Top 5 Dating Site Profile Picture No-nos

As I said in my previous blog, I’ve decided to give Internet dating another go and over the past few weeks I’ve come to notice that men are utterly clueless when it comes to knowing what women are looking for when they look at a profile picture.

So for the sake of women everywhere I thought I’d list my top 5 dating site profile picture no-no’s and who knows, I may throw in a few things you should do as well just for good measure.

No-no #1 - The drunk picture: Nobody wants to date a man who clearly can’t hold his alcohol. I understand why you’re posting it, you’re going for that fun loving vibe, however, that’s not the vibe you’re giving off. You’re giving off more of the party every night, going nowhere in life, kind of vibe.

No-no #2 – The topless picture: I don’t have an issue with a topless picture being somewhere in your gallery; I do, however, have a problem with it being your main picture, especially if your face isn’t even in the picture. Forgetting the fact it’s sending out a strong “I’m only here to get laid” message. If you’re looking for more than that, you’re not going to be happy with the sort of woman a picture like that attracts, so just don’t do it.

No-no #3 – The surround by women picture: When I come across a picture of a guy who is surrounded by women, whether they’re real women or clearly model’s I always click no my reasoning is simple, drama. Men with lot of female friends in my experience come with a lot drama, and who wants that in a guy they haven't met yet?

No-no #4 – The hotter friend picture: This one should go without saying, but when you post a picture to a dating site you should be the hottest person in the picture. You don’t want to start a relationship with a woman fantasizing about your best friend.

No-no #5 – The slob picture: If you look like you haven’t moved off the couch in 2 weeks don’t be surprised if nobody is giving you any attention. There is a big difference between looking chilled and relaxed in a picture and looking like you’re afraid of the shower.

And just so this post is completely negative here are two things that women like to see in a dating site profile picture.

#1 – A suit: As cliché as it sounds, there is nothing more attractive than a man in a suit. It gives the appearance that the man is put together and knows what he wants in life. Appearances can be deceptive, but by the time she figures that out you’ll have hopefully won her over with your charm.

#2 – Your adorable dog: I can’t explain this one, it’s just one of those facts of life. A cute dog makes you better looking and more appealing. I’ve noticed it myself, guys I’d normally instantly pass on get a second look because their dog is gorgeous….and I’m not even a dog person.

Anyways, that’s just my thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear yours. What advice would you give men when it comes to picking their profile picture? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Internet Dating

In an attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone and break some walls down, I’ve decided to give internet dating another go. And I’ve quickly come to the conclusion I’m going to die alone and after seeing what’s out there…. I’m ok with that.

My biggest problem has not been the freaks, nor the instantly clingy men, nor the almost certain murderers; it’s actually been real life people. And by that I mean people I already know in the real world. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but if I wanted to date people I already knew, I’d be dating them. That and some of them I have already dated and that clearly ended well.

The men I have managed to find that haven’t previously existed in the real world, have quickly caused me to flee for my safety. When someone is pushing to meet you in person after only 2 messages, they either only want to fuck your brains out or eat your brains out of your skull, either way I’m not really interested.

However, I shall persevere in my mission and who knows after all these losers in aluminium foil, maybe I’ll find my knight in shining armor, or maybe I’ll just get a few good blogs out of it…. Either way I’m happy.

I won’t leave you with a question this blog, however, I will ask you to leave your internet dating stories below, whether they’re good or bad I want to hear them. And as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Lord Of The C*nts

“It’s been 5 years feel free to get over it” – Mr. X

I have never wanted to punch Mr. X so much in my whole life. I’m not sure if that’s his way of show guilt or he’s just a flat out c*nt but I’m not impressed one little bit right now.

So my let me start by saying the events themselves I’m over, I forgive him completely, that’s why I’m able to talk to him and joke with him, I have no ill will (minus today) for him. We were young and stupid and I get that and I’m at peace with everything.

The problem is despite being at peace with everything, I’m fucked up, I’m scarred and despite forgiving him, those scars are still there, whether he or I likes it or not. I’m emotionally disfigured and I’m working on it, but that’s just how it is.

My goal for 2015 is to work on it, and that was going to be this blog before the lord of the c*nts upset me, but it’s going to take time to break down the walls I’ve created. That’s the problem, or scar if you will, that he’s left me with. I get the same complaint repeatitedly; the sex is fantastic, but I don’t let anyone in, so it’s impossible to have a real relationship with me. Like I said, I’m working on it, but those walls were built by an expert and will take a lot of time and dedicated effort to destroy.  

And in the meantime being told how to feel by some egotistical dick isn’t helping matters. I will get there, I just need to do it on my own terms and not to force it, because every time I’ve forced it in the past those walls have just gotten higher and thicker. And that’s kind of the opposite of what I’m going for here.

Anyways, I hope this post clarifies a few things, I know it’s made me feel better. I’ll fill you in on my plans to get over all this in my upcoming blogs, but in the meantime I shall leave you with this question; what scars have past relationships left you with and how have you overcome them? Let me know your thoughts and stories in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

New Year's Resolutions

It would appear January and I don’t get along very well, last year I didn’t manage a single post in January and this year we’re well into week 2 and this is my first post. I’ve already managed to fail 2 or my 3 New Year’s resolutions so 2015 is off to a fantastic start.

The first resolution I managed to fail at 10 seconds into the New Year. It was be less quick to anger, however, when the fireworks at midnight, woke up this sleeping bitch that went straight out the window.

The second one was to post my Facebook question of the day, every day; luckily Facebook has made it possible to cheat the resolution back insistence, so be sure to check out my Facebook page (like my shameless plug?)

My third and final one is to post a minimum of 8 blog posts a month. With a little work on my part that one is still possible, however, my week and a half off is going to make it a little tricky.

I don’t know what it is about this time of the year, but it seems to be out to get me. I’ll explain what happened this year at a later date, but let’s just say work was bad enough I was drunk for 4 days straight.

Anyways, my dears, I off to get some much needed sleep… I think I’m still hungover, and before you ask, yes, it was that bad. But before I go, I want to leave you with this question, what are your New Year’s resolutions and how are you getting on with them? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Christmas Eve History

If you’ve been here a while, you may remember Mr. X’s Christmas Eve spectacular; and if you’re new here I shall give you a brief synopsis. Christmas Eve 2009 Mr. X turned me into the bitch I am now. He told me he had feelings for me and there was something there. And then less than an hour later he decided he “just couldn’t” and vanished.

I’m not going to lie, that fucked me up….badly and years down the line I still carry those scars but at the same time I’m very grateful. That gave me a lot of strength and that was never more evident than last night when Mr. Block sent me a message that was flat out wrong and very low.

From what I can gather he was out drinking and he sent me this message “Come on it’s time to fuck me or leave me alone xx”. Before Mr. X that message would have had me tears, but now that message just enraged me. On what planet is that an acceptable thing to say to anyone, let alone to say to someone on Christmas Eve?

Now I could be over reacting given the day of the year and it’s not so pleasant history but I don’t think I am. I also think, if that’s the game he’s going to play, he can go die a slow painful death. I’m after an adult relationship and he keeps proving himself to be a child. And I’m just not interested in that.

Anyways, it’s Christmas so that's enough of that; I’m going to go and spend time with people who love me for me and not just for my vagina. But before I do, I shall leave you with a question; on what planet is that message acceptable? Let me know your thoughts in the comment below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo