Showing posts with label Santa Clause. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa Clause. Show all posts

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

The Honest Grinch

Let me start by saying sorry and bear with me over the next week or so in regards to my blogging schedule. My computer is dying a slow and painful death making blogging a nightmare.

Plus it is Christmas which means I’m my mother’s slave labour. She’s a baker which means we’re always busy this time of year making far too many cookies, cakes and chocolates.

Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas but I like it on December 1st before all the madness starts. I put on some Christmas music, dance around like a fool putting up the tree. I’m normally done all my Christmas shopping by then so I’ll wrap it all up. I love that part of Christmas....when it’s still fun.


Then around the second week of December I morph into The Honest Grinch. The Christmas music starts driving me crazy. Everyone seems to have me wrapping gifts. Which really pisses me off, since mine is already done.

Then around the 10th of December my job as a cookie wench starts. For the next two weeks I shape, roll, cut and bake around 40 dozen cookies. The oven timer controls my every movement during this time. As if that isn’t enough I also help make and cover more chocolates then I care to count. I’m pretty sure everything I own is now covered in flour, icing sugar and or chocolate.
It’s now December 21st and I’m so over Christmas it isn’t funny. I can’t wait for this all to be over. My back hurts, as much as I love Rockapella their new Christmas album is on my last nerve and if one more person puts a Christmas card through my door I may scream.


I’m also not what you call child friend. So all these screaming, hyper little kids looking forward to seeing Santa gives me the over whelming urge to shake them like a rag doll and tell them they’ve been horrible, loud mouthed little brats all year and Santa cuts up children like that to power his sleigh.

Yes, I’m aware that makes me a horrible person, but at least I’m honest about it.


Despite everything, I don’t hate Christmas. I love a lot of the things that go into it. I just can’t stand this much Christmas. I’m suffering from Christmas burnout. And who can blame anyone for that. Stores start putting their Christmas rubbish out before Halloween. Nobody can deal with that much Christmas.


There is a reason advent calendars only have a maximum of 30 days on it. That’s all of the Christmas spirit one person can take. The stores starting that 30 day clock early ensure more and more people hate Christmas. It’s not special or magical when the stupid thing last for 3 months. By the time it actually gets here even kids are bored of it.

Anyways I have to go get some sleep. I have 12 dozen cookies that need baking and 6 Christmas cakes to ice in the morning......Is it over yet?

Love,

The Honest Grinch..... I mean Bitch 
xoxoxo

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Tougher

Seems like everyone over the past few weeks have been posting statuses about how they’re tougher than people think they are. I don’t share that problem. Everyone knows how much of a tough bitch I am.

My problem is because I’m known for being such a bitch,I’m actually nicer then people think I am. Admittedly some of that is my own fault because I have selective niceness, so most people don’t get to see that side of me. But just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. (God it sounds like I’m talking about Santa Clause.)

When I’m around friends (I actually like), boyfriends (I’m not planning on dumping) and family I’m a lot less bitch like. I’m still as honest as ever but I just make sure to sugar coat it.

I tailor my level of bitchiness to suit the person I’m dealing with. Some people require more of a verbal bitch slapping then others. And others need to be spoken to as if they were a first grade special needs students

People seemed to be shocked when they hang out with me and I’m just as straight talking as they thought but I’m nice. It almost confuses them. I may be a bitch but I direct my bitchiness to where it’s dissevered. Am I the only person who does that?

Anyways I off do the evening. Have fun and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo