The Obligatory Tyler Update

I’ve been out of the blogosphere for roughly 3 months, so I know you guys would like a Tyler update, since it was my most popular request before I vanished.

Not a whole lot to catch you up on really. He is still a sweetie and the best work husband a girl could ask for. He is still one of the only reason I make it through some shifts without completely snapping. Definitely still the only voice of reason I listen to… most of the time.

However, that’s it. He is not interested. And I hate to put this out there, but I’ve been questioning for a while whether he may be asexual. Please, don’t for a second think this is an ego thing. It’s not his lack of interest in me that is making me question, it’s his lack of interest in anyone. When we talk, he often mentions not getting married or having a family or any relationship at all. He says he fine dying alone. He never comments that a girl is pretty or hot, or guys for that matter. When you ask him about celebrity crushes, he changes the subject. I don’t really know the story, but it makes me wonder.

Anyways, now that I have broken your hearts, I am off, to hopefully write 2 more blog posts because I have a lot to say, this 3 months off has made me chatty. As always you lovely people, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

Xoxo 

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I Am Back

Hey Strangers, it has been a while, I know. Apologies for dropping off the face of the Earth for a few months, but life got a little too real and writing made it more real. I just couldn’t handle more real, real was bad enough.

 Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’re aware there’s a pandemic going on. The world is crazy right now. Those of you who has been around for a while know my mom is sick. She is classified as “clinically extremely vulnerable” and has been ordered to “shield”.

In a cruel turn of fate, I am classified as essential worker. Working in transport, apparently, I am critical to the supply chain. I had a lot of guilt about this. I was going to work, day in day out possibly getting exposed and coming home and potentially passing god knows what on to my mom. I thought for many months, I was going to be the thing or reason my mom died. It was a lot to handle and I wasn’t doing the best job of handling it. That’s for sure. But I am in a better place with everything now. I just needed some time to work out a “new normal” and luckily so far, no virus.

I have a lot to catch you up on over the next few posts, so make sure you come every Friday to hear all the gossip. You guys have been amazing through this. Thank you for hanging around and all your concern. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

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All Done

So, my holiday is coming to end, and I’m both ready and dreading it. I’m missing chatting with Tyler and the guys in the office, but I am heading back to change, and nobody knows how what is going to happen. I’m also heading back not having achieved what I planned with my time off. I’m not too mad about that though, I needed a little chill time. Wish I had played more sims, but I was kidding myself that I was going to get stuff done.

I am going to keep this post nice and short as frankly I want to go and have a nap and we shall be back to business as usually next week. As always you pretty people, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Nothing To Write About

This holiday from work is going too fast, and I’ve both done nothing and too much. Everything is sorted for my new bed that is coming tomorrow. I’m going to hurt tomorrow, but at least everything major is done. But I haven’t managed to get any studying in, which I really wanted to focus on this week. I guess you win some and loss some.

I am also really missing Tyler this week. I haven’t been very people person-ish this week and despite this I do need to talk and communicate once in a while and he’s one of the few people I don’t want to stab with something sharp.

Anyways, I am heading to bed, its been a long day and I am starting to get sore already. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Charming

There is an interesting side effect from living on the opposite side of the planet from most of your family. It’s when family members die, you don’t instantly feel grief, you get pissed off. It’s a strange coping mechanism or maybe it’s just human nature. You see when you live on the opposite side of the planet you don’t find out about deaths in a normal nature, you find our on social media. And then you get mad, really fucking mad.

My Aunt Joan died a couple of days ago, she’s one of the only people on my mom’s biological side of the family I actually liked. I spent summers there, she held the family Christmas party every year. She was one the only good people on that side of the family. And as you can guess I found out she died on fucking Facebook. Got to love family, right.

Anyways I am on holiday this week, and I am sober, so I need to go fix that. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Plans

Am I the only person that finds having a plan or long-term commitments stressful? Don’t get me wrong, I have a loose plan, I have an end goal, but a step-by-step plan or commitment past the next 7 ish day, stress me the hell out.

I think it has something to do with me not liking to let people or myself down. I know where I am now, mentally, physically, but 1 month, 2 months for now who knows. And I hate to back down, so I know from experience I’ll just push myself and do that I said even though it may not be what’s best for me.

Anyways you pretty people, I am off to go and study because sooner or later I will be that fucking time off work to do my course. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Happy Valentine’s Days

Happy Valentine’s Days you beautiful people. I hope you’re all have a fabulous day and none of you are letting the BS of the day get you down. Just remember today is about love, not relationships, so show yourself a little self-love. Do something you enjoy, spend some time just focusing on you. 

Relationships are all well and good, but the only one that truly matters is the relationship you have with yourself.

As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

I Miss Tyler

I hate to admit this, but I am missing Tyler. We haven’t been as chatty as normal, and I’m feeling the impact. He brings calm, light heartedness to most situations and without that, my people battery is going flat a lot quicker than I’m used to.

It pains me to admit I might actually need him, or any person for that matter, but it would appear that I do…I don’t like this.

Considering I hate most people and can barely tolerate the rest, I find it a horrible inconvenience that I might actually need another human. It’s not something I do. And, frankly, it feels wrong. But I guess it’s ok. I mean everyone needs someone sometimes?

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, I need to flip back to night mode for work tomorrow. But before I do, I have this question for you. Does it bother you to need to lean on someone? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Changing up the plan

Thanks to a lack of holiday approval I’m having to shake up my plan and even as I write this, I’m not sure the change will work since I’m still lacking approve. I put my holiday request in in November and still nothing… feel like it would be easier to get a new job at this point. That said, my new aim, since the course I wanted to do is now full, is to do my CPC in June.

Which isn’t a bad thing, I had fallen behind in studying so this should allow me to get back on track. I have 16 units left to go over and 15 weeks until the course, so I should be able to everything done and fully give myself the best chance to succeed.

Anyways I am off to drink because I am back at work tomorrow and that makes me want to drink. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Slow Going

2020 progress is slow…so slow. I just can’t seem to find motivation. My get up and go, got up and went. And I’m just blah. I wish I could put my finger on why or what’s up, but I am at loss. I know I’m stressed on some level, mainly because my REM sleep is through the roof. Which normally means I’m working through something… I just don’t know what. Too much REM sleep can leave you blah and tired, so everything is likely linked… I just don’t know what the cause is.

All this is quickly becoming boring and I’m longing for the days when I feel good and can actually get shit done.

Anyways its 3am and I am back at work tonight so I need to start getting ready to not sleep when I should and feel like shit for 4 days. Before I go, I’ll leave you with this question what do you do to get motivated? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Mini Tyler Update

A lot of you have been requested a Tyler update and since I can’t think of anything to write about, now seems like a good time to give one.

This is going to be short; this is no update. Nothing has changed, all is the same. Heck, I should have written this post last week when I was running behind. I know Team Tyler is strong and full of hope, but I think you’re alone on that one.

Anyways you pretty people, I am going to go and try and get a little more studying done. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; how is your New Year going. Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Still Not Together

In case you’re wonder, yep my mission to keep my ducks in a row in 2020 is still failing. Hence why this post will be back dated to Friday despite be writing it at midnight on Saturday. One day I will have everything balanced, I swear, but not any time soon from the looks of it.

The other issue I have is, I have nothing to say right now. Dating life is nothing, work is still very much work and all my free time is currently taken up trying to cram for my CPC in March which I may or may not be doing since I can’t get my fucking holiday days approved.

Anyways I have to go, this is day 1 off which is why I am writing so late, sleep happened. Hopefully next week, things will be better…maybe. Love you all, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Starting The Year Off Wrong

Happy New Year! My plan to get my shit together is a failure already, seeing as its Thursday night and I’m just writing this…oops. However, I didn’t want to miss a post so we’re starting 2020 with a throwaway post. Forming habits is the most important thing, at least that’s my belief. It’s like my working out goal from last year. It sucked however it became such a habit, in the end I couldn’t relax until it was done.

Anyways, I am going bed. I finished work this morning which makes today national sleep day. But before I go, I will leave you with this question; what is your New Year’s resolution?  Let me know in the comments below. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Not Christmas

Let me start by saying Merry Christmas, but truth be told I am not fucking feeling it one teeny tiny bit. Christmas this year has been the most nothing day ever. It’s 19:00 and I haven’t left my room since opening presents, not had dinner or any of the normal junk, it’s just a normal day.

I wish I could but my finger on why and figure out what is off about this year. But I can’t. it’s just doesn’t feel like Christmas and I don’t feel like doing chiasmas. Hell, I am grumpy about having people around.

May old single and bitter has finally caught up to me. Anyways I am off to sleep more, and to wait for this day to be over. Hope your day was better than mine. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Not Feeling it

It is 6 days until Christmas, and I hate to say it, but I’m not feeling it at all this year. I didn’t even get the tree up until mid-December. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas and I don’t know why. I’m hoping the holly jolliness will come once I break up from work, but that doesn’t happen until the morning of the 24^th.

Can I just pass on the whole thing this year? Try again next year. Is that a thing?

Sorry this is a super short post, but I feel like death, which isn’t helping the lack of Christmas sprite. I am off to grab a nap and hopefully things will be less spiney when I get up.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Oppps

So, the last post I posted was about me struggling to find balance and the one of the ones before that was about goals… sometimes life tries to test us and sometimes we fail that test, and things go up in flames and it’s not pretty. That’s the current situation.

I may have lost my shit at work Saturday night, walked out and quit. That is a thing that may have happened. I knew I was stressed; I knew I was getting towards the end of my rope… I didn’t know flames were about to happen.

It’s strange, I don’t regret anything. I mean I would have liked to be a little calmer but given the situation I did what I felt I needed to. As for what’s next, I don’t know. I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow, and we will see what’s what. I’m at peace with my decision so I’m not sure what can be said on his part.

Anyways, I am off to finish decorating the tree. As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Balance

I’m struggling to find balance at the moment. I know what I need to get done and I’m doing it, but I seem to have forgotten to allow time to relax and I’m struggling to see where I can even remotely fit it in.

My goal is my CPC, and I have 12 weeks before the course. There are 26 units I need to learn, and I have currently done 6. Math right now isn’t my friends. I need to do 2 units a week, and that’s a struggle, I’ve only managed 1 each of the past 2 weeks. And this doesn’t account for the fact I don’t under one of the units I’ve done. My check for understanding score was laughable. I’m stressed, and I shouldn’t be. I guess the Brightside is my scores on the other units were good.

I need to find balance in this all and I’m just not sure how. I know I will get there, but it needs to be soon. Anyways, I am off to have a nap, as I’m back at work in a few hours, like I said no balance. Leave me your tips on how you managed to balance everything I the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

2020 Dating

A lot of you have asked whether 2020 is going to be the year I start dating again. And, it’s a fair question, it has been a long while since I’ve been in a relationship. That said, I’ve learned a lot in being single so long. Maybe too much because I don’t really miss being in a relationship anymore.

 I’m not sure if 2020 is the year or not. I’m not looking for anything, but I’m not ruling anything out either. It would be nice, don’t get me wrong, but I like being alone, a lot. People are work and it seems like the older I get, the more work they become.

Would I like a relationship, sure, but I’m not sure of the practicality. It’s not the be all or end all. I’m happy as I am. That said, it’s something to think about for sure, and I will. If something pops up awesome, if not I am not going to lose any sleep over it.

Anyways, I’m off. But before I go, I have this question for you; we / are you happy single? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Goals

I know it’s not January yet, so it seems a little premature to discuss goals and making changes and things like that. However, I am not one to play by the rules. Plus, a lot of things I want to talk about are goals I set in January, so this is more of a reflection before moving on.

 In January I set myself 3 areas of focus, the 3 things in my life I had control over, my health, my blog and my job, and now that it’s coming towards the end of the year, looking back, I haven’t done badly.

Health wise, I’ve done a minimum of 20 minutes every day on the treadmill since January 1^st. My weight isn’t going anywhere, but I am feeling better for it. I think I am going to change it up in the new year, but the goal is still 20 minutes a day.

Blog wise; I haven’t missed a week. I have released some rubbish throwaway posts, but I haven’t missed anything. I want to continue that into the new year, hopefully with less throwaway posts. I would love to sort my social media out, but baby steps.

Work is letting me down in the hat trick. I am happier, however, that’s mainly because I no longer care. I have put more of an effort in but haven’t seen much back from that. My goal going into next year is to get my CPC, that will open more door for me and make decision making easier. I’ve already started working towards this goal and hopefully in March I should be able to achieve it. It’s all about focus right now.

Anyways, I am going to go and have dinner, since it is 23:00. But before I go, I have this question for you; what goals have you achieved in 2019? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

I Miss Tyler

Okay, I have to admit something I really don’t want to. It pains me to say it, but I am actually missing Tyler. I’ve been on holiday for 12 days, Tyler was on holiday the 12 before that, so it’s been almost a month since we chatted, and I miss it.

As always, please don’t get any ideas… the dude isn’t into me and as a public service announcement that doesn’t make him a jerk or any of the other things he’s been called lately. He is a lovely human, most of the time, and that’s part of why I’ve missed him.

The other reason being he is the yin to my yang. Or in actual fact the yang to my yin. Yang is the positive masculine side, just in case you ever wondered which side was which. He is very good at balancing me out, actually, I, and others, feel we’re very good at balancing each other out. He is very calm and laid back and I am very “get shit done” and wound, it’s a good combination. And, as it gets busier that balance in needed or crazy happens.

The other reason I am really missing Tyler is we make each other laugh and when you’re laughing work goes so much quicker and it doesn’t feel like work. The week before I broke up, work was work and I missed having that little ability to giggle and make it feel a little better.

Anyways, I am off to enjoy my few remaining days off before I’m forced back to work. But before I go, I will leave you with this question; what makes your job more enjoyable? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Distance

I said a few posts ago, a boyfriend I'd hardly see would suit me nicely. And I thought I'd take this chance to explain what I meant by that.

While I might be in a better place, and open to the idea of dating more than I was. I'm still not perfect and I'm still finding people to be hard work a lot of the time. So in my mind a guy I see once of twice a month sounds like a beautiful compromise. I get some companionship, and maybe I won't die alone. But I still get time to myself to recharge and be less evil. Win, win, right?

The issue is finding someone with a similar mindset to me, and more importantly, finding someone I don't want stab. Let's be honest, that's the difficult bit. I'm not a big fan of people. Most of them are stupid and very hard work. I can count on my fingers the amount of people I actually like. And there's a time limit I can stomach being around even most of them.

Before anyone says it... No. Dudes not into me, this conversation ends here. Okay?

Anyways, I'm off to enjoy my holiday. But, before I go I have this question for you; what is your ideal relationship? Let me know in the comments below. And, as always, stay, and play, safe. 

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

No, no

Why does it seem like everyone is trying to set me up with someone? I know I said I might be ready to start thinking about dating, but I haven’t said those words outside this blog and I really haven’t been giving off any I need to get laid vibes, so, I am not sure what the deal is.

Yes, dating someone sounds nice on paper. And, yes, I am feeling more stable and less emotionally drained and able to give in a relationship. But once again, that does equate to me wanting to be set up with anyone.

Does anyone have any theories on why the sudden interest in me and not being single? Let me know in the comments below, I am off to hide from my phone and people in general. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Dating Rant

Another Thursday, another afternoon spent writing a post I should have written earlier in the week. Like I said, one of these days I will get all my shit together, but right now I’ll have to settle for having bits and pieces of my shit together.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about dating recently. And by a lot, I mean, it’s starting to verge on obvious. So, I thought I’s take this chance to answer your burning questions, and by questions burning questions, I mean, pushy opinions because, there’s no questions, just a lot of people telling whom I should date and or whose penis I should ride.

Tyler isn’t happening. He’s not into me. We are good friends, and I love having him around, but nope. As perfect as I believe having a boyfriend who is 300 miles away is, still nope. That might be a post for another day. For now, the answer is just no.

 Team Mr. X…. Do you hate me? Why are you still a thing? I did my time, it cost me my youth, I may well die alone because of that whole mess. Give it up. Like really, no. That damage was done, repaired, taught me a lot, and gave me strength I never knew I had, but no.

Will I date again? I assume so. I’m not against it. I just need to find a human I don’t hate and that is hard. People as a whole suck.

Anyways, I am going to go and chill out. I would leave a question of the blog, but I have had enough opinions for right now. So just stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Getting There

I keep saying it, but one day I will get crap together and I won’t be sat here on a Thursday writing a post that has to go up in a few hours. I am getting there, slowly. My new normal is becoming just that, normal. I am still not on top of everything like I would like to be, but I am nowhere near as overwhelmed as I was.

I won’t pretend for one second any of this has been easy, I have blog upon blog proving otherwise. I’m just lucky the small circle of people I can stomach are awesome. Even if they have no clue what do when I burst into tears for no apparent reason down the phone at them.

I will get there, and back to my normal, on top of everything self. I’m learning I need to just be patient with myself. Easier said than done.

Anyways, I am off to do my treadmill and try and get something done before I head back to work tomorrow. I shall leave you with this question before I go though, how do you stay on top of everything? Let me know in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

"Special Bond?"

Recently, while working out of another depot a strange comment was made that caught me off guard. The girl I was working with made a comment about how Tyler and I should get together, because “we’re prefect for each other” and we balance each other out. And all I could think is I’ve heard this somewhere before, are my reader putting you up to this?

Clearly not, as she, like everyone else at work, has zero clue my blog is a thing. I just found it so strange how everyday comments from the blogosphere have followed me into real life. And even stranger still, one of the guys from another depot also made a similar comment recently and now I’m a wee bit freaked out.

I understand… short of, where they’re coming from. We do get on well, we can talk for hours on end and he is one of the few people on the planet that I’m yet to find “too peopley”. If you’re anything like me, you’ll understand that sentence, if not, there’s no explaining that one. That said, I’m not so sure about this alleged “special bond” we have, I think some people are grasping at straws.

Anyways, I’m going to leave this with you and let you chime in, “special bond” or just a person I don’t want to stab? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And, as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Ducks AWOL

Sometimes I think I’m finally starting to get my ducks back in a row, and other times I’m writing a blog post on my phone at work last minute because I choose sleep over getting my crap together. This week it’s more of the latter.

I’m finally starting to feel more like me again, but it doesn’t make getting everything done any easier.

Hopefully this is a lesson learned, and next week I’ll be back to scheduling as normal. Because I go I will leave you with this question; what do you do to keep your ducks in a row. Let me know in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo 

Play The Game

Once in a blue moon I like to play the game. Keep people on their toes. This week I choose to do that. This week I am working 7 days, why you ask? Aren’t you normally the girl that tells management to fuck off? Of course, I am, but occasionally the game suits me, so I play.

You see, we are working on October’s wages right now. Meaning the following month is November. In November comes our Christmas bonuses. Since that has to be managing director approved that stuff is all finalized in October. Putting a good foot forward goes along right now. Since my reviews always contain a comment that I don’t do overtime. I am hoping “my change of heart” will be rewarded.

Sometimes being a bitch 99% of the time pays off, because when you’re nice its most memorable. Anyways, I am off to get some sleep. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo