Missing Little Voice

You know that little voice inside your head that is meant to stop you from doing stupid things that and sooner or later you’ll regret? That little buzz kill that ruins all your fun? That little kill joy that stops you becoming a meme on the internet. Yeah, I think mine quit. Or, at the very least has gone on an extended holiday and not left a forwarding address.

I know I am partly to blame. I should have listened to that voice more, made his job easier. But, I didn’t and now his absence is leading to some, frankly, sketchy decisions on my part. I never thought I’d say this, but I want him back. Preferably, before sketchy turns into dicey.

What has this little voice failed to prevent me from doing you ask? Let’s call it an inappropriate exchange of messages with a non-single male. A very non-single male. A married male. A married male whose wife is about to have a baby. Yeah, I’m going to hell.

For what it’s worth, I swear on my vibrator it started off innocent. It truly did. And then, there was a line, and it got crossed and subsequently got tap danced over in a bra and lace panties. Yeah, yeah, I am going to hell, I know.

 I know what you’re thinking, and in this case you’re wrong. I do not have an issue with unavailable men. It’s actually a pet peeve of mine and something I vented about just a few months ago. This was a judgment call failure and something that little voice should have been there to stop.

Allow me to add this minor caveat before I continue; I don’t know what their relationship make up is. There could open relationship deal there or a freedom I don’t know about. I don’t have nor have enquired about that information. I make all my moral calls based on what would upset me in a relationship, not on the rules of someone else’s relationship.

This whole thing started innocently enough, with a little work place flirting. No big deal, everyone flirts. It’s a thing you do to remind yourself not to kill everyone when you finally snap at your desk one day. It then progressed to harmless snapchat messages and pictures. Still firmly in the I am not going to hell category at this point.

Then there was a snap that changed everything, and it wasn’t sent by me. I’ll leave the nature of that snap to your imagination, but from there things got less innocent.

There were some sexual exchanges, that may have leaned toward sexting and some pictures that, well still were leaning PG-13 probably weren’t in good taste. And were definitely not appropriate to be sending a married man. All this from a girl who was once dumped for not doing this sort of thing. Go fucking figure, eh?

I don’t get it, my moral compass appears to be lost and that damn little voice seems to be living it up in Hawaii well I’m planning a tour of hell. And, to be honest, at the moment, I don’t even care.

I’m not going to leave you with a question of the blog, because I predict I’ll get plenty of questions and comments without me prompting you. So, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Let’s Talk About Sex.

Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about… well me. As I assume most of you know my sex life is pretty much an open book and has been for many years, from blogs, articles, sex toy testing to pod casts, most of my sex life is out there in some shape or form. Because of this, I sometimes forget other people have hang ups regarding the topic.

I was having a perfectly ok conversation regarding sexual pasts and I casually mention a 3some I had in my late teens. Boy, did the conversation shift. Anyone would have thought I said I was into humping taxidermy or something messed up like that. And most of it was because it was my “boyfriend” and I wasn’t the guess star.

I will say, if you are going to have a 3some be the guest star, it’s way more fun, but, why the hell not give it a try. If all parties are safe, there is no real harm to be done. The guy who I was talking to about this with was trying to make the point or wrap his head around “how could you watch your partner screw someone else.” And I can understand the thought there. However, in my case, there were no feelings there. That’s why we worked. Hell, we were fuck friends for 6 or 7 years. I still see him about this day and we’ll have a drink. There were never any romantic feeling there, which made things easier for sure. It was purely lust, and for the record it was fun. But I don’t see any issue if there were feelings. However, that boils down to a relationship’s dynamic and surely if you knew it was likely to be a problem. You just won’t do it.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on 3somes and where do you draw the line sexually? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Dating in a Male Dominated Industry

I’ve recently done some research on women in male dominated industries and the effect it has on their life both physically and romantically. To be honest, I was shocked by the research out there. And not only that, but, I was shocked by the stigma single women get from men when they work in an industry dominated by man.

Let’s address the stigma first because, I don’t understand it. Maybe you require a penis to understand the “logic” on this one. But it seems ridiculous to me.

Men seem to believe women who are single in a male dominated industries are broken, or damaged or in some way faulty. Their “logic” seems to be if they can't get a guy with that number of men around them, they're not worth having. 

These guys clearly have forgotten the golden rule “don’t shit where you eat!” Do not mix business with pleasure, it’s a horrible idea. And when you disqualify the guys you’re around 50 hours a week, it’s hard to find a man that can handle their partner being around men 50 hours a week. I’ve worked in transport over a decade and I can count on 1 hand the amount of men that have been ok with my job and most of them worked in the industry themselves. 

We’re definitely not broken, at least not any more so than other women, the system just doesn’t work in our favor. Unless, of course, you plan to climb the company ladder wrong by wrong.

What I was really surprised by is all the research regarding the negative health effects working in a male dominated industry has on women. Where was that warning when I started my career 10 years ago? They are physical risks like women tend to have higher cholesterol and nutritional deficits. And then there’s the mental risks that are even scarier.

Research has found that in a male dominated work place, the hormone found when a person is stressed is on average 15% higher in women than in a man doing the same job. Add in other factors such as lack of support, workplace harassment and sexual harassment and the risk of mental issues pile up. The number of women who work in a male dominated environment that are prescribed medication for mental issues is scary. Some studies have the figure as high as 70%. 

Those figures, actually back up something I’ve said over recent years. I can’t cope with dating and my work life. The men at work drain me mentally and when I get home, I can’t deal with bullshit. I’m snappy and lack almost all patience. Things need to either work effortlessly or I’m out. And since you’re meant to work at a healthy relationship. I am out.

I started my research hoping to find out it was possible to have a healthy relationship while working in a male industry and I’m even less sure than I was before.  The odds are simply not with us. I’m not about to say it's impossible. We pick “impossible” career paths so women in these industries know how to beat the odds. It’s just not as easy or straight forward. And personally, it’s not a fight I am willing to go through at the moment, but for the right guy I am sure it’s possible.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always. Stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Quick Up Date

Since I’ve been AWOL again, let me answer some of your questions so we can get back to the regularly scheduled programming.

What happened to Mr. X? 

Good question, well, I kind of killed him off for my own sanity. He had the baby and we all know, men with children are the best form of birth control in books. So, I just pretended he was dead. It sucks a little, we were good friends and with everything going on with my mom, he’d be nice to lean on, but my sanity needed space to take the lead again.

What happened with the work husband?

Not a damn thing. He was after purely sex, and I do better if that’s the aim. He was relationship material not fuck-friend material.

How’s your mom?

She’s ok. She’s hanging in there. Kidney function is still at 14%.

How are you?

I’m not in a great place, but I am ok. Part of it is I need to sit a write. When I don’t blog my head gets messy and emotions get a little out of whack. So, I’m hoping to make this a priority again. Just for my own wellbeing.

Anyways, hopefully that catches you up a little and now we can start blogging again.

Stay safe. 

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Birchbox Unboxing - June 2018

I've not done an unboxing in a while and since I've not been writing much I thought I'd share June's Birchbox with you.

As I am sure you know, Birchbox is a monthly subscription box that costs £10 a month plus £2.95 P&P.

This month's box comes with 5 items and one bonus item.


The first thing I wanted to mention is not an actual item, but the box itself. This month it is a tin, rather than the normal useless cardboard box thing it comes in. It's fairly pretty and I'll definitely reuse it.




Poaar- Velvety Sun Fluid Face & Body

The first item is Polaar sunscreen. Not my favorite thing to get in a subscription box However, it is a useful item for thing time of year.

ARROW- BOOST Colour Enhancing Lip Balm in Berry Busy

This is not the first time this lip enhancing balm has shown up in a box and I didn't use it then and I won't be using it now. This product, as cool as it may sound, just isn't for me.

Number 4 - Jour d'automne Smoothing Balm

According to the information page, this is good for restoring softness and protecting against humidity and heat damage. I am not happy with this item. My hair gets cranky if I change up the routine. So, sadly I won't be using this product.



Lord & Berry  Strobing Highlighter Pencil

This was promising until I swatched it. It is blendable, but the line you draw never goes away, the glitter just moves around. It's just turns into a white line with clear glitter everywhere. Other than maybe using it on the cupid's bow, it's a fairly pointless product.

Ella Eden - Compact Eyeshadow in Faith

This was this month's choose you item product so, I like the colour. It's not a brand I've heard of before, so I didn't know what to expect. My first thoughts are the packaging feels cheap. For a single eyeshadow retailing for £12.99 I'd expect more. On swatch it feels average. Not very buttery or super bendable. Just ok.


Whittard Of Chelsea - Tea Bags

The bonus item this month is 3 tea bags (lemon & ginger, mango and bergamot and earl grey) from Whittard of Chelsea. I don't like tea so this one is a miss as well.

This month's box was not my favorite. The only thing I really like is the box it all came in. But that's happens with these boxes. I'm sure next months will be better,

Did you get this month's box? And if so what did you like best? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Busy Brain

I’m having one those days were my brain is going 100 miles a minute and I’m struggling to keep up with it. I want to sit and write to clear my thoughts however, I took so long off you guys are out of the loop and I’m not sure it will make sense. But, let’s try anyways.

I’m currently on a much-needed holiday from work, and normally by now I’d relax and refreshed, and I am not. I am stuck in a job that is fantastic on paper, but is slowly killing my soul. And where I use to have hopes of it improving, that hope is dead. I feel it may be time to move on however, the benefits are just too good. There is no other company like it. I am stuck.

Also, my old of work husband has popped up out of the blue. Apparently, he’s relocating to my city. I was cool with the idea however he’s either a drama maker or a tease and I can’t work out which.

And last of all its my birthday tomorrow. 31 years old. This birthday is just me ticking closer to the end of the dream of getting married and having a child. That fucking biological clock just keeps marching on.

Anyways, I have things to do, like make ice so I can be drunk tomorrow. But I’ll fill you guys in as we go along.

Love Always, 

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Mother's Day

Hey Guys,

I know it’s been a while, and as much as I wanted to write something, and let you guys know what was happening. I just wasn’t ready to face it. And to be honest I am still not. However, the first step in dealing with hard things is accepting they’re real and moving out of denial and for me to that I need to write about it.

My mother is not well. Her kidneys are failing, and we’ve been told she not a candidate for transplant. At the moment her function is at 14% it was at 9% when she was first admitted in the hospital. However, since being home it has improved slightly and is at the moment is holding. She will be starting dialysis soon and then it’s a waiting game. We’ve been told someone people last years with low kidney function, other’s months. Nobody really knows what is going to happen and that’s the hard part.

As most of you know, I am an only child, for most of my life it was just me and mom. As nightmares go I can’t think of anything worse. I may be 30 years old, but I am just not ready to lose my mommy.

As I sit her writing this, it’s Mother’s Day and I think of how strong and selfless my mother is. How even now, despite the fact she’s clearly unwell, she’d never admit it. She’s still powering on and putting everyone else first. And all I can do is have a quiet cry, wondering if this is the last Mother’s Day we’ll have together.

Anyways, like I said it’s Mother’s Day so I need to go clean myself up. Put on a happy face and pretend I’m strong enough to deal with all of this.

I promise I’ll be back soon, now that all of this is out there hopefully it’ll be easier to write.

Love ya all

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Stressed For No Reason

Can someone explain to me why I feel so stressed and run down?

It’s not been a bad start to 2018; I started the year with a pay raise, I’ve finally been allowed to order my company car and I’ve only worked 5 sets of 4 so far this year, hell I only have 2 more sets before I’m off again. So, what the hell is up with me?

Ok, they are trying to screw with my contract which is a little stressful, but at least at the minute, they are not pushing it so that shouldn’t account for it. My mom has a surgery pending, but that’s still some ways off. I just don’t get why I’m feeling this way.

 I’m starting to wonder if operation be a less shitty human is the reason. I mean it takes a lot to not snap at idiots. And it takes even more to try to swallow the bullshit they feed you. And listen to them whine and moan. Being a nice human it way more work than one would think, and I suck at it and it’s still draining me.

Anyways, I am going to go and rest up before I head back to work to face another week. But before I go, I have this question for you; How do you keep your calm when dealing with assholes? Let me know in the comments below. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Unmotivated

I’m not sure why, but 2018 so far seems to be the year of being unmotivated. I just have no go, no drive, no want and clearly that’s a problem. That said It’s not that I’m being unproductive; my “to do” list gets done, I’m not failing anything, I’m just dragging my heels and leaving it all to the last minute and not doing things to my normal standards.

This blog is the prefect example. I am writing this at 6am on the day of my first night shift back. Why? I’ve just had 4 days off. I’ve not done anything major during those 4 days off so why am I now giving up sleep to do something I could and should have already done? What the hell is wrong with me?

I like to end these posts with answers, but I have none. This is one of those posts I write hoping by getting the thought out of my brain something will come to me and if it does I’ll let you know.  But I’ll pass the question on to you lovely people. What do you do to get motivated? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

“You Deserve To Be Single”

The other day I received a comment notification on a post I wrote close to 5 years ago. The post was about how I didn’t need a guy in my life to fill a gap, I didn’t need one to lean on or do things for me. A guy was a bonus not a necessity. A point I still stand by all these year later. This “bright spark” felt the need to reply to a blog half a decade old with “if that’s how you feel, you deserve to be single.”  

“You deserve to be single.” I’m not sure why the sentence is an insult. But, it’s  definitely meant as one. Unlucky for him, I don’t personally see it that way.  However, many do, and that troubles me.

Many people, some of them friends of mine, have made it their career to help others not be single. As if being single is the worst thing that could happen to you. And this mindset, is A. Making a lot of people money and B. non-conducive to a happy life. If you think being single is the end of the world, you’ll make it the end of the world. And that tends to lead to settling and that leads divorce where you're back in the “end of the world” scenario again.

I don’t understand any of this. If you haven’t found that special someone that adds to your life, you deserve to be single. You deserve not to waste your time on some loser, you deserve to be happy within yourself.  I don’t understand why being single is seen as death sentence… It’s kind of the opposite.

Anyways, that’s my thought on the matter. What do you think is “you deserve to be single” is an insult or not? Let me know in the comments below. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The  Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Why Do Men Think It Is Ok

This is going to be a fairly short post, mainly because I once again left writing it to the last minute and because I want to throw this out there and get your thoughts.

Why do men who are in committed relationships think its ok to tell other women they like them and or ask them out? On what planet does that end well for them?

Many saying come to mind; “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” “A zebra cannot change its stripes, ” “Lie with a dog, get up with fleas.” “What you associate with reflects on you.” All of which boils down to you’d have to be an idiot and think pretty lowly of yourself to reciprocate.

So why do they bother? It only lowers a person’s perception of them. Which means if they are ever single, they have no hope at all.

Anyways, I am going to throw this one out to you. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always, stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Slow going

Any dream I had of 2018 finally being the year I get life organised is being quickly dashed. This is the second Friday of the year and the seconds Friday I’m writing and posting on the same day. But, I am writing so I guess it’s only a half fail; although I’m not writing the post I planned so maybe a 2/3 fail…. Is that a thing? I guess it is now.

Operation be a less shitty human is going fairly well. I worked with a less favorite colleague last night and I didn’t lose my temper or break a toe or anything. That said, I’m starting think road rage is completely involuntary. It’s as bad as ever and I’m not sure how to stop it without taking up murdering all the idiots on the road.

The plan to get healthy is….. a plan. Progress and changes are happening, however baby steps and until I have a little time off work, it’s going to have to be that way. Change takes time and effort and my work days are too long to really focus and build good habits.

Anyways, I’m going to go and probably get some more sleep. I’m struggling to keep eyes open. But before I go I have this question for you, how do you calm down your road rage? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xox

A New Year A New Me

A new year, a new me… or maybe not. I don’t really buy into the whole fresh start January BS because let be honest January 1st isn’t the ideal time to make giant life chances. Most people started the new year with a hungover, so productivity and exercise are not happening. Most people started the new year with large amounts of junk food still in their house from New Year’s Eve or Christmas so healthy eating isn’t going to happen either.  The whole new year, new you mentality is very flawed.

That said, self-improvement isn’t a bad thing as long as you’re not setting yourself up for failure. That is why I choose to hold off setting goals until life went back to normal after the holiday madness.

After some thought, I decided my main focus for the year would be on being a less shitty human being. I’ll be the first to admit over the last few years I have become almost mean. I have no patience, I have a very short fuse for most things and I have lost a lot of my ability to see the good in people. That needs to change, I’m not sure how, but I’m sure it’s doable.

I also plan on focusing on getting my weight under control, however, I’m not quite ready for that goal yet. That’ll be a gradual work in progress. When head is in the game. I need to work on my attitude first.

Anyway, it’s been nice talking to you strangers again. Hopefully I’ll be better at keeping my Friday schedule this year, but no promises. Before I go I have this question for you; What is your goal for 2018? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Could It Be Done?

So, after last week’s post, I got chatting with the gay husband about the trip and I mention to him I had a bad feeling about the whole thing when I got up to Manchester. He commented I should have ditched her there and gone without her.   I said to him the only other people I know in that direction is my boss and Mr. X. This led to an interesting conservation on whether I could go away with Mr. X and keep things platonic or not.

I may be crazy for saying this, but I think it is doable. Our relationship was built more on friendship and talking than the physical so I can’t see it being that hard.

Yes, the hotel was 5 star, and something about it did scream romance, however the room had 2 single beds and was the whole weekend was planned in a way that there wasn’t a lot of down time therefore not a lot of temptation.  I honestly believe, it wouldn’t have been a problem.

The gay husband on the other hand, disagrees, however, thinks I should have done it anyways, but that’s because he has a theory that I won’t go into on this post because that craziness needs more words than I can give it here.

Anyways, what do you think? Could we have made it a whole weekend without crossing any lines? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Be Careful Who You Holiday With

Overall, my trip to London last week was wonderful; The hotel was stunning, the Book of Mormon was spectacular and Canada Day was a drunken street party and I couldn’t have asked for more. That said there was one little flaw with experience, and that was the person I went with.

I love my work wife to bits but, holy bananas we holiday differently. And that’s probably the best way to put it, we don’t holiday in the same way. And because of that I got cranky, and she’ll say without a doubt, she believes the issue was with me because I wasn’t going to start a fight and just bit my tongue, however cause and effect come to mind.

There were 3 main differences; how slept, how ate, and how we spent our free time…. Which is basically everything in the grand scheme of things.

Let start with how we slept; she is basically a toddler. She needs at least 1 nap, if not two a day and these last from 2 – 4 hours and if she doesn’t get them she becomes unbearable. I on the other hand, sleep at night… like an adult.

How we like to eat is up next. I like to explore when I’m somewhere new. Find hidden gems and try new food, eat things I can’t get at home. She on the other hand, likes fast food and sees no other options.

Last up, how we spend our free time; I like to spend as little time as possible in the room. I’m somewhere different I want to explore, shop and do things. She on the other hand is very content in the room and doesn't like to leave it. Being in the room drivers me crazy.

These are the 3 main issues; there were others, like she doesn’t tip and she comes across borderline rude when dealing with people… and the list goes on but those 3 bugged me the most.

I can hear you now asking how I had a good time, despite these little issues… I ditched her. After the shit show that was there first night; dragging her up from a nap and them dragging to a show she didn’t want to go to, but really enjoyed once I got her there. Then going to Macdonald’s for dinner…. I learned my lesson. My fun was up to me.

So, when she “needed” her nap on Canada Day I went back to the square alone. Made some new friends, met up with some old ones and partied like a Canadian and I had an awesome time doing so.

The trip back was a nightmare, but, that’s a story for another time. Anyways, I am back at work tomorrow, so I need to get my shit together. But before I go I have this question for you; what is your idea of the perfect holiday? Let me know if the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Is This It?

Despite the fact I enjoy being single and the easiness that comes with it. Over recent days, I’ve been starting to wonder; Is this it?

I’m 30 years old now; I always pictured myself getting married and having kids but, in realistic terms, time is running out and it’s not like there is anything on the horizon either. I’m starting to wonder if marriage and kids just aren’t on the cards for me.

With all these thoughts in my head, my brain drifts to those things you hear in passing, like everyone only gets two great loves in their lifetime. I’ve been aware for years if that’s true, I’m fucked. My two have long come and gone. And with that knowledge once and a while, I wondered to myself did I blow my chance?

If you’ve been here a while, my two great loves won’t be a surprise to you. Of course, you have Mr. X who I won’t go into, I have plenty of posts on this site that’ll explain that whole mess. Then you have Chicken Man, who has been on my mind a lot lately.

Chicken Man is unquestionably my other “great love”, that man completely shook me to my core and did nothing but change me for the better. Where Mr. X tore me down. Chicken Man built me up. He entered my life at just the right time and was exactly what I needed. However, due to him traveling for work and things like that, the relationship just faded out over time. However; when I think back on it, I can’t help but wonder what if?

Anyways; enough of that, I need to go and pack for my holiday. When you’re reading this, I will be on my way to London to celebrate Canada’s 150^th Birthday and I can’t wait. But, before I go, I have this question for you; Do you believe we only get two great loves? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and as always. Stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Nothing To Write About

I’m sitting outside in what may be my perfect setting. The sun is shining, the flowers are in full bloom and it’s warm but not uncomfortable… at least not yet. The setting is perfect…yet I have nothing to write about.

I guess, given the past month, having nothing to write about is sort of a good thing. It's giving me a chance to catch my breath and both figuratively and literally stop and smell the flowers. I’m proactively unwinding this 4 off and for the first time in about a mouth I’m angry. And it’s nice.

All this is aided by the fact work was less horrid last week, and by the fact Mr. X appears to have gone AWOL. It’s almost as if the world has decided, “hey, let’s not suck so hard this week.” That said I am now being harassed by a bee so…. May they’re still some work to do.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some wine… because that’s how you get bees to leave you alone, right? But before I go, I have this question for you; What is your happy place? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

He Made It

While my work life may be going hell, at least it appears Mr. X managed to keep his shit together for the month of May. I almost feel like I should send him flowers or something. And a card that reads “Congrats on making it a whole month without being a horrible human being… let’s try for two.”

That is the scary part now, knowing the peace won’t last, because, well, history strongly indicates it won’t.  It feels kind of like a ticking bomb but, only less fun.

So let’s make this fun…

Place your bets now, ladies and gentlemen, when do you think Mr. X will next horrify?

My money is on the beginning of July while I’m on holiday, because that’s just the sort faith I have in him.

Let me know your predictions in the comments below. And while you’re doing that, I’m going to go celebrate having a post scheduled for the right day for a change. Who knew that could happen? Anyways, as always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

I am Not Alright

I touched on how I was feeling unhappy at work in my last post, and that hasn’t gotten any better, in actual fact, it’s gotten worse.

I finished my last shift Saturday, and I won’t go into what happened, but the result was me being in a borderline murderous rage from before my shift even started, onwards. It’s not now Tuesday, 4 days later, and I am still pissed off.

This isn’t ok. My job should not be having this sort of effect on me. I wear a Fitbit and you can actually see the physical effect in my stats. My resting heart rate is over 7 beats higher than normal and my sleep is all over the place, I’m getting next to no REM or deep sleep. This is undeniably not a healthy situation and is taking a toll.

The worst part is, the normal things I do to try and relax and calm myself aren’t working because I can’t stay focused. I’m so not right at the minute, my brain can’t seem to reel itself back in. I can’t get stuck into a video game, one of my favorite ways to quiet my brain; I get 5 minutes in and I’m done. I can’t read a book; 2 lines in and my mind is off somewhere else. I can’t blog; I sit and the computer and the idea of writing is just too much.

I’m debating my next step. Part of me thinks I should get myself signed off work, because I’m not functioning. The other part of me thinks that’s a sign of weakness and I only have to make it 8 more shifts and I’m on holiday anyways. 2 more weeks, that’s all. The question is will I make it that long…. And that really is the question.

Anyways, I am going to go and try to get something done, but will probably just end-up taking a nap. But before I go I have this question for you; How do you refocus your mind? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

It's June

So, apparently its June; I don’t know when that happened, but the calendar seems to think did. Where is this year going? Don’t get me wrong, my work weeks feel never ended, but those magical 4 days off in-between are flying.

And because of that feeling I’m taking a hard look at my current situation. I am starting to feel like it may be time to move on. All jobs have high and low swings, that’s just life, but when you start spending now time at the bottom than at the top of the swing, it’s properly best for all concerned to move on.  

I’m not really sure what my plan is at the minute. I just know something needs to change. I am starting to have that I’d rather run my car off the road, then go to work feeling and that can’t be normal.

Anyways, I am going to go and drink because we all know drinking makes everything better. But before I do, I have this question for you; How do you know when it’s time to find a new job? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo 

So I'm 30

So I am 30 and I still clearly don't have my shit together. I am writing this and posting this 4 days after it should have gone live and it doesn't end there. I have not touched my Facebook, Twitter, worked out or done anything I should have in the last week.

Now, I could blame this adulting fail on work, last week was indeed shit. However, that isn't the reason. The reason is when I took my holiday from work instead of doing the things I planned and getting on top of what I needed to, I did nothing and drank. So my blog and all things related are now suffering because there aren't enough hours in the day.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know what's going on and explain why this and my next post will be late. I need to go and dry my hair before work. But, I'll leave you with this question: What was your last adulting fail? Let me know in the comments below, and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Lost Cause At 30

I was having lunch with my Mom the other day and we were talking about my upcoming 30^th birthday and in this conversation, she casually commented that she’s long given up on my getting married and having kids. First things first…thanks mom, love you too, and second of all; I’m 30, I am not past my sell by date just yet.

I knew what she meant, however, days before my 30^th part of me heard that comment as her calling me unlovable and telling me I was going to die alone. When in fact she was commenting on how happy I seem on my own and that I’m not longing after anything, love or kids. I am happy and am kicking butt at the minute.

Despite knowing what she meant, part of me is a little hurt. Why can’t I kick butt and have love and kids too? I’m 30, there’s still time, my eggs are rotten yet. I am, despite my mother’s comment, lovable. I mean, perfectly messed up unavailable men are into me, so surely there must be a decent one out there somewhere I don’t repulse.

Or maybe I’m wrong and I am an egg salad sandwich; bonus points if you know what that’s from. Anyways, I am going to go and drink, because that’s what unlovable people do. But, before I go I have this question for you; at what age are you a lost cause? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Positive Place

Strange thoughts enter your head when you sit down to write a blog post, and today is no different. As I sit here on May 11^th I’m realizing this is likely the last post I will write as 20-something. I feel like this post should be something special, and conclude the entertaining drama that was my 20’s, but I just can’t do that. I’m entering my 30’s in uncertainty. I don’t have all the pieces figured out just yet, however, I’m oddly ok with that.

A lot of doors are now closed and in an odd way, that’s a good place to start. I know where I’m not going and that’s almost as good as knowing where I am. I’m in a very positive place with everything. 30 is definitely a fresh start.

And on that same note, when Mr. X posed the question “What do you want from me to see in your 30's?” the other day, my instant thought was “for you not to ruin my 30s too.” Which is an unfair comment on my part. He was a time suck for sure, however, that time suck stopped me from doing some dumb things. And he didn’t ruin my 20s, he gave me the script for one hell one a good book/movie one day. I didn’t answer him in the end. He said something about I could have asked for flowers... Mr. X and flowers… I doubt even I’ve been that drunk to think that’s a thing. I think nothing is the much safer answer.

Someone did ask me if me the other day if Mr X will play a part in my 30s. And I suspect he will, we’ve been friends for many years, however, his part will be much smaller. Life moves on and relationships change. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.

Anyways, my bottle of wine is cold now, so I am going to go and drink it. Before I go though, I have this question for you; What do you regret not doing before you turned 30? Let me know in the comments below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo