New Year's Resolutions

It would appear January and I don’t get along very well, last year I didn’t manage a single post in January and this year we’re well into week 2 and this is my first post. I’ve already managed to fail 2 or my 3 New Year’s resolutions so 2015 is off to a fantastic start.

The first resolution I managed to fail at 10 seconds into the New Year. It was be less quick to anger, however, when the fireworks at midnight, woke up this sleeping bitch that went straight out the window.

The second one was to post my Facebook question of the day, every day; luckily Facebook has made it possible to cheat the resolution back insistence, so be sure to check out my Facebook page (like my shameless plug?)

My third and final one is to post a minimum of 8 blog posts a month. With a little work on my part that one is still possible, however, my week and a half off is going to make it a little tricky.

I don’t know what it is about this time of the year, but it seems to be out to get me. I’ll explain what happened this year at a later date, but let’s just say work was bad enough I was drunk for 4 days straight.

Anyways, my dears, I off to get some much needed sleep… I think I’m still hungover, and before you ask, yes, it was that bad. But before I go, I want to leave you with this question, what are your New Year’s resolutions and how are you getting on with them? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Christmas Eve History

If you’ve been here a while, you may remember Mr. X’s Christmas Eve spectacular; and if you’re new here I shall give you a brief synopsis. Christmas Eve 2009 Mr. X turned me into the bitch I am now. He told me he had feelings for me and there was something there. And then less than an hour later he decided he “just couldn’t” and vanished.

I’m not going to lie, that fucked me up….badly and years down the line I still carry those scars but at the same time I’m very grateful. That gave me a lot of strength and that was never more evident than last night when Mr. Block sent me a message that was flat out wrong and very low.

From what I can gather he was out drinking and he sent me this message “Come on it’s time to fuck me or leave me alone xx”. Before Mr. X that message would have had me tears, but now that message just enraged me. On what planet is that an acceptable thing to say to anyone, let alone to say to someone on Christmas Eve?

Now I could be over reacting given the day of the year and it’s not so pleasant history but I don’t think I am. I also think, if that’s the game he’s going to play, he can go die a slow painful death. I’m after an adult relationship and he keeps proving himself to be a child. And I’m just not interested in that.

Anyways, it’s Christmas so that's enough of that; I’m going to go and spend time with people who love me for me and not just for my vagina. But before I do, I shall leave you with a question; on what planet is that message acceptable? Let me know your thoughts in the comment below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Story of the Gay Husband

A few of you have been asking questions about the gay husband so I thought I take a minute to tell you the story. I’m pretty sure it’s up somewhere on my blog already, but I’ll be damned if I can find it so I shall tell it again.

Dave AKA my gay husband, and I met about 12 years ago in college, but we didn’t become close until roughly 8 years ago when we randomly bumped into each other at a pub close to my close to my house, we got talking and haven’t shut up since.

As to why I refer to him as my gay husband that has to do with when we use to go out drinking together. Every time a guy would hit on me, Dave would come over and introduce himself as my husband. And once that happened you’ve never seen men move so fast. So to counteract that, I started beating him to the punch-line and introducing him as my gay husband, which still scared off a few men, but not nearly as many. And after that the term just stuck. It’s stuck so much he’s been known to call me his straight wife or to quote him directly “my straight wife that likes penis almost as much as I do”. Charming, I know.

Anyways, my dears, that is the story behind why I call Dave my gay husband and it’s not nearly as explicit has some of you thought. I am off to try and find my Christmas spirit, but before I go I’ll leave you with this question; what nicknames do you have for your friends? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Sabotage

I’m going to do something that I would never recommend anybody in their right mind do. I’m going to tell Mr. Block I’m a blogger. I do have a reason for doing it, however, I’m pretty sure my self-rationalisation is utter bullshit and the true reason is sabotage.  

My thought is if I can be completely honest with him from the start about my blogging, and he can accept it, I should be able to overlook the age thing. The problem being he won’t be able to accept it, no guy can, so this is just my way of writing him off without having to be the bad guy or looking petty because I can’t get over the fact he’s a crummy 7 days my junior.

Admittedly the age thing isn’t my only problem with Mr. Block so I could justify fleeing the situation, however, I was willing to overlook them and give him a chance before I found out he was a child, so surely if I flee now, there really is no saving face.

I know this whole thing sounds crazy, but deep down aren’t we all a little crazy? I’m just more upfront about my craziness than most. I also know what I’m doing couldn’t possibly end well for me, but I guess if I’m going to go down, I may as well go down in flames.

Anyways, my dears, I’m going to go and watch the world burn, but before I do, I shall leave you with this question; what little thing flips your crazy switch on? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Why Did I Ask?

There are some questions you just shouldn’t ask when you know there’s a possible you won’t like the answer and I made the horrible mistake of asking one of those questions last night… and shock horror I really didn't like the answer.

Age has always been a big hang up for me, it’s been a deal breaker in the past. I just don’t date men who are younger than me. It’s so bad, I've developed this subconscious filter, which tends to weed out younger men before I even know what’s going on. I won’t know why at first, but my brain will throw up a random red flag that will just eat at me. 9 times out of 10 it'll turn out that the flag was because he’s younger than me.

Admittedly Mr. Block has thrown up some red flags, but I assumed that was down mainly to him and the whole blocking fiasco. So when the gay husband bet me a beer that he was younger than me, I didn't think twice about taking that bet. I sent him a message and didn't give it another thought. About 2 hours later, he sent me a message back, I wish I never opened. It turns out the gay husband was right and Mr. Block is indeed younger than me. Be it only by 7 days, but that’s more than enough to awaken the crazy in me.

I know it’s weird, and a little crazy, but it bugs me and it’s left me in a strange place because I really wanted to give him a fair chance despite everything but with this new information I’m not sure I can.

Let me say this again, I know it’s weird, but you wouldn't be here if I was normal now would you?

Anyways, I'm going to go and try and shut up my brain and try and work out what I want, if anything. But before I go I'm going to leave you with this question; does age matter? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxoxo

All I Want For Christmas Is You

When you’re at work at 1 o’clock in the morning and answer the phone to two blokes singing “all I want for Christmas is you”, I’m pretty sure a normal person’s reaction isn’t to put them on speaker phone, wait for them to finish and then come out with “If you’re trying to woo me, the least you can do is sing in tune.” But I never claimed to be normal. Plus, working in the environment I do, any other response just wouldn’t have been acceptable.

But things like that are why I love working nights, it’s also why I haven’t completely written off Mr. Block yet, if a guy is willing to serenade you down the phone the least you can do is give him a chance. How many guys do you know that would be willing to do that?

I’ve always said the way to my heart is through laughter and he sure as hell made me laugh with that stunt. Actually, him and his minion are always making me laugh; without them I probably would have quit my job a long time ago. I had an interview the other day and part of me hopes I don’t get it because I’d miss them too much. Is that weird?

Anyways, I’m going to go and get some Christmas wrapping done and try and make the most of my time off because if I do get the new job I won’t have as much of it. But before I go I want to leave you with this question; what is the key to winning over your heart? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo