Showing posts with label Chocolate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chocolate. Show all posts

Wednesday 21 December 2011

The Honest Grinch

Let me start by saying sorry and bear with me over the next week or so in regards to my blogging schedule. My computer is dying a slow and painful death making blogging a nightmare.

Plus it is Christmas which means I’m my mother’s slave labour. She’s a baker which means we’re always busy this time of year making far too many cookies, cakes and chocolates.

Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas but I like it on December 1st before all the madness starts. I put on some Christmas music, dance around like a fool putting up the tree. I’m normally done all my Christmas shopping by then so I’ll wrap it all up. I love that part of Christmas....when it’s still fun.

Then around the second week of December I morph into The Honest Grinch. The Christmas music starts driving me crazy. Everyone seems to have me wrapping gifts. Which really pisses me off, since mine is already done.

Then around the 10th of December my job as a cookie wench starts. For the next two weeks I shape, roll, cut and bake around 40 dozen cookies. The oven timer controls my every movement during this time. As if that isn’t enough I also help make and cover more chocolates then I care to count. I’m pretty sure everything I own is now covered in flour, icing sugar and or chocolate.
It’s now December 21st and I’m so over Christmas it isn’t funny. I can’t wait for this all to be over. My back hurts, as much as I love Rockapella their new Christmas album is on my last nerve and if one more person puts a Christmas card through my door I may scream.

I’m also not what you call child friend. So all these screaming, hyper little kids looking forward to seeing Santa gives me the over whelming urge to shake them like a rag doll and tell them they’ve been horrible, loud mouthed little brats all year and Santa cuts up children like that to power his sleigh.

Yes, I’m aware that makes me a horrible person, but at least I’m honest about it.

Despite everything, I don’t hate Christmas. I love a lot of the things that go into it. I just can’t stand this much Christmas. I’m suffering from Christmas burnout. And who can blame anyone for that. Stores start putting their Christmas rubbish out before Halloween. Nobody can deal with that much Christmas.

There is a reason advent calendars only have a maximum of 30 days on it. That’s all of the Christmas spirit one person can take. The stores starting that 30 day clock early ensure more and more people hate Christmas. It’s not special or magical when the stupid thing last for 3 months. By the time it actually gets here even kids are bored of it.

Anyways I have to go get some sleep. I have 12 dozen cookies that need baking and 6 Christmas cakes to ice in the morning......Is it over yet?


The Honest Grinch..... I mean Bitch 

Thursday 1 December 2011

Comfort Sex

One of my readers sent me an article from the Huffington post about comfort sex. He wanted to know if it was true that women really did this. I could have answered his question before I read the article; of course women have comfort sex.

I think the article does a good job of explaining what comfort sex is. It’s not mind blowing sex. It’s good sex. That pretty much goes the same every time you’re together. There is nothing life changing or special about it, just solid reliable sex. And the reason it’s called comfort sex is because it releases endorphins and leaves you with a warm and safe feeling afterwards.

All women do this whether they are single or in a relationship. Like chocolate sometimes sex is just what you need (and it’s a lot better for you then the chocolate.)

Bad day, pissed off, broke a nail, boss is being a prick or ran into an ex’s new girlfriend are all reasons we turn to comfort sex. It’s a very quick and effective way of turning a frown upside down.

Sex has the magic ability to change our moods and there is nothing wrong with tapping into that power to uplift our sprits when we’re down. Some people pop pills others have orgasms.

As long as what you’re doing doesn’t leave you feeling worse in the morning in book it’s all a good thing. Sometimes we all need the comfort that sex can bring.

Stay safe guys, Love

The Honest Bitch

P.S Is there such a thing as comfort making out?