Today was an
interesting day; I finally found some resolve on my feelings for CM. Up till
now I’ve been kind of wishy washy on the issue. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve liked
the guy and there’s been something there but it hasn’t been enough to alleviate
my guilt.
Every time I’ve been
with him I’ve been kind of uncomfortable and super aware that he isn’t......mine
for lack of a better word. And because of that I’ve made a conscious effort to keep
my feelings fairly neutral. Which in hindsight is probably why my guilt wasn’t
alleviated.
Today was different,
I went to see CM on his lunch break, and after talking for a while he kissed me
and for the first time there was no moral dilemma in my head, it just felt
right, that spark was there and it out weighed everything else.
It’s been an awesome
feeling all day being able to answer those “feelings” questions within myself. However
they bring their own set of problems...that at least for today, I’m not willing
to think about.
I kind of want to
live in LaLa land today and just focus on the positives, him being a total
sweetheart, really funny and the way he makes me feel. I’ll deal with the other
stuff....later.
Anyways my dears, I
have to go and swear at the Leafs until they put some damn pucks on net. As
always stay and play safe.
Love,
xoxoxo
nice post
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