Friday, 10 August 2018

Missing Little Voice


You know that little voice inside your head that is meant to stop you from doing stupid things that and sooner or later you’ll regret? That little buzz kill that ruins all your fun? That little kill joy that stops you becoming a meme on the internet. Yeah, I think mine quit. Or, at the very least has gone on an extended holiday and not left a forwarding address.

I know I am partly to blame. I should have listened to that voice more, made his job easier. But, I didn’t and now his absence is leading to some, frankly, sketchy decisions on my part. I never thought I’d say this, but I want him back. Preferably, before sketchy turns into dicey.

What has this little voice failed to prevent me from doing you ask? Let’s call it an inappropriate exchange of messages with a non-single male. A very non-single male. A married male. A married male whose wife is about to have a baby. Yeah, I’m going to hell.

For what it’s worth, I swear on my vibrator it started off innocent. It truly did. And then, there was a line, and it got crossed and subsequently got tap danced over in a bra and lace panties. Yeah, yeah, I am going to hell, I know.

 I know what you’re thinking, and in this case you’re wrong. I do not have an issue with unavailable men. It’s actually a pet peeve of mine and something I vented about just a few months ago. This was a judgment call failure and something that little voice should have been there to stop.

Allow me to add this minor caveat before I continue; I don’t know what their relationship make up is. There could open relationship deal there or a freedom I don’t know about. I don’t have nor have enquired about that information. I make all my moral calls based on what would upset me in a relationship, not on the rules of someone else’s relationship.

This whole thing started innocently enough, with a little work place flirting. No big deal, everyone flirts. It’s a thing you do to remind yourself not to kill everyone when you finally snap at your desk one day. It then progressed to harmless snapchat messages and pictures. Still firmly in the I am not going to hell category at this point.

Then there was a snap that changed everything, and it wasn’t sent by me. I’ll leave the nature of that snap to your imagination, but from there things got less innocent.

There were some sexual exchanges, that may have leaned toward sexting and some pictures that, well still were leaning PG-13 probably weren’t in good taste. And were definitely not appropriate to be sending a married man. All this from a girl who was once dumped for not doing this sort of thing. Go fucking figure, eh?

I don’t get it, my moral compass appears to be lost and that damn little voice seems to be living it up in Hawaii well I’m planning a tour of hell. And, to be honest, at the moment, I don’t even care.

I’m not going to leave you with a question of the blog, because I predict I’ll get plenty of questions and comments without me prompting you. So, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

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