Not Feeling 2019

Happy new year, you beautiful people. I wish I was starting this year in my normal happy, cheery way. I typicality live for the holiday season, It’s my favourite time of year. But I am not going to lie, this year it’s been tough. As much as I try to put a smile on and pretend everything is fine…It’s not and it’s likely not going to be.

We found out not long before Christmas my mom has a clot in her fistula and she’ll need surgery, again. Her latest tests showed her kidney function is down to 8 percent. She’s putting on a brave face, like always, but I can tell she’s scared. And I’m trying to only fall apart when I’m alone. Which is how I spent most of Christmas because my ability to hold things together seems to be on holiday.

On top of everything with my mom, my step dad’s mom has been a bloody nightmare for the past week. She has a chest infection and she keeps calling 999 saying she’s having chest pain. They’ve admitted her 5 times in 6 days. She does have a little dementia from a stroke she had, but she also has attention issues and we can’t figure out which one is the problem. I personally think it’s a cry for attention. Before you say anything, she looked after we go in once a day for 3 hours and a carer goes in once a day for 3 years. The issue is when someone gets more attention than her, she starts to play up. And since my mom has been unwell shockingly, she thinks she needs to be in hospital.

And to add to everything, I am just feeling alone. I don’t mind being single, I’ve had my fill of dating drama and I just can’t do that anymore. But, once in a blue moon it gets to me and I am assuming since I already felt like shit, my emotions were like, why not throw one more thing on and see what happens? The answer is I cry, and I sleep. I sleep because I can’t break down when I am asleep, it’s my safe place.

This just hasn’t been a good holiday season, hell, it’s not been a good year and I have little hope that 2019 will get much better. It’s a sad place to be. But we soldier on. I would leave you with a question of the blog, but to be honest I don’t feel very chatty. But, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

The Christmas Party

This year’s work Christmas party has come and gone, and I’m pleased to report I survived. It wasn’t what I’d class as enjoyable, but I managed to put my best foot forward and shine, so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time.

Between the head of one of our biggest customers being out with us most of the night and the owner of our company’s son being with us all night getting stupidly drunk and letting loose seemed like a poor idea. It didn’t stop some, but I am too old to play dumb on that one. I actually got a compliment from my manager on how I handle the customer. High praise considering I am a night shift worker whom they normally keep locked away from important people.

My plan to fish for information and plant ideas didn’t go as well as I’d hope. This was mainly down to having a customer with us. Can’t really ask those import questions when you’re getting judged. But there is always next year.

Anyways, my dears, I am going to leave that here as I am writing this one Christmas Eve and I can hear the Christmas spirits calling me and they sound like tequila. Hope you had a lovely Christmas. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

The Gay Husband's Bright Idea

My lovely, dear, gay husband has had another one of his “bright idea” and I thought I’d let you in on his latest brain wave because personally it made me laugh.

The gay husband is over the whole Steve thing, he believes he’s all talk and while he served a purpose, that purpose has now been served. Fair enough, I guess. However, he believes I should replace Steve with, wait for it, his brother Tyler.

Now, if you’re anything like me, your reaction to that was “wait, what?”. The words just did not compute. He has his logic and some of it is understandable, but it still sounds crazy to me.

His logic is that Tyler is clearly someone I am comfortable with; he’s seen me without makeup, he’s seen many unflattering pictures of me, he’s someone I communicate with easily. We share a lot of the same interests (country music, musicals, crappy films), and we have a similar sense of humour. I don’t dispute any of that. However, the same could be said for most of my friends.

There also many other issues the gay husband is overlooking. Starting with his brother; now imagine for a second, he was right, and me Tyler started dating…. How messed up would have Thanksgiving be? Dating Tyler, sat across from his brother whom I use to sext? That’s not a thing.

Then you have the other issues, like he’s younger than me, I don’t date younger guys. You have the distance, you have secrets, he’s doesn’t know I blog, and he can’t find out for obvious reasons. And then you have the fact I am not ever sure he’s straight!

I am pretty sure the gay husband is way off on this one but let me know what you think in the comments below. I’d love to know your thoughts and the gay husband would love to find out if anyone is on his side. Anyways, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

The Christmas Party Is Coming…

Next week, or tomorrow when you’re reading this, it’s our staff Christmas party and I am absolutely dreading it. Spending unpaid time with my colleagues isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. But it is, however, a good opportunity and because of that I’m going.

It’s no secret I am not my boss’s favourite; I’m over opinionated, vocal and I don’t back down. However, I’m damn good at my job, and he knows it. So, events like this are a good opportunity for me to plant ideas and watch them come back as theirs a few months later.

This year’s event is a little different which might work in my favour as well. Instead of going out drinking and having to hang with the boys. Side note; they normally say stay soberer than your boss at events. True, but in transport I’ve found you must do that while going drink for drink…. Not fun. Anyways, this year we’re going to a white-collar boxing event to watch one of the CSU’s get punched in the face in memory of our colleague that took his life. Hopefully, meaning we won’t be hitting the bar as much as past years. I swear I’m still hungover for the last time we all went out.

That is transport though. Every company I’ve worked for has been the same. You need to be able to hang to get ahead. I know, I said my boss isn’t my biggest fan and he isn’t. However, his boss, likes me. The higher the position I’ve found, the more my honesty is found “refreshing”. And events like this given me a chance to put my best foot forward. It may not be the easiest way to make it, but at least my lips don’t taste like ass.

Anyways, I am going to go and enjoy the rest of my 4 off. But before I go, I have this question for you; do you enjoy work events? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Peak

Happy December! Can you believe it’s already here and this horrible year is almost over? However, before we get to that finish line, we must make it make it through one last hell, and that hell is known as peak.

Working in transport, peak is a unique beast. It's not quite as bad as retail, but it’s close. However, in retail most the people you meet are somewhat in the Christmas spirit and a little more joyful and in transport you’re working with homicidal elves.

While dodging the wrath of the homicidal elves, during peak I am also forced to work with my opposite. My opposite is quite the character to say the least. He is a character I’d like to see repeatedly run a cliff, if I am being completely honest. Having to work with him and dealing with the evil elves means this time of year is very stressful and does not always bring in the best in me.

Luckily, I am blessed with some awesome co-workers based all over the country who do a fantastic job of keeping me sane… ish. I mean we all work nights so sane isn’t really a thing we do, but that may be why it works. We’re good at see the funny side of things  and luckily, most of us came play off each other and bring each other back when the doom and gloom creeps in.

Anyways, I am going to love you and leave you. But, before I go, I have this question for, what is the best part of your job? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

I'm Sick

It’s beginning to look a lot like flu season…… I’m sick, I am miserable, and I have no time for any of this.

While trying to rest this evening like a good little patient, my body decided it would be cute to wake me up by projectile vomiting. Charming, I know. Luckily, I haven’t been able to eat in 2 days, so clean up was less gross than it could have been. However, I didn’t really have time booked for washing bedding today but needs must.

So, apologies todays post is short again, but unfortunately, I am sick and the time I had set aside to write is now having to be used by cleaning bedding and sleeping so hopefully I’m better for work on Sunday.

What are your home remedies for the flu? And, what do you do you do to make yourself feel better when you’re stuck in bed sick? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Stressed

I’m writing this post a lot later than I generally like to, but this month has been a wee bit stressful. My mom had an infection which knocked her numbers and took her out of commission for a week. Then, once she recovered from that she had to have surgery on her fistula for her dialysis, which knocked her out for another week and it’s just been busy and stressful and just a lot.

It seems like every time I get by duck in the same pond, (not row, I gave up on that dream years ago), one of the little buggers runs off to Mars. I just can’t win.

Anyways, sorry this post, is short any crappy, but as you know, sometimes life happens and blogging has to take a back seat. I will leave you with this question though; How do you keep your ducks in the same pond? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xo