t want to date him or even cuddle with him, to quote A Million Little Brains it’s like my vagina is possessed. The man just needs not to be in clothing.

So this raises the question would you chose amazing sex over a relationship?

I have no actual knowledge of either man’s bedroom performance; this is purely speculation on my part but one gives off the paint by numbers lover vibe and the other well.....the good luck walking in the morning vibe. Which is strange because it’s a well known fact good looking men tend to be rubbish in bed but I’d bet otherwise in this case.

My brain struggled with the question for a very long time...once again my vagina was possessed so logic wasn’t really a factor in any of this however now Merlin seems to have warmed up a little and doesn’t seem so scared, paint by numbers or not, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for Sparky. I might pretend he was Sparky but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.

It did however take me over a week to come up with an answer so I have to ask would you choose mind blowing sex over a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo