The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Sabotage

I’m going to do something that I would never recommend anybody in their right mind do. I’m going to tell Mr. Block I’m a blogger. I do have a reason for doing it, however, I’m pretty sure my self-rationalisation is utter bullshit and the true reason is sabotage.  

My thought is if I can be completely honest with him from the start about my blogging, and he can accept it, I should be able to overlook the age thing. The problem being he won’t be able to accept it, no guy can, so this is just my way of writing him off without having to be the bad guy or looking petty because I can’t get over the fact he’s a crummy 7 days my junior.

Admittedly the age thing isn’t my only problem with Mr. Block so I could justify fleeing the situation, however, I was willing to overlook them and give him a chance before I found out he was a child, so surely if I flee now, there really is no saving face.

I know this whole thing sounds crazy, but deep down aren’t we all a little crazy? I’m just more upfront about my craziness than most. I also know what I’m doing couldn’t possibly end well for me, but I guess if I’m going to go down, I may as well go down in flames.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and watch the world burn, but before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what little thing flips your crazy switch on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Why Did I Ask?

There are some questions you just shouldn’t ask when you know there’s a possible you won’t like the answer and I made the horrible mistake of asking one of those questions last night… and shock horror I really didn't like the answer.

Age has always been a big hang up for me, it’s been a deal breaker in the past. I just don’t date men who are younger than me. It’s so bad, I've developed this subconscious filter, which tends to weed out younger men before I even know what’s going on. I won’t know why at first, but my brain will throw up a random red flag that will just eat at me. 9 times out of 10 it'll turn out that the flag was because he’s younger than me.

Admittedly Mr. Block has thrown up some red flags, but I assumed that was down mainly to him and the whole blocking fiasco. So when the gay husband bet me a beer that he was younger than me, I didn't think twice about taking that bet. I sent him a message and didn't give it another thought. About 2 hours later, he sent me a message back, I wish I never opened. It turns out the gay husband was right and Mr. Block is indeed younger than me. Be it only by 7 days, but that’s more than enough to awaken the crazy in me.

I know it’s weird, and a little crazy, but it bugs me and it’s left me in a strange place because I really wanted to give him a fair chance despite everything but with this new information I’m not sure I can.

Let me say this again, I know it’s weird, but you wouldn't be here if I was normal now would you?

Anyways, I'm going to go and try and shut up my brain and try and work out what I want, if anything. But before I go I'm going to leave you with this question; does age matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxoxo

All I Want For Christmas Is You

When you’re at work at 1 o’clock in the morning and answer the phone to two blokes singing “all I want for Christmas is you”, I’m pretty sure a normal person’s reaction isn’t to put them on speaker phone, wait for them to finish and then come out with “If you’re trying to woo me, the least you can do is sing in tune.” But I never claimed to be normal. Plus, working in the environment I do, any other response just wouldn’t have been acceptable.

But things like that are why I love working nights, it’s also why I haven’t completely written off Mr. Block yet, if a guy is willing to serenade you down the phone the least you can do is give him a chance. How many guys do you know that would be willing to do that?

I’ve always said the way to my heart is through laughter and he sure as hell made me laugh with that stunt. Actually, him and his minion are always making me laugh; without them I probably would have quit my job a long time ago. I had an interview the other day and part of me hopes I don’t get it because I’d miss them too much. Is that weird?

Anyways, I’m going to go and get some Christmas wrapping done and try and make the most of my time off because if I do get the new job I won’t have as much of it. But before I go I want to leave you with this question; what is the key to winning over your heart? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Bipolar Relationship

So despite my better judgement things with Mr. Block continues; and I can’t decide at this point whether I’m truly interested or if I’m a woman on a mission to find out what he’s hiding. It changes by the minute; half the time I want to cuddle up to him and spend a romantic evening and the other half I want to punch the creep in the face. The whole relationship is kind of bipolar.

I tried to feel him out in the conversation, and I do feel like I know him a little better now but it’s a work in progress. I did learn he’s been single 6 months and he says (like all men do when asked) that he’s after a relationship or to quote him directly “I’m ready to find someone to hold and enjoy life with”.  Call me a sucker, but I melted a little when I read that.

However, I’m not stupid, my guard is still up. I mean the man did block me. And there are other red-ish flags, he invited me over, which sounds sweet, but he knew I’d be working so either the thought was there and it’s sweet or it was just a gesture because he knew I couldn’t. And then when we finished our incredibly sweet conversation he said he’d message me when he was up. He messaged me at midnight; I messaged him back and didn’t hear from him again for 24 hours. So take that as you will, he did message me, he kept his word, but then he vanished leaving me more confused than ever.

I just don’t know what to make of him, and as we all remember from the Mr. X saga I don’t do well when I don’t know. I’m also having to bear in mind I work with this guy so whatever I do I have to do it in an adult way…. I don’t want to be an adult.

Anyways, my dears, I’m off to make some more poor decisions and see where this twisted tale leads me. But before I do I want to leave you with a question; have you ever made a decision you thought was bad that turned out to be good? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

A Victory for Alcohol

So the other night while out celebrating the launch of thehonestbitch.com I kind of did something you’re not meant to do, I drunkenly tweeted Mr. Block. The message simply said “You’re such a dick” but it was enough to get the ball rolling.

However, something very confusing happened during that conversation, he gave me his number. Why would you give your number to someone you blocked? I still don’t understand that move… but sometimes there just is no understanding men.

We managed to talk things out, or at least it appears we did, I was well and truly smashed at the time. He even unblocked me. Which I think counts as a victory for alcohol.

However, that didn’t last long, the tool followed up the next morning by unfriending me. I’m starting to think Mr. X is right and he’s hiding something. What, I don’t know, but something is off.

I sent Mr. Block a friend request because I was curious and yes, I know, curiosity killed the cat and all that, but I’m a blogger and the story wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t (how do you like that excuse?)

The strange thing is he accepted straight away so I’m well and truly confused now. And despite the fact, every fiber of my being is telling me to run, the blogger in me wants to see how the story plays out….. With me in tears I’m sure, but you never know, right?

Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and while you’re there, let me know the last time curiosity burned you. I’m off to get some much needed sleep, so as always my dears, stay, and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo