Panic

God, it’s been years since I’ve had any sort of panic attack, but they’re still as horrible as I remember. And despite having claimed down, I’m still going to be a mess for hour. Nothing like a breakdown, with lots smoke on the side of a busy motorway to completely freak a person out.

I wasn’t having a good night before, evident by the fact that George, the other guy that works on nights, pulled me aside to ask if I was ok, and to say if I needed him, he was there. But that, that was the icing on a shit filled cake.

I’ve learned over the years, that when I have a panic attack I need someone to distract me, normally laughter will bring me out of it. However, at 06:30 in the morning, I’m pretty limited in my options. Given the fact I had just left work Larry was my first thought. He’s not my favorite person right now, but I’ll give him his dues he’s a funny guy and normally pretty good at cheering me up. Which, mad or not, when you feel like you’re going to die, is pretty helpful. However, I couldn’t get hold of him so I moved on to plan B. Waking up my mom, which I didn’t want to do because she’s sick, but I needed to, I was climbing the wall. I was losing rational thought quickly.

She quickly got me back to a place where I could think again and prevented me from doing anything stupid or dangerous, which at one point was a real possibility. Although shaken everything is fine…. Minus my car and my top that is currently soaked in tears.

I feel bad for anyone who deals with panic attacks on a regular basis, when I did my back I use to get them but not nearly this bad.  When I’m not in a great mind space I wear a necklace with my spirit animal on it, and when I’m worked up, I’ll rub it and try to focus on that and it meaning… works pretty well normally, does fuck all during a panic attack.

Kind of like Larry… that was humor not bitchiness. I’m sure he didn’t know quite how bad of shape I was in when I reached out. And I pray that nobody every sees me like that….I was beyond a mess.

Anyways, that was my rant, I’m going to go and cry for the next 2 hours because I have no control over that shit and I’ll speak you all tomorrow.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxox

The Larry Theory

The week of daily blogs continues, well, we’ll see if this lasts a week but that is the aim. Last night at work wasn’t too bad, I’m pretty over it and have normalized again… my body language is still a wee bit off, but its minor shit like my toes are pointed the wrong way… and to be fair, I wear steals so nobody but me would know that.

I wanted to talk about the theory one of my long time reads had on why I didn’t click that I might have feelings for Larry.

She’s sent me a message saying give my long history of falling into relationships, and being the last to know when I’m in one, she's not surprised the feelings didn’t register because that wasn’t my focus. I was focused more on the character, humor and personality traits. All the other stuff was secondary and not relevant until Miss Pippi whore stockings showed up.

I kind of think that theory proves once and for all you’ll a lot smarter than I am. I thought a lot about this yesterday before I went to bed and looking back on my dating history; she’s not wrong. We all know I am the last to know when I’m in a relationship; I tend to read it on Facebook or back in the day Myspace. A lot of my exes have been friends that have turned into more. I sure as hell wasn’t looking to bang them from the offset. But for the most part they were solid relationships while they lasted, largely because we had that solid friendship ground work.

The theory seems highly plausible to me, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m sure you will let me know. I think I’ll make that your question of the blog; is friendship, then a relationship a good thing or a bad thing? Let me know what you think in the comment box below. And as always stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Awkward

It would appear my “The Story of Larry” post did its job, I actually feel better. My mind doesn’t feel like a shaken snow globe anymore. I almost feel like me again…. Almost. I still feel a little awkward, but that might be for another reason.

I had a “fuck it” moment and gave up my URL to Larry. Actually, what happened was Mr. X messaged me, I took that as a sign and now he’s a one of my readers. That sounds just as bad written out as it does in my head. I’m comforted by the fact Mr. X handled it so well, proving it is at least possible for it not to go up in flames.

Last night was my first time seeing him since everything and to his credit he seemed alright. His body language was a little off, but mine was on the different planet so I can’t talk. I think the worst part is thanks to script writing and acting classes I’m painfully aware it’s off… and I still can’t fix it. Luckily I managed to keep myself busy so at least I could hide a lot of the awkwardness.

Tonight on the other hand is going to be a test; one I don’t like the odds of me passing. I have Larry and Pippi together to deal with. I’ll be honest, the thought of that is keeping me awake. To be fair, it’s more not knowing how I’ll react that’s stressing me. Since I don’t know how I feel, my reaction is surprise to everyone…including me, which is a fucking nightmare. At least I can brace myself if I know I’m likely to react. This, this is a guessing game…… and I don’t like games.

Anyways, I’m going to go and pounder over a comment I received about a theory on why I was clueless regarding my feelings for Larry. I shall report on that one. But before I go I have this question for you; Will Larry reading my blog end badly for me? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Story of Larry

I promised in my last post to explain the whole Larry situation and I figured I better do this while I have the clarity of the weekend and before new events add to the craziness already going on inside my head.

Let’s start with who Larry is. He is a 29 year old, father of one, lorry driver come office monkey who works on night with me. He is genuinely a nice guy, with a great sense of humor. He isn’t afraid to make an ass out of himself in the name fun. He is also a shameless gamer geek, who loves North American culture. He’s exactly like the guys I hangout with when I’m at home. He is just an all-round good guy.

I’ve gotten to know both him and the other gentleman on night pretty well over the last month. I’ve managed to spend a couple of nights just sitting with them learning the ropes. Fortunately, we’ve all gelled quickly and have been able to have a lot of fun swapping stories and sarcastic jabs.

The only problem I have with Larry is, over a very short period of time, he’s learned to read me like a damn book. The Supervisor was the same with me and I hate it because I can’t seem to get away with anything. And the worst part is, he seems to know when I’m not being completely honest with what’s bugging me. That’s not good, especially when I don’t know what’s up or what’s up is him.

You see, the other day at work he was the problem, or at least part of the problem and you can bet your sweet ass I was going to admit that, and he wasn’t buying what I was telling him. But, I was only not telling him the whole truth because how do you tell someone your mind is melting down mode because you think you may like them?

And I use the word think, because even now, I’m not completely sure, I mean everything was fine and normal of minute and the next crazy land. I don’t know when or how or why this happened and it’s completely thrown me for a loop or 12.

I’ll be very honest here; I’m struggling to verbalize what happened, largely because I don’t want to admit it and partly because I handled it poorly, and in a very non me way, and I’m kind of ashamed of that. But I know if I don’t write this, it’ll haunt me and I’ll never move past it, and things will be forever weird so here it goes.

There is this female driver at work, I’ll call her Pippi. Larry has a bit of a crush on her. A couple nights ago when she finished her shift, she hung around chatting. We were having a laugh, a joke and then it started to appear that she might have a thing for Larry as well. Which, in theory, is fine. He’s a good a guy he deserves someone special… In theory, in reality she was stood telling about her friends who she introduced to this guy she liked and now her friend and this guy live together and all I was thinking was “you fucking bitch, and now you’re going that to me.” Which was weird because I don’t know why I'd be thinking like that so I just kept a smile and tried not to let it phase me… hell what’s one crazy thought in a female brain right.

At some point I had to go and get on with some work, so she moved over and started chatting with Larry, making it, at least to me, clear she’s interested in him and that didn’t sit well with me. That said, I’m protective of all my guy friends so I didn’t read a whole lot into that. I stayed quiet and got on with some work.

Then I had to interact with him, and instead of the normal playful, sarcastic exchanged, I got mean, and I think I even physically pushed him away at one point. Which is unacceptable and not like me at. I can only think of one reason why I would have acted that way…. Jealously, and one would assume if jealously an issue is, there’s a reason why.

I was a little bit confused by own reaction, and in an act of damage limitation and to honor girl code, I completely backed off, I spent the rest of the night at my desk, I just kept myself to myself. Apparently I backed off too much though, because Larry questioned what was wrong with me, I gave a reason but he wasn’t really buying it. But, I’ll give him his dues he still did make a point of trying to cheer me up.

The drive home that night sucked, I had to fight to keep it together; I actually felt physically sick. And when I finally got home, I lost it. I’m not sure why; whether it was the confusion, or the feeling that I lost or never had a chance. I mean there is no competition between Pippi and me, she wins every time.

The following night at work was awkward to say the least; I just didn’t know what to do with myself. The reason I had been hiding behind wasn’t there so I had to keep it together a pretend everything was fine, which is easier said than done when your brain is still trying to make sense of the previous day’s events. I thought I was doing ok…. Until the other guy I work with on nights asked me if I was ok and, for the real reason I was upset the night before. I just stuck to my story and I think bought it or at least decided not to push it.

Now it’s the weekend and I have to sort of this mess so I can go into work Monday and be normal. And not react to what may happen and by that I mean, him banging her because in the grand scheme of things, I loose and I have to be ok with that… and if I’m not, I have to fake it.

Anyways, this blog is way longer than I planned and it didn’t help nearly as much as I would have hoped, but it does give you guys some background for the next time I break down and completely snap because something tells me that will happen, it’s only a matter of time.

I am going to go and get some sleep and pray that when I see Pippi and Larry together Tuesday, I managed to at the very least, keep my damn mouth shut as to not make things worse than they already are. I mean, at the end of the day I have to still work with him. But, before I go, I must leave you with a question because that is the law here. How do you deal with rejection? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

New Job, New Boys

I’ve been at the new job 2 months now and for the record, despite some of my old co-workers fears I really am enjoying it. I’m starting to find my feet and almost know what I’m talking about, it’s seems to be going well.

The other perk or the new job is a lot of new men, which sounds better than the reality of it. Most of them are too young, or too old, or too married or too gross. Despite being surround by men all night it really is slim pickings.

That said; slim pickings doesn’t mean no picking and I’m me so, yeah, I’ve managed to find two to make my life needlessly more complicated than it has to be.

Guy number 1, who I am yet to come up with an appropriate blog name for, pursued from the end of my first week. He messaged me, and we got chatting which all seemed harmless enough (isn’t that always the case?) Then he started talking about his penis and the harmlessness became a distant memory.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice enough guy, but he is a walking, talking red flag and I’m not interested in risking my reputation for what would be just a hook up or at most a fuck friend situation. He has way too many issues going on to be what I’m looking for right now.

Then we have guy number 2 who I’m going to call Larry for blogging sake. Larry is an interesting story, I didn’t know Larry was even a thing until the other day. I’m still not sure he’s a thing, that’s going to take some writing and probably some drinking to figure that out. And since it’s currently 8am we’ll address that issue in another blog.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t take this job to troll for men and I tend not to get mixed up with the guys I work with anyways. But the harmless flirting has always been a plus. It makes the night less dull and it distracts when things are going horribly wrong. This job is kind of missing that. At least right now, its early days I guess.

Anyways, you pretty people, I am going to go and get ready for my lunch date with the gay husband and then probably write that Larry blog since I suspect drinks will happen at lunch. But before I go, I must leave you with a question; do you always know you have feelings for someone straight away? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Content

I’m pretty sure you’ve all been wondering where on earth I have been lately. Not only have I been missing from the writing world, but I’ve also been AWOL from social media too, which really isn’t like me. I’m sure the assumption is it has to do with my new job and well that has been a factor that isn’t the main reason I’ve been gone.

The main reason I’ve been gone is, I’ve been content; and I really didn’t want to disturb that balance. I think it was Ernest Hemingway that said “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” And that no truer than in the blogging world, as many of you know. You sit down and pour your heart and soul into what you’re writing and in doing so, you dig and sir emotions you didn’t even know you had.

I was in a place where I didn’t want to dig, I just wanted to be and enjoy the moment. I’m not stupid, I knew at some point the bubble would burst and I’d have to deal with the under the surface stuff. But until that happened, I was good.

They say, “A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.” And boy is true. I find after a while of not writing my brain become a jumble and my ability to understand my own thoughts and feelings is affected. It’s almost like I’ve been doing this so long I need to read back my thoughts to know how I feel or what I want. It sounds crazy and probably is but that’s just how it is.

Writing is my coping mechanism. It’s how I prevent my crazy woman brain from making me bat shit crazy and making me react in ways that can only end badly. It’s that outlet to work out feelings and thoughts, that make only be temporary, but been to be said to be dealt with so life can move on. Writing is my sanity and as much as I enjoyed temporary contentment….long term sanity is probably better.

So that is where I’ve been, you lovely people. I’d love to say I’m back full time, but I can’t promise that at the moment, but I am back; and boy do I have a few stories to share. I am going to go and enjoy this rare day off, but before I go I must leave you with a question. How do you make your brain a less crazy place? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxoxo

Faking OK

I’m sure we’ve all been there; you let thing after thing build up until inevitably you crack, probably because some considerate jerk asks you if you’re ok. And inevitably instead of explaining what is actually wrong; you go with the most obvious or least complicated answer. This inevitably leads to you having to pretend to be ok, when you’re probably not, in order to keep up the illusion that all that was wrong was that uncomplicated, super obvious thing. When in reality nothing feels alright and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

That about sums things up with me right now. I’m faking ok, I’m fighting to be ok, but in reality everything kind of feels awkward and forced.

I kind of lost it at work yesterday; a little thing here, a little thing there and then a not so little thing followed by a minor thing and then that inevitable question and I broke. Now, because we’re all friends here we know it was that "not so little thing" I was reacting to. But that was/ is complicated and not even straight in my own head at this point so clearly when asked I went for the simple answer.

That was all well and good until I had to go into work last night and pretend life is all rainbows and unicorns and pretend all my problems were solved. When in reality I’m going to have to sit here writing for 12 hours to even begin to wrap my head around the issue…. Or at least to figure out what to do with the issue; I know what the issue is. Or at least I think I do.

To try and keep up the illusion, I found myself repeatedly asking myself the question “what would I be doing” and forcing myself to go do those things; Feeling incredibly awkward and unnatural in the process.

Now I’m kind of at a lost on what to do? Do I fess up to what was really bothering. Even though I haven’t worked through all the details myself. Do I keep pretending until everything feels right again? Will it feel right again?

I’m in a one of the those loops where I just need to write and see what answers my brain comes up with, that said, I don’t even feel safe in doing that right now because I have a co-worker on the hunt for this blog and…. Talk about complicated.

Anyways, you gorgeous people I am going to go, and well, edit and post this since I’ve been AWOL for far too long, I promise to explain that at some point too but before I go I must leave you with a question. How do you fake being ok? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxo

The Glamour Summer Edit

 I woke up this morning to the arrival of my Latest In Beauty – The Glamour Summer Edit box, since it’s been a few months since I’ve done an unboxing and because despite receiving a load of subscription boxes I was really excited about this one I thought I’d share it.

When I opened the box the first thing I saw was the temporary tattoos. This is a throwaway item to me. I know they’re all the rage right now and a completely valid thing to include. However, I’m an adult (apparently), and these remind of being kid and getting them as a prize at the bottom of a cereal box and to be honest, I didn’t like them then.

The next item was Eucerin SPF 30 Facial Sun Cream; it’s a summer box and SPF is important so I can’t complain. It’s not super exciting, but I’ll definitely use it. 

Balance Me, Super Toning Body Polish is the next item in this box. Like the sun cream, it’s not overly exciting, but useful. If you want you tan to last it’s important to exfoliate. Since I work nights and I’m pretty sure the sun in a myth, I like to help any tan I do get, to last as long as humanly possible, since I never know when I may see the sun again. Smell wise, it’s a little herbal for my liking and also after swatching it, it doesn’t feel all the gritty so we’ll have to see how well this actually works. 

 The next item is the L’Occitance Shampoo and Conditioner. Shampoo and conditioner isn’t normally something I’m happy to see in a subscription box. but this is L’Occitance we’re talking about here. It’s a very high end brand. My only problem with it is the smell, I had to give away a hand cream that worked fantastically because I wouldn’t get over that overly masculine smell. I’m just hoping the smell doesn’t linger in my hair.

Vita Liberata – Trystal Minerals is the next item in the box. Unlike some of the other items, this is both exciting and frighten. It’s a self-tanning bronzer. You apply it like a normal bronzer and throughout the day it develops into a natural looking tan that last up to 5 days… or so it claims. 

 

 Next up we have Caudalie – Divine Oil; I’ve never tried this before, but I haven’t met a Caudalie product I don’t like so I’m excited to give it a go. It doesn’t have the classic Caudalie smell, it smells kind of like baby oil, but that won’t stop me from giving it a go.

Pixi Glow Tonic is next up, this is a cult classic that I’ve been waiting to try for forever, but Pixi products are hard to come by in the UK. It’s a tiny sample only 15ml but it doesn’t make me any less excited. It’s meant to tighten, tone, exfoliate and leave you with a glow, we’ll see if it does any of what it claims, but I’m sure it’s a cult classic for a reason. 

 Next up is Bourjois – Colour Boost in 04 Peach on the Beach. I like the formula, it’s very moisturizing. The colour on the other hand isn’t my favourite. It’s a pretty coral colour, but I try to avoid them. I find coral colours tend to make my teeth look yellow and that’s just not a cute look.

The final item in the box is this Nails Inc Gel Effect nail polish in Uptown. I’d be more excited for this item if I hadn’t bought 2 nail polish this week in a very similar colour. That said, I love Nail Inc nail polish, its good formula that normally lasts on me. So I can’t really complain. 

Overall I’m really impressed with this box. At £17.99 it seems like a fair price for everything you get. Yes some things aren’t super exciting but minus the tattoos everything in the box is useful. Plus you get some high end brands which is always a good thing.

So let me know what you think about LIB’s latest offering in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Co-worker Sex

Would you sleep with a co-worker? I’m sure this is a question you’ve all asked yourself at some point or another, I know I have.

My answer has always been no. I’m not about to make my work life more complicated than it already is. This, however, hasn’t stopped me in the past from sleeping with them once one of us has left a company…nice little loophole that.

With that said, last time I applied that loophole I ended up with a complete and utter wake-a-doo. So I am a little gun shy now, but I’m sure I’ll get over that.

I can hear you already, so why hasn’t you slept with The Supervisor then?

The answer to that is really simple, we can’t plan to save our lives. He’s a daylight dweller, I work on the dark-side. Plus, he has a family, I have a blog and other responsibilities. So trying to meet up just for a drink takes a lot of coordination.

If I listen carefully I hear a second question; since you’re leaving does that mean you’ll sleep with The Giant?

The answer to that is…I don’t know. I’ve never been one for planning, I tend to just let these things happen so we’ll shall see. Plus, when it comes to him, it’s not just the whole working together thing stopping me. We’ll just have to see how things play out.

Anyways, I’m off to take over the world, or, as the case may be, take a nap before work. But before I go I have this question for you; would you sleep with someone you work with? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

12 Days

I’m getting ready to go back to work after my lovely 12 days off. It's very strange to think in the next 12 days I’ll no longer be employed by the company where I’ve spent the past two years. 8 shifts, that’s it.  Or 96 hours, which sounds like hell, so we’ll stick with 8 shifts.

I’m genuinely sad to be going, but it’s most definitely time. This job has turned me into someone I don’t like and when things get like that, it’s time to move on. At some point you need to put your happiness first before it starts affecting your life outside work…. Or you break your toe kicking a pole.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect the new job to all magic and rainbows, but at this point as long as it’s not where I currently am, we’re good.

I’m still hoping with a bit of luck a few of the drivers will follow me over to the new job. As much time as I spend with the office staff, I’m not really going to miss them. The drivers are the people who make the job and without a doubt they’re the people I will miss the most.

Anyways, I am going and make the most of this my last day off and by that I mean write another blog because I’ll be working when the next post is planned to go live and I’m trying really hard to get back to my 8 posts a month. But before I go I have this question for you; if you left your job today, what would you miss most? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

A Blog About Nothing

This is one of those blogs where I just don’t know what to write about. There’s a lot change coming up in my life, but I feel like it’s too early to start writing about the new job or leaving my current one.

I just had my birthday and although it was fabulous, I don’t have much more to say about it than that. It was a nice reminder that not everyone hates me, which given things at work, sometimes I need that reminder.

I’m still single so not a whole lot to write about on that front. I mean there is some things I would talk about but… I’ll be honest, I’m waiting for things to get a little more juicy before I bore you with all the details.

So that’s everything right now. A little boring, but boring isn’t always a bad thing. With all the change coming up, it’s kind of nice to enjoy life the way it is for a while.

Anyway, I am off to enjoy my lovely holiday, but before I go I will leave you with this question; what is your favorite lazy day activity? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Skulls Are Softer Than Poles

In my first blog back, I said, me not writing may have been a bad idea and as I promised I am going to explain why, but let me just start by saying…. Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. J lol

It’s no secret I hate my job, hell, it feels like I start every blog with that sentence, but lately it’s been getting worse and worse. As many of you know, I work nights, the woman who does my job on the day shift is, to put this in the nicest way I possibly can, completely useless. She never finishes her work, she is messy as all hell and to top it off she’s rude. And somehow all the above is my fault.

I try my hardest to handle the nightmare on days with grace and humor, but it’s easier said than done. Especially since the powers that be decided to get rid the yard controller position so with no yard controller, no planning and no customer services, on nights we’re trying to do 5 people’s jobs between 2 of us. Leaving me very little time as it is, without having to play catch up to little Miss. Useless.

So my previous set of 4 Miss. Useless left me a shit ton of work, the shift manager on duty sent an email questioning why, since when we walked in everyone had said it was a quiet shift. She replied with not 1 but 2 emails slating me. I chose not to reply. The next day, I walked into another email and shit ton of work, this email accused me of not doing my job and I lost it…..big time.

I’m not proud to say it, but I chased after her down the parking lot with the intention of beating the shit out of her. I was pulled back into the office by the shift manager before I was able to kick her skull in. Still angry as all hell, I walked out outside and kicked a pole. I have to wear steel toes for work, so logic would dictate my foot would be fine. Logic lied.

Once I had calmed down, about an hour and half later, it became pretty damn clear I had hurt my foot. Luckily it was my last shift as I was able to get it looked at the next day and it turns out I have broken my little toe.

I guess there are two morals to this story; 1: Don’t hold your anger in, find an outlet and release or otherwise you’ll snap. And 2: When angry skulls are softer than poles, so kick them instead.

I can hear you already, “that’s a horrible thing to say.” No, the horrible thing is that I mean it.

Anyways, I am going to go and ice my foot, and pray to god or whatever may be listening, that I find a new job before I get arrested for murder. But, before I go, answer me this; how do you relieve stress? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

It's My Birthday

I’m going to keep this short because….. It’s my birthday! And I’ve been drinking for 9 hours at this point. Shh, it’s my birthday, it’s allowed.

I just wanted to let you guys know, I got the job J It was a fantastic early birthday present. They called me the same day as the interview and said they were very impressed with me and offered me the job. My trainee salary will be £4,000 more than I am on now so I’m over the moon.

I will admit, I’m little sad about leaving, but I know deep down it’s for the best. I’m just dreading my last shift, money says I will be in tears before I go home. As much as I hate my job, I love the people and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye. Heck, when I told the Giant I was leaving it took everything for me not to break down and cry.

Anyways, today is a happy day, so I am going to go get back to my mojitos because it’s my birthday and sobriety isn’t an option. But before I go I have a question for you; what is your favorite birthday activity? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

An Email At Last

So today I got an email, at last, with the date for my second interview and I’m super excited and maybe a little nervous.  The interview is Thursday, which I think will be the day you’re reading this. I’m writing on the Monday before I head back into work tomorrow to start my 4 on. Which leads me to the problem, the interview falls on my 3^rd day… at 10 am.

This puts me in a bit of a bind, I don’t want to let anyone down at work, but that said, I want to be fresh, and give myself the best possible chance for the interview. However, I don’t want to fuck up my current job in case I don’t get that new job.

All that being said, I hate my current job and taking a day or two off doesn’t sound like a bad idea. The down side being after this 4 I’m off 12 days to celebrate my birthday, so it might look a little weird going in for 1 having 2 off, back in for 1 and then being off for 12. Although I’m not sure I care how it looks.

I guess it’s kind of nice, to have this petty stuff to worry about, it’s taking my mind off the interview, and how much of a big deal this is. I mean, I really want this job.

Anyways, I’m going to go and try and get some sleep, but before I go I will leave the question with you, what should I do about work? Have 1 day off or 2 or none at all? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

A Reason To Smile

I am always very thankful for the handful of drivers that give me a reason to face work when I’d rather run my car off the road then enter that building. I may sound extreme but, that’s a genuine thought that has entered my head… more than once, I might add.

My last set of four, one of the milk drivers, brought me in a box a chocolates for “always being a smiley face in the morning when he comes in.” my heart melted a little. I know I’m not always the happiest by the time these drivers come in but I do try to always make time to have a laugh and joke with them. The fact that someone took the time to recognize that was very touching and made a hard night at work a little easier.

Then you have the Giant who comes in every morning and gives me a hug, particularly if I’m having a bad day, he’ll walk around the desk, given an encouraging word and a big hug. Yes, occasionally he does try and look down my top, but ulterior motives or not, his kind words never go amiss and means the world to me.

Then you have the 3rd Musketeer, oddly enough all 3 I mentioned are friends. He comes in every morning at 02:30 with a big smile on his face, has a laugh and joke with me. Makes sure I’m ok and goes off on his merry way, never complaining or being grumpy. Just a genuinely happy, nice guy.

People like that, make my job easy, and a complete delight, sadly, most people are not like that, and because of that the nice ones tend to get overshadowed and when I think of work it’s the assholes that come to mind not the sweethearts that would do anything for me.

Anyways, I just wanted to take a minute to be thankful for those few remaining sweet guys out there and as my 4 off comes to an end take the focus off the complete fuck-wits and jackasses that do nothing but spoil my day.

Before I go, I have this question for you; what do you do to remind yourself there is still some good left in the world? Let me know in the comments below, and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxi

Bad, Bad, Blogger

I have been a horrible blogger and I need to start by saying sorry and then by expressing my appreciation for those of you that have taken time to message me, just make sure I was ok.

I am perfectly fine, I’ve just been trying to stay out of my own head and live life, and it turns out that may have been a horrible idea (that blog, is to come).

I’ve been so unhappy with work lately, the last thing I’ve waited to do is sit down on my days off and write or even think about everything going on. My logic being if I didn’t focus on these negative things I’d be happier. When in reality, if I don’t use my outlets to release that negative tension, I turn into a crazy person whom I don’t really like.

However, I just wanted to thank you guys who have stuck around, and let you know I am going to try and post a couple more things this week and slowly get back into the swing of things and with a little luck, become slightly less of an evil bitch.

But before I go I must leave you with a question, because, that’s what we do here. How do you relieve stress? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Excited

I’m super excited right now, so I thought I’d take this chance to let you know what is currently going on with me.

As you all know, I’ve not been in love with my job for a while so yesterday I had an interview with one of the leaders in my industry and it went fantastic. So well in fact I woke up this morning to an invite for a second interview.

I’m wasn’t really surprised to see the email, however, I can’t help but be excited.  The not being surprised part isn’t arrogance on my part, the gentleman who interviewed me told me straight up I’d be getting a second interview. He even asked if I’d be willing to relocate to Manchester, which sounds to me like he’s looking to fit me into his company.  So I can’t help but be super excited about this second interview. Sadly I have to wait 2 weeks for that but you know what they say, good things come to those who wait.

Anyways, my dears I’m off to enjoy this lovely whether we’re having before it decides to rain for worse yet…snow. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; what are you excited about right now? Let me know, In the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Holiday

As many of you know I’m on holiday from work right now, enjoying a massive 22 days off. I wasn’t planning on taking that time off my blog as well, however, life happened and it’s kind of just worked out that way. However, I’m missing you guys like crazy.

It’s hard to explain, but when I’m not blogging I feel like I’m missing a limb or something. Blogging is how I deal with everything. I often don’t know how I feel myself until I read it back, that’s how much blogging has become a part of life, as messed up as that sounds.

Anyways, I just wanted to take a minute out and tell you guys I miss you and I should be posting as normal again very soon… I’m back at work on the 25^th so I’ll have to. But before I go I want to leave you with a question… because, that’s kind of what we do here. How do you end up spending most of your time off work? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo