Moving On To 2107

As I sit here and think about everything that has happened over the past 12 months, I can’t help, but be pleased that 2016 is finally over.

My love life has been dull and barely existent. And to be fair the bits that have existed, I really wish hadn’t.

My social life and health has been poor, both clearly linked. Due to back problems and stress I just haven’t been as active and that has had a knock on effect to other parts of my life.

My work life has been stale, unrewarding and stressful. I mean I broke my damn toe because of my frustration at work… that’s not normal.

That said, despite all the negativity 2016 has brought, I can’t help but be somewhat optimistic for 2017.

I’m starting the year back on track with my blog, even though the social media side is still lagging, the actual site is getting regular content. I have a big night out planned for the end of January which should be good for both my social life and my working relationships. I’m starting 2017 with a 2-grand pay raise. So, 2017 isn’t looking hopeless by any means. There’s actually a lot to looking forward to.

I just hope it stays moving in that direction. And on that oddly positive note, I am going to leave you and make an early start on my New Years drinking. But, before I go, I have this question for you; what are you optimistic for in 2017? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Unavailable Men

When I sit, and think about my problems when it comes to dating it all boils down to one main issue; unavailable men.

Mr. X is the prime example, he’s married now. No matter what there is or was or what feeling may be there. He is married.

There's a guy at work that keeps hinting he’s unhappy in his relationship and wants to take me out, but the bottom line being he’s in a relationship. There’s no point in entertaining him…. He’s unavailable.

This seems to be a trend lately and it really needs to stop, I am 30 next year, and it’s about fucking time I go at least got one aspect of my life together.  I’m not saying I need to find love, I just want the options the universe presents to be actual options. I don’t think that’s too much to ask really.

Anyways, I’m back at work tonight for my last 4 before Christmas and I think I am going to go and get dressed and put some fuel in my car to save running around tonight. But before I go I have this question for you, what aspect of your life do you wish you could get your shit together in? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Repeating History

Let me start this post by fully acknowledging I’m an idiot who clearly hasn’t learned from the past. Do you remember a post I did in May 2015 called Skulls are Softer than Poles? In that post I explained that I lost my temper at work kicked a post, broke my toe. You know because I’m an adult.

Last week at work after dealing with a menopausal bitch driver and a co-worker who has no understanding of time, I lost my temper. I didn’t kick a pole this time, apparently, I learned something. However, I did kick a large yellow grit container resulting in the same thing… I broke my toe… Once again because clearly, I’m an adult.

Last time I forgot how to be an adult and melted down like Britany Spears 2007. I followed up by quitting my job. I decided no job was worth being so upset over. This time, I’m not sure what my plan is. My stress level was not helped by the fact I was forced into a situation I didn’t want to be in. Things that night were not the norm. That said, I am not happy where I am. 

Anyways, I won’t be making any life decisions tonight and it is time for some more pain killers and to get some sleep, because broken toe or not, I’m back in hell tomorrow. But before I go, I do have this question for you; What do you do to stay calm? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Work Review

I’m a fairly nocturnal person, hence why night shifts have never bothered me. Yet for some reason on my first shift in my body refused to sleep and I’m awake before the damn birds. Maybe this lack of sleep is why my boss thinks I’m “aggressive”. Personally, I think my aggressiveness is triggered idiots, but I’m sure others won’t see it that way.

My Christmas review is coming up, hence why all this crap is running around my mind. Considering last year, I put my hand through a wall after my review, I’m hoping this one goes slightly better.  

Seeing as I haven’t actually seen my boss since my July review, where he called me “aggressive”, I can’t see this going well. Whatever he bases it on will be second hand rhetoric and that can’t be good for me, since being a “people person” isn’t a skill I excel in these days.

Anyways, wish me luck as I face another week of peak season in transport. But before I go, I have this question for you; what do you do to stay calm and non-aggressive at work? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

12 Wasted, but Wonderful Days

Today is my last day of 12 wonderful, magical days off work and I’m pleased to say I’ve done not a damn thing during that time. Hell, I think I’ve only been out of my pajamas once. And as unproductive as it’s been, it’s felt fantastic.

My real-life job has been so stressful lately, I thought about taking my old job back.  I think my brain and body needed to veg. It needed to reboot and restart. And mindless tasks like online shopping, playing computer games and binge watching House is just what I needed to feel less like I’m one moaning driver away from being arrested for attempted murder.

Despite wasting 12 days, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. That said, it is Black Friday and I have some major online shopping to do before I return to the grind tomorrow night. But before I go I have this question for you; what has been your most relaxing holiday? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Blast from The Past

It’s not often I received a friend request that actually makes me smile, normally there from what I call “green card man, I’m sure you know that type, creepy man from a dodgy part of the globe, whose request you instant decline.  However, last week was different, I received a request from someone who instantly put a smile on my face, a complete blast from the past.

When I worked for my previous company, before we moved locations, there was this lad in the warehouse, I’m going to call him Martin. He was one of the day shift supervisors, he was well put together, funny, knew shit, the only downfall he had was he was a little younger than me. That said, even back then I was willing to overlook that, which is completely unheard of, we all know I don’t do younger men.

Our paths didn’t cross too often, since I worked nights and he did days, but when they did, we’d always chat and joke around and flirt a little. But nothing ever came of it. When it came to light the site was closing, he joined the army and I stayed with the company. And with that we lost contact.

Then last week his name popped up in my friend requests, I knew who was it was straight away and I couldn’t help but smile. That said, I didn’t read a lot into it, ex co-workers add each other all the time. We had something like 12 friends in common, so odds are I just popped up as a suggestion. I accepted his request and started getting ready for work.

Less than 5 minutes later he popped up in my chat. It was pretty standard at first, I was a little shocked he remembered so much about me, it has been nearly 5 years. We continued messaging while I was at work that night, and then the message got a little flirty and started ending with “xx”. I don’t read a lot into that, but it’s a positive sign.

We continued to message for a few days, getting more and more flirty but nothing even PG-13. Just feeling each other out and trying to figure out each other intent. I’d say, neither of us have completely worked each other out yet. I’m not sure if he’s after a hook up or more. He’s in the army so I always put my money on just sex, but that wasn't his style when I worked with him. My other concern is he’s a little out of my league, words I never thought I’d have to say.  That said, I’m going to play the game and see where it goes. I mean Mr. X got me and I’m way the hell out of his league.

I haven’t been able to speak to Martin in a few days, he’s away on exercise, but once he’s back Friday I’m looking forward to seeing what’s there. And as I always say, if nothing else, I should get a few good blogs out of it.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, it’s been a long few days. But before I go I have this question for you, have you ever dated anyone out of your league and how did it end? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Math Is Against Me

I was talking with one of my drivers about how I always seem to be sick on my days off. I explained to him it’s the price you tend to pay when you work 4 on, 4 off, and when you think about it, it kind of makes sense.

When you work 4 on, 4 off, you don’t tend to allow yourself to get fully better. The average cold or flu lasts 7-10 days.  If we start getting sick on our 3^rd or 4^th shift in, it’s normally at its worst by our 1^st or 2^nd day off. 2 or 3 days later, as you do with the flu, you feel better. And that puts you right at the start of your work week. The problem being, you’re not better, you’re just better than you were.  And your mind will tell you, you’ve been in bed for 4 days, you're better and to go to work! The math, on the other hand, will tell you it’s only been 5 or 6 days since you got ill, despite what you think, you’re not better.

But, because nobody ever listens to math; so you go to work, and due to another mathematical equation that is working against, 4 days later, when your work week is done, you’re still sick, probably sicker than you were 4 days ago and the cycle continues.

There is another math equation that works against you and is probably the reason you got sick in the first place and the reason your recovery will take longer than it should; sleep, or lack thereof. When you’re sick, you need rest to recover and lots of it, and when you work 12 hour shifts you don’t get it. And it’s easy to see why.

It takes me 1.5 to get to work, 1 hour to get home. I give myself 2 hours to get ready and eat before work, right there only leaves me 7.5 hours. I have to come in from work, take off my makeup, actually fall asleep. Even if that only took an hour….and trust me, it’s always longer, that only leaves a possible 6.5 hours of sleep a night. And that’s banking on me getting out of work bang on 6am…. Which isn’t a thing that happens. So I’m lucky if I get 5 and half maybe 6 hours of sleep a night. Remembering 8 hours is what we’re meant to be aiming for. By the end of my working week I have a sleep debt of 8+ hours, or a full night’s sleep. Which is why like most 4 on, 4 off night shift workers I rarely see my first day off.

Like I said, math is against me, which is a shame, because it was always my favorite subject in school and now it’s trying to kill me. Anyways, I am going to go and sleep because…. Math. But before I do I have this question for you; what do you feel like is working against you? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

2 Months Down, 10 To Go

I can’t believe February is almost over, it feels like just yesterday it was New Years. And now we’re two months in, this year is just flying by.

February has been the month of ghosts of boyfriends past, which is almost fitting given the fact it was Valentine’s Day this month. I’m not sure why so many exes popped up, but it severed a strong reminder that I am where I want to be. Nothing they’ve said has been tempting, it’s been kind of nice to realize all the bullshit over there years has led me in the right place.

Work has been testing; I have had my moments, but overall I’m getting there. I’ve taken a step back and in doing so, I’ve managed to take a step forward. If that makes any sense. I’m still a little “grrrrr”, but I’m doing a much better job of dropping it once I leave and actually being able to enjoy my time off.

On the blog front, I’m really enjoying the new schedule. I’m about 2 weeks ahead with my writing, which takes off a lot pressure and allows me to enjoy the process more. It also means if I get sick or I just don’t want to write, I don’t have to. It’s also meant I’ve been able to do some bonus posts, which I don’t normally do, but have brought in a lot of new readers, a lot of which are sticking around and reading some of my old posts which is awesome.

March is going to be very work focused, I have a few OT shifts lined up which means I won’t have a whole lot of time for extracurricular’s. I don’t really mind, it keeps me out of trouble and thanks to the way they’re lined up I’ll even get some sleep in. The plan for March was to get all my social media back in line, but I think that goal may have to wait until April.

Anyways, you lovely people, I am going to go and write an assy email to a company who doesn’t seem to understand when I pay for next day delivery I expect it the next day. But before I go I will leave you with this question, What is your goal for March? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Not There

In case anyone is wondering, I may it a grand total of 22 days before I completely lost my shit at work. I’m fairly impressed with that; everyone deals with the work bullshit differently. Some people get vindictive, some shut down, some smile and go home and drink; I cry, shake it off and make a mental note to get revenge later.

Not the most positive way of dealing with things, but it works. It goes strongly against the whole “don’t feed the bad wolf” upbringing I had, but I never liked that story anyways. I also really hate the smell of smudging which is the other thing that I keep getting told to do right now. Plus, I can’t smudge the office, so that’s not the most practical advice.

I keep getting told just be Canadian, it’ll get you through. Meaning be nice and polite and fall back on my upbringing. Solid advice and I know it, but sometimes getting into the head space where you can listen to solid advice is half the battle and today, right now I’m not there.

Anyways, I’m going to go and get ready for work. But before I do, I leave you with this question, how do deal with work bullshit? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe. 

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

One Month Down, 11 More To Go

One month down, 11 more to go. With one month of 2016 basically behind I thought I’d take the opportunity to do a quick recap.

My New Year’s resolution is… slow going. I’m not sure I’m any more positive, however, I am getting better at knowing when to walk away. I haven’t melted down at work yet this year. I just walk away, go relax upstairs for 10 minutes and then get at it. Which I guess is a small victory.

I’m about half way through reading Emotional Vampires at Work; which is surprisingly more useful than I thought it would be. I’m not so sure I’ll be able to implement a lot of it, but it’s been very useful in helping me understand my own automatic responses. Hopefully with a little time I’ll be able to shut of that autopilot mode and stay out of trouble…. I’m not holding my breath though.

In other work related news, I think I’ve finally convinced my old supervisor to apply for a job at my place. There is an ops manager job going, which is apparently rare because they like to promote from within so it’s not normal to walk into a management role, but the job is up and he’d be prefect. So I’m keeping everything crossed. It would be really nice to have the team back together.

So, that’s been my January, I’m still an angry, non-positive, single bitch, who if it wasn’t for the fear of jail would go on murderous rampage at least once a week. However, the year is young, who knows, maybe by December I’ll be all rainbows and magical unicorns.

Anyways, you sexy people, I am going to go and have a relaxing pamper night, but before I do I have this question for you; how are you getting on with your New Year’s resolutions? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Leave Me Alone

Do you ever just want to stand up and scream “leave me the fuck alone!”? I don’t know why, but lately that’s me all the time. My disdain for being interfered with is at an all-time high. I have no tolerance for it at all.

Asking stupid questions, nagging, people not doing what they should; causing me to have to do things I should have to, all are flipping my bitch switch at a rapid rate.

I’m starting to think I’m part bear and should be hibernating right now. Which would explain my overwhelming desire to be left alone and why swiping people’s heads off sounds so appealing right now.

That said, it’s not that I’m in a bad mood or anything. I just don't want to go above and beyond. I want to do my job and go home. And please note I said MY job. I don’t want to extend myself, I want to coast. Which may sound bad but, Christmas took a lot of me and being sick over New Year, I need to recharge and am not being allowed to.

It doesn’t help that work is looking at a lot of changes right now; and changes and tiredness and difficult personalities are a horrible mix…. And possibly a deadly one for the next person that asks me a stupid question.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some much needed sleep. But before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what do you do to recharge? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Let's Be Positive

Like I said in my last post, I’ve been tasked with the goal of being more positive this year and in an attempt to make a little headway with this goal I’ve been doing some research.

Let me start by saying there is a lot of utter bullshit out there on the matter. I don’t know whose writing this shit, but they clearly never spent one minute in the real world. “Eliminate all negativity from your life” …. Ok, so I’ll quit my job and never leave the house again. Let’s be honest, most the advice on the matter is highly unrealistic and impractical and because it’s unrealistic and impractical it’s never going to work.

That said, I did manage to find few none crackpot ideas that I’m willing to try.

The most interesting being the idea of “Two Steps Forward”.  The idea is when you find yourself judging others, or focusing the negative, or complaining; you counter it with 2 positive thoughts or gratitudes.

So for example; when I find myself thinking my day shift are a bunch of brain dead wankers. I can counter that with, I’m grateful I have a job and I’m surrounded by lovely, hardworking, helpful individuals on nights.

There was also the controlled breathing technique I’ve been meaning to try for about 28 years. It’s said those who can control their breathing can control their life, I kind of think this is hokum, but I’m willing to give it a try.

The third and final thing technique I’m going to try is setting attainable goals. I’m not sure this one is going to work for me. I’m not very goal orientated, I’m more of a fear of failure orientated person, but I will try setting a small goal every day and seeing what effect it has on me.

I’m probably not going to try and implement all these at once, but over the next few months I will give each and every one of these a fair shot and add and subtract as necessary. I’ve heard small changes are more likely to stick anyways, so we’ll see.

And if none of this works I shall take a few more acting classes and play a character during working hours. It’s always good to have a plan B right?

Anyways, you lovely people I’m going to go and get some sleep, but before I do I have this question for you; what do you do to be less negative?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

New Year, New Plan

Happy New Year you gorgeous people. How the hell have you been?

I’ll be honest, I took a longer break than I originally planned. I planned to take December off and revamp things here for 2016. However, I kind of got sick and busy in November and my hiatus grew a little…. Ok, a lot. Hopefully with the changes I have planned for this year, that won’t happen again.

 

The first and biggest change being I'm going from 8 posts a month, to one post a week. The thought behind that being it’ll free me up to do more collaborative work and have more fun with my writing again. I’m aiming to have a new post up every Friday, however, as long as there’s one up a week I’ll be happy.

The other change being I’m not planning on dating in 2016. I want to spend the year getting my ducks in a row, working on myself and focusing mainly on my career, both writing and transport. I want all that to be solid before I introduce any possible source of drama into my life.

On the working on myself side of things, I’ve been tasked with the mission of being more positive. Which is hard for me. I’m not negative like my boss seems to think. I’m just sarcastic, and dry humored. Which is fantastic for my writing, improv, and the stand-up I’m starting to tinker in, but apparently puts character doubts in my boss’s head that will hold me back from promotion. So, I need to work on it or at least work on hiding the real me while I’m working. 

Anyways, you sexy beasts, I’m going to go, but before I do I have this question for you; what is your New Year’s resolution? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Improv Freedom

I managed to catch an improv class tonight for the first time in a few weeks and I have to say I feel amazing for it. There’s something about having to be so quick and on point that clears your mind and removes any filters you have. It’s very freeing. It’s kind of how I imagine therapy must feel for normal people.

After biting my tongue all week, it feels fantastic to just let everything inside my head pop out. I love my job don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to get really fed up with the attitudes of some of the people and I’m finding it an increasing struggle not to say something.

In a fairness, part of it is I need to book a few days off and I need to get better at recognizing that and acting on it before I turn into a crazy bitch. No matter how much you like your job, there are times you just need to get away. Improv and drinking will only get you so far, sometimes you just need to relax.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, but before I go I have this question for you; how do you know when you’re due a holiday? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxo

Bad Life Choices

Am I the only one who finds themselves occasionally doing things that they know are a bad idea?

It seems every few years, my brain enters a fuck it mode where it understands what it’s thinking is a horrible idea but rationalizes it with “why not? It’s a little bit of fun and if it all goes wrong, is it really going to make things that much worse?” And for whatever reason, sooner or later the rest of me buys that rational and goes along for the ride. And shock horror it pretty much always ends badly.

I think the last time my brain entered that mode was when I agreed to go out with that guy I was telling you about in my “Past Rumour” post. I knew it was horror idea, even though he had left, we had a lot of friends in common and I just knew it wasn’t smart. But, I thought “what’s the worse that is going to happen”, and now ex co-workers know initiate details about my sex life.

The problem I’m having is my brain is in the middle of one of those fuck it cycles right now, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before I give in and I’m left to clean up the pieces afterwards. Despite knowing full well this is a horrible, stupid, foolish idea that can only end badly.

I bet you want to know what the bad idea is, don’t you?

After radio silence for almost 2 months TPF (The Penis Flasher) messaged me the other day while I was at work. In a fairness, I didn’t really mind, when his mind isn’t on his penis he’s easy to talk to and we have a bit of a laugh. The problem is his mind doesn’t stay off his penis for long and this was no exception.

The shorten version of events is he wanted to meet up at 06:30 after I finished work but before he started for “have some fun”. Now crazy brain or not, this wasn’t happening and I’ll explain why.

Let’s start with the fact I’m not the easy, I take a little wooing…or at least a few drinks. I’m not about to meet up with anyone in broad day and just fuck them, that isn’t my style.

Now let’s talk about the time frame. This is a guy I haven’t kissed, haven’t touched, haven’t spent any time with outside of work, and he’s allocated a 30 minute window at best…I don’t want to sleep with anybody whose start to finish is 30 minutes or less, I’m after an orgasm not a pizza.

With that said, at some point I predict I will give in and the "fuck it" side of my brain will win and I’ll tell you why. There is definitely no relationship to be had there, so in a way makes it’s safe. I won’t be working at the same location as him soon so if things go bad, I don’t have to see him. And as much as my brain knows better, he makes me laugh and we all know funny guys have a habit of clouding my better judgement.

That said, he breaks one of my golden rules of safe sex, which we know is condoms, birth control and a reasonable chance the guy I'm sleeping with is shooting blanks. TPF has a kid, which by all rights should disqualify him, but given how bad an idea this is, hell what’s an another one.

Anyways, I am going to go and get drunk because clearly sober me is making bad life choices and at least if I’m drunk I can’t drive making it much harder to act on those choices. But before I go I have this question for you; why do we do thing that we know will end badly? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Past Rumour

Two new starters at work have had me on edge recently. They use to work with me 3 years ago at not my last job, but the one before. I have no issue with them themselves, what I do have a problem with is the gossip they may possess.

If you remember about a year ago, I was texted in the middle of the night with the news there was a rumour going around my old job about me. To be precise, there were two contradictory rumors going around about me  

It didn’t bother me too much at the time, yes I was pissed off, but at the end of the day I didn’t work with any of them anymore, so what did I care what they were saying. Plus in my head, I knew the negative rumour was bullshit, the man was mathematically outnumbered at the end of the day.

Let’s get to the rumour because I know you’re dying for the gossip. I don’t know if you remember, creepy dirty talk/ baby talk guy? I don’t actually remember what I called him in the blog, well, he somehow ended up working for my previous employer and he ended up going into detail with the girls in the office about what happened sexually between us. He basic called me bad lay. CM, in my defense told creepy guy, he must have been the problem because I was the best fuck he’s ever had. So you can imagine…. People started talking.

For the record, the sex between me and creepy was god awful. He made me super uncomfortable. I’m not sure dirty talk in a creepy voice does it for any girl, but seeing as I don’t like dirty talk anyways, the whole thing was just bad.  

Which is a life lesson for any guy reading this; make sure your girl feels comfortable and you’ll get much better sex out of the deal.

Now, let’s straighten something out here, because as you know my reputation is everything to me, and that’s why these two new starters have me worried. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. I didn’t sleep with/date any of these guys while we worked together. I dated creepy 5 months after he left my last employer. I dated CM 3 months after I left the company we worked together at and the mathematical tie breaker I slept with over a year after I left the company.

So there was a 3^rd guy, Mr. Tiebreaker, however, he was a one time deal and he understands privacy so kept his damn mouth shut in all this. That said, he did say I was a good lay at the time. Which was surprising because everything up to the sex was great, but…. He was huge…. That’s why it was a one time thing. I wanted no part of that thing again, but that’s a story for another day. But knowing what he had said did give me the confidence at the time to let the rumour slide. I knew creepy was just bitter.

The problem is I knew he was bitter, but nobody else does. And knowing how drivers gossip….I’m worried. I don’t need to be labelled anything, let alone a whore or a slut or a bad fuck or a great fuck… which is almost worse.

It just goes to prove you need to be careful who you sleep with, because your sexual history will come back to bite you sooner or later. But I guess if a rumour is my only problem, I’m doing pretty well. I suppose, that brings us to the question of the blog; what was the last rumour you heard about yourself? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe…… and by safe I mean, wear a condom and don’t make babies!

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Stress

Over recent months, I haven’t dealt with stress very well. A great example of this is after my last shift this week, I came home and drank a pint…. Of tequila. Admittedly, it worked, once the hangover pasted I felt a lot better and haven’t thought about work since but it’s not the healthiest way to deal with things.

One of my favourite and ways I find most effective to de-stress is to write. I find it very therapeutic. I just sit down a bleed for lack of a better word. By the time I’m done, I’m drained but feel so much better for it. It gives me great insight into what’s going on inside my head and normally by the time I’m done, I have fairly good clue on what action I need to take to fix things.

One of the other things I do is surround myself with bees. It’s an animal I look to for strength. I tend to do this when I’m feeling mentally weak and drained. I tend to look to pandas on the other hand when I need comforting or reassurance.

Smells are another way I de-stress. There is almost always a wax tart burning somewhere in my home. They have the ability to evoke memories and take you away. I tend to burn “Soft Blanket” when I’m stressed, there’s just something about it reminds me of my childhood and makes me feel instantly better.

Now, my problem is I know how to de-stress in a fairly healthy way, yet I suck at actually doing it. I love to write, but sex and relationships are my niche so when the topic falls outside of that I tend not to write. I suck at walking away when I need to, so actually finding 5 minutes to call upon the bee for strength when I need to, rarely happens. And I can’t really burn wax tarts at work that method is only helpful when I’m at home.

The plus I have right now is a couple of my colleagues are pretty good at reading me and if I start taking their concern as a hint I should be able to walk away regroup and not get to the point where my manager is calling me at home.

Anyways, I am going to go and edit this and crack on with a couple more pieces I need to finish before I head back into work Sunday. But before I go, I have this question of you; what do you do to de-stress? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Random Thought

Last night confirmed just how random my brain truly is. I was at work last debating the “evils” of makeup when I was getting slightly fucked off, with the lack of give and take in the debate. In my frustration, my brain went to the strangest place ever.

The thought in my head, I kid you not was; “I wish I was dating him so I could fuck him and shut him up”. I’m sure that’s not normal! But I’m a night shift worker so normal isn’t really my specialty.

I was sitting there thinking, he must get laid all the time when he’s dating someone, because even I had that grab him by the face, kiss him and shut him the fuck up urge. And I’m mad at him.

Now, let it be said, I’m a fan of angry sex anyways. That is how my fights end up.  Call me strange, but I’d rather fuck my partner stupid then get arrested for punching him stupid. It’s just common sense to me.

I’ve also, over the years, had more than one fuckfriend I couldn’t stand being around so I might just be weird. Out the bedroom wanted them dead, in the bedroom some of the best sex I’ve ever had. And a fantastic stress reliever too, I might add.

I’m just failing to understand my brain right now, I’d understand with these thoughts were based on some form of sexual desire but they’re not. They are purely based in a “this man needs to stop talking now” desire.

I’m not really sure where the logic is there, surely there are better ways to shut him. I’d suggest shoving his head in my boobs, but he’s not a boob man so that would be lost on him. I could duct tape his mouth, but he’d talk right through that. OK, I can’t think of any better ways…. But I’m sure there are some.

I think that is going to be your question of the blog; what is a better way to shut Larry up? Let me know in the comment box below. I am going to go and debate whether sex is every truly a solution. So as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo 

Awkward Touch

I am did promise daily posts again this week, and I hate letting you guys down so despite have absolutely nothing to say, here a post.

That in itself is actually a good thing, things are back to normal at work. My body language seems to have fixed itself, I’m not feeling awkward at all. It almost feels normal. The only tiny problem is I appear to be scared to touch Larry. That normal interaction feels super awkward and unlike at the old place where I could stand and lean on Justin or give a patronizing hug…. I can’t do that here.

Anyways, I need to go get ready for work. Sorry this post is so short. But we shall talk later. Before I go, I have this question for you; what makes you feel awkward? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Awkward

It would appear my “The Story of Larry” post did its job, I actually feel better. My mind doesn’t feel like a shaken snow globe anymore. I almost feel like me again…. Almost. I still feel a little awkward, but that might be for another reason.

I had a “fuck it” moment and gave up my URL to Larry. Actually, what happened was Mr. X messaged me, I took that as a sign and now he’s a one of my readers. That sounds just as bad written out as it does in my head. I’m comforted by the fact Mr. X handled it so well, proving it is at least possible for it not to go up in flames.

Last night was my first time seeing him since everything and to his credit he seemed alright. His body language was a little off, but mine was on the different planet so I can’t talk. I think the worst part is thanks to script writing and acting classes I’m painfully aware it’s off… and I still can’t fix it. Luckily I managed to keep myself busy so at least I could hide a lot of the awkwardness.

Tonight on the other hand is going to be a test; one I don’t like the odds of me passing. I have Larry and Pippi together to deal with. I’ll be honest, the thought of that is keeping me awake. To be fair, it’s more not knowing how I’ll react that’s stressing me. Since I don’t know how I feel, my reaction is surprise to everyone…including me, which is a fucking nightmare. At least I can brace myself if I know I’m likely to react. This, this is a guessing game…… and I don’t like games.

Anyways, I’m going to go and pounder over a comment I received about a theory on why I was clueless regarding my feelings for Larry. I shall report on that one. But before I go I have this question for you; Will Larry reading my blog end badly for me? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo