Life Lesson 384

Trying to write a blog; while on muscle relaxants and painkillers is a complete waste of time.

I woke up this morning to something I can only assume was my attempt at blogging last night. I’m fairly certain most of it wasn’t in English and I’m positive the “pink squidgy marshmallow man” I was writing about is actually my Animal pillow. At least I hope it is.

I’m a little hazy on the details of last night but my back feels much less evil today, so, cheer to the “pink squidgy marshmallow man” I guess lol

What is the last event in your life that you’re a little hazy about? Let me know in the comment box below and while you’re at it what else could “pink squidgy marshmallow man” be? As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Am I Lucky?

I just finished reading my blogging bestie’s latest post and it left me with a strange and somewhat disturbing thought......

Am I lucky to have had Mr. X?

Her version of Mr. X (Mr. M) recently discovered her blog, and well....he wasn’t a fan. He basically reverted back to being a small child and stopped speaking her; which is possibly the biggest fear among bloggers everywhere.

The fear isn’t that they’ll read our inner most thoughts; the fear is they won’t understand that it’s our thoughts. The fear is they'll read it as fact, black and white, when it’s actually part of our process to work things out. The female brain is a confusing place at the best of times and blogging is a way to unconfuse it. We write about what we feel and what we feel changes, involves, it’s not us being “mean” it’s us trying to balance the sane and crazy parts of our brains.

Mr. X understood that, he understood women talk and need to blow off steam; and for me, my blog is the place I do that. In a strange way Mr. X liked my blog, unlike most women, he knew what I was thinking and what I had to say when he wasn’t around. He took my blog for what it is, my crazy brain exploding in word form.

Her Mr. M didn’t get it; he was offended by her words, which makes no sense to me; blogging isn’t really your words, it’s your thoughts and feelings; people think not nice thoughts all day long. There is a disconnect (for most people) between the things you think and the things you say. There is a filter (or so I hear) that stops people saying things that might offend others. Blogging is like routine maintenance on that filter  It’s a way to clean it so one day it doesn’t snap and you start saying things that will land you in trouble. Mr. M; like lots of men doesn’t understand that.

Which leads me back to the question that started it all; “am I lucky to have had Mr. X?”

I have no answer for that question; right now it’s just crazy and sane fighting it out in my head so I shall leave you guys with this; why do you blog and does it complicate your relationships?

As always stay and play safe,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Too Much Truth

A few nights ago the girls and I got together for a gossip session and during our chat they decided it was time for me to start dating again and I actually agree with them for a change. I’ve been single for a record amount of time and I’m ready to start looking again.

However we didn’t agree on everything. We were split on whether or not I should tell prospective boyfriends I’m a blogger or not.

Obviously If I found myself in a serious relationship I would tell him. That’s not the question. Everyone I blog about regularly knows; Evil Monkey, NTB, Mr. X they all know and even read my blog.

The question is at what point do I have to tell them?

If I wait too long to tell someone it sets a bad tone for the relationship. It comes off like I wasn’t being forthcoming. To combat that problem some of the girl suggested I tell the guy from the start I’m a blogger but don’t give him my URL. I’m not really sure that makes it any better. That’s still not being very forthcoming.

One of the girls said it’s best not to say anything at all. And I see where she’s coming from but if a guy comes across it on his own, things are going to get messy fast. So I’m not sure how smart that idea is.

The rest of the girls said I should just tell any guy I meet straight up from the start. That has one big flaw in my book. Can you really get to know someone if they’re always in the back of their mind, wondering what you’re going to write about them? I honestly don’t know if that’s possible.

People worry about their image and if they know you’re likely to post something, good or bad, be it now or 5 years down the line, they may not be so willing to let their walls down and show the real them.

Because I write a mix of current life and past relationships it’s hard for anyone to know what may find its way into my blog and when. I use this method because I like to leave a gap between a breakup and me insulting them. I find the longer I wait the less they care what I write. But I could see that being a problem for a new boyfriend. Nobody likes hearing about their girlfriend’s exes and then you have the problem that if I don’t write about him, he's wondering if he’s not special enough to be written about.

It’s a strange position to be in and the whole thing hurts my head. So what do you guys think? Should I tell a prospective boyfriend I’m blogger and if so when? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always my dears stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Forced Holiday

I’m back.

I guess I should start by explaining my disappearing act. There isn’t actually much to tell. I was order by my doctor to take a few weeks off and relax.

He gave me this order, well; he actually didn’t give it to me, he gave it to my mom. Yes that’s right my mom. The doctor went over my head and gave it to my mom leaving me no choice in the matter.

He gave the order for two main reasons. The first is since my MRI I’ve been having panic attacks. Which my doctor says is due to stress. 18 doctors appointment in the first 4 months of 2012 will do that to a person. The second reason was my back was spasming and I had an appointment with a new doctor coming up. It was very likely at that first appointment he was going to do injections in my back which apparently is very hard to do when the back is spasming.

At first I wasn't a fan of these orders, I had things I needed to do and nobody was letting me do them. My mom actually went so far as to, hide my netbook and steal my PC keyboard. Charming I know.

After one final panic attack it became very clear I was taking this forced holiday whether I liked it or not and I should stop wasting my energy and just go with it.

I’m weird with panic attacks; I’m a very sane crazy person. I lay with my back against the wall looking at my door, because it stops that somebody is going to come up behind me and stab me feeling. As I’m lying there I’m thinking this is fucking crazy. My room is on the ground floor and at the front of the house, surely the window would be my biggest problem not the door. Like I said I’m a sane crazy person.

Despite the fact I thought I felt fine before my forced holiday I have to admit now my doctor was right. Even though it took me the best part of my time off to actually relax once I did, I could really feel the difference and as an added plus was my neck and back weren’t feeling so tight.

Or at least they weren’t until I met my new doctors yesterday, who I can safely say beat the living shit out of my back. I guess the upside is they decided, at least for now, they aren’t going to do any injections. Thank god for that. I’ve been under that fluoroscope so many times I think my ovaries are starting to glow in the dark.

After getting double teamed by two doctors yet again today, and let me add not in the good way, I’ve been given the green light to end my forced holiday. So I should be resuming my regular blogging schedule as of....now.

And if you ask me it’s not a second too soon, I’ve missed blogging. As always my dears stay safe,

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

I didn't know

Anyone who chooses to have a relationship with a blogger has to be a special type of person. Not just because every detail of your relationship is liable to be posted online, the good and the bad. But you can never use the line “I didn’t know.”

You’d think it would be easier for guys. Nobody is asking them to read between the lines like in many relationships, all they have to do is read.

Shame it never seems to work that way.

They either get whinny and bitchy about what you wrote, missing the whole point and demanding you take down the post “right this second”. Or they play dumb and say they didn’t know the post was about them.

Are you kidding me? How does a person read events that they experienced and not know it’s about them? That boggles my mind. There is no way on earth they can actually be that dumb....is there?

Nothing infuriates me more than when a guy plays dumb. You may not give a shit and that’s fair enough but don’t insult my intelligence by playing dumb, I’m not buying it.

For that reason I give Mr. X a lot of credit. He may not have given a shit when I was upset but he always knew I was and why. He didn’t care but he never played dumb about it either. I respect that.

So I guess the question is do you play dumb and if so why? Or do you call it like you see it even if it might hurt someone’s feelings?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo