I’m normally a fairly
composed person, it takes a lot for me to lose it and when I do there are
normally some fairly obvious warning signs I’m about to snap. However the other day
there was no warning, I just snapped as if someone had flipped a switch
and bam, I was gone.
Ever watch a show
where someone is placed under hypnosis and they’re given a trigger word and with
a simple little word a perfectly normal person is gone? It happened just like
that, however I wouldn’t call myself normal and when I snap I talk at about 500
words a minute. Everyone who has seen me lose it tells me they want to applaud afterwards.
I squeeze an hour’s worth of conversation into 5 minutes and the impressive
part is it’s all coherent and minus all the 4 lettered words, appears to be
fairly well thought out.
Here’s what happened
I was on the phone talking to my GBFF (Dave) and I was telling him about this
recurring dream I had 3 nights in a row. The short version of the dream is at
midnight on New Years Eve; Mr. X gets down on one knee and asks his girlfriend to
marry him.
We, ok I thought; maybe
my brain knew something I didn’t. So Dave said to me “you and Mr. X have a good
friendship why don’t you just ask him?” (It’s always so simple when someone
else tells you what to do) So, I sent him a message on Facebook. When he
replied.....that’s when I lost my shit.
Before I tell you
what he said I need to give you a little back story. About a month ago Mr. X
was flirting with me over Facebook and I can’t remember what he said and I’m
too lazy to look but my reply was “you have a girlfriend for that”. At which
point he told me they’re in an open relationship. It made no difference to me,
that’s why I didn’t blog about it, I’m not interested but for my rant to make
any sense you need that tidbit.
The reply he sent me
was “no, got a gf, nowhere near getting engaged though” at which point I think
my head spun around like something from the Exorcist. I lost it.
Here is a little of what
came flying out of my mouth at a million miles an hour.
“Girlfriend!? What
girlfriend!?! You’re in an open fucking relationship, that's just fuck-friends
for people who have no guts. You’re too ashamed to say “this is the girl I’m causally
fucking” so you put a pretty little title on it so people are ok with your
casual sex. Call it what it is, fuss free fucking!”
At which point Dave
said “bitter?”
“I’m not bitter with him;
he’s free to do whatever he wants. I really don’t want any of that. Her on the
hand....That bitch took my in. I’ve been mind fucking that man for years,
laying the groundwork for fuck-friends knowing perfectly well it would lead to more
and that bitch took my in. I did the hard work and put the time in and dealt
with ALLLLL that crazy and that bitch stole my fucking work. She plagiarized my
relationship!”
At which point I burst
out laughing and Dave lost it. We both knew it was pointless and didn’t mean
anything because I don’t want him anymore but that doesn’t make having your work
stolen any less frustrating. It wasn’t about him, it was about my work. We must
have laughed for 10 minutes straight. Once we regained our composure, Dave said “you
done?” To which I said “Damn bitch, plagiarized my relationship.” And we
started laughing all over again.
I’m sure his
girlfriend (“girlfriend”) is lovely and blah da blah blah blah but sometimes a
rant is in order and I felt amazing afterwards. But I have to ask; would you
sleep with someone who was in an open relationship? Let me know in the comment
box below and as always stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
Considering I've already slept with a girl who had a boyfriend (and it wasn't an open relationship), I can't decently say that I would mind sleeping with a girl who was in an open relationship.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll try as much as possible to avoid hurting her/my feelings if I did think that there wasn't going to be anything more than enjoyable (and safe) sex.
FroggyMan
nice post
ReplyDelete