Larry Silence

Apparently inquiring minds would like to know what happened with Larry. It’s been over a month since his name was even uttered here and evidently you’d like to know the why and what happened.

As you may be recalled, because of the way my shifts fell I got a Larrycation, I didn’t see or speak to him for about 2 weeks. During that time I sat down with a drink and pad of paper and wrote everything out and by the end, as bad as this may sound, I concluded I deserve better. And almost instantly with that realization his magically hold over me was broken.

This was aided by the fact when he came back to work he was kind of a cunt to me. It’s a well-known fact I don’t like that word, but I can’t think of a more accurate way to describe him. He was snappy, rude and generally unappealing. Which in all fairness, I’m grateful for, it validated what my decision.

Now, I will say this, he was going through some stuff, and we all get bitchy and evil at times when our head isn’t right. I’m the perfect example of that. But his timing on this one was impeccable.

It’s actually why I waited to write this post, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and see if he came around. Which he did, we’re alright now. But had I wrote this post my last 4 off like I planned, it would have had a completely different feel.

Anyways, I am going to go and try to make the most of my 4 days off, but before I go I shall leave you with this question; are you quick to forgive? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

2015 The Year Of The Horrible Blogger

As the months tick away, I find myself sitting reflecting on this year and this blog and I hate to say it, but I kind of feel like a failure. While my number posts are up on the 2 previous years, the number collaborations and guest spots I’ve done are way down. And despite posting more, I’ve actually been AWOL for long chunks of times this year which is unacceptable. My social media game has been appalling. I’ve just been a horrible blogger this year.

And as Thanksgiving approaches, I can’t help but feel thankful for those of you that are still here despite me sucking. You guys are the first ones to know when something is wrong and you’re the first to send me messages when I’m ill. I’m just very lucky.

This blog is often me venting and releasing that inner bitch that you have to fight all week to keep in. It tends to be a little more on the negative, sarcastic, bitchy side and I think it’s important every once in a while just to let you know, the nice positive side isn’t lost me, and I know just how blessed I truly am. And I’m very thankful to have you guys in my life… even when I’m being a horrible blogger.

Anyways, I’m going to go and write a much requested post, but before I do I have this question for you; what have you failed at this year? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Improv Freedom

I managed to catch an improv class tonight for the first time in a few weeks and I have to say I feel amazing for it. There’s something about having to be so quick and on point that clears your mind and removes any filters you have. It’s very freeing. It’s kind of how I imagine therapy must feel for normal people.

After biting my tongue all week, it feels fantastic to just let everything inside my head pop out. I love my job don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to get really fed up with the attitudes of some of the people and I’m finding it an increasing struggle not to say something.

In a fairness, part of it is I need to book a few days off and I need to get better at recognizing that and acting on it before I turn into a crazy bitch. No matter how much you like your job, there are times you just need to get away. Improv and drinking will only get you so far, sometimes you just need to relax.

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, but before I go I have this question for you; how do you know when you’re due a holiday? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxo

Bad Life Choices

Am I the only one who finds themselves occasionally doing things that they know are a bad idea?

It seems every few years, my brain enters a fuck it mode where it understands what it’s thinking is a horrible idea but rationalizes it with “why not? It’s a little bit of fun and if it all goes wrong, is it really going to make things that much worse?” And for whatever reason, sooner or later the rest of me buys that rational and goes along for the ride. And shock horror it pretty much always ends badly.

I think the last time my brain entered that mode was when I agreed to go out with that guy I was telling you about in my “Past Rumour” post. I knew it was horror idea, even though he had left, we had a lot of friends in common and I just knew it wasn’t smart. But, I thought “what’s the worse that is going to happen”, and now ex co-workers know initiate details about my sex life.

The problem I’m having is my brain is in the middle of one of those fuck it cycles right now, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before I give in and I’m left to clean up the pieces afterwards. Despite knowing full well this is a horrible, stupid, foolish idea that can only end badly.

I bet you want to know what the bad idea is, don’t you?

After radio silence for almost 2 months TPF (The Penis Flasher) messaged me the other day while I was at work. In a fairness, I didn’t really mind, when his mind isn’t on his penis he’s easy to talk to and we have a bit of a laugh. The problem is his mind doesn’t stay off his penis for long and this was no exception.

The shorten version of events is he wanted to meet up at 06:30 after I finished work but before he started for “have some fun”. Now crazy brain or not, this wasn’t happening and I’ll explain why.

Let’s start with the fact I’m not the easy, I take a little wooing…or at least a few drinks. I’m not about to meet up with anyone in broad day and just fuck them, that isn’t my style.

Now let’s talk about the time frame. This is a guy I haven’t kissed, haven’t touched, haven’t spent any time with outside of work, and he’s allocated a 30 minute window at best…I don’t want to sleep with anybody whose start to finish is 30 minutes or less, I’m after an orgasm not a pizza.

With that said, at some point I predict I will give in and the "fuck it" side of my brain will win and I’ll tell you why. There is definitely no relationship to be had there, so in a way makes it’s safe. I won’t be working at the same location as him soon so if things go bad, I don’t have to see him. And as much as my brain knows better, he makes me laugh and we all know funny guys have a habit of clouding my better judgement.

That said, he breaks one of my golden rules of safe sex, which we know is condoms, birth control and a reasonable chance the guy I'm sleeping with is shooting blanks. TPF has a kid, which by all rights should disqualify him, but given how bad an idea this is, hell what’s an another one.

Anyways, I am going to go and get drunk because clearly sober me is making bad life choices and at least if I’m drunk I can’t drive making it much harder to act on those choices. But before I go I have this question for you; why do we do thing that we know will end badly? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Ready To Date

The upside to being stuck in bed ill is I’ve managed to do some research for some upcoming posts, the downside to being ill is I think it’s all ridiculous and complete bullshit. I was looking into a piece I planned to write on “how do you know when you’re ready to date again” after researching the topic for 5 minutes I lost the will to live let alone date.

Some of the “indicators” these sites were using are hilarious and clearly written by people grasping at straws. Some of my favorites include….

“You know you’re ready to date, when you’re interested in men again.” – Call me crazy, but a breakup has never affected my sexuality; my interest has never waned, just my ability to tolerate.

“You know you’re ready to date again when you don’t have any baggage left.” – Everyone has baggage, that’s what makes us, us. Whether it’s shaped you in a positive way or a negative way every relationship leave you with some sort of baggage. That's life. 

“You know you’re ready to date when your motives are pure.” – I actually laughed out loud at this one. Admittedly, I did find this one on a Christian dating site, but it doesn’t change the fact it is ridiculous. If your thoughts are completely pure when you start dating someone you’re dating the wrong person. There should be some element of rip their clothes off lust.

After that one I gave up on the subject and decided on this, if you’re asking the question you’re not ready to date and if the question is being asked by those around you, who fucking cares what they think, only you get to decide what is right for you. Remember that.

Anyways, I am going to go and try and write another post, but with that said my temperature is back and I need a nap. But before I go I have this question for you; what is the worse dating advice you’ve ever received? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Sick :-(

I’m currently cuddled up in bed with a 102 degree fever so I’m afraid I’m going to have to keep this short. I think when I’m sick is the only real time I miss being in a relationship. I’m in bed achy, with a sore throat, blocked ears, sinus pain, boiling up and the only thing I want to do is cuddle up with my head on a cute guy's chest and sleep for a month.

Luckily, when the Nyquil kicks in I’ll be in a coma for the next 4 hours and any sad feelings I may have will quickly be replaced by trying not to drown in my own drool.

I’m so irritated I’m under the weather, I have loads of posts I wanted to write this 4 off, but I’m barely capable of lifting my head off the pillow at the minute.

Anyways, I’m going to go back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up, I will feel well enough to get some of that writing I wanted done. I just hate letting you guys down. But before I go I will leave you with a question: what makes you miss being in a relationship? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Past Rumour

Two new starters at work have had me on edge recently. They use to work with me 3 years ago at not my last job, but the one before. I have no issue with them themselves, what I do have a problem with is the gossip they may possess.

If you remember about a year ago, I was texted in the middle of the night with the news there was a rumour going around my old job about me. To be precise, there were two contradictory rumors going around about me  

It didn’t bother me too much at the time, yes I was pissed off, but at the end of the day I didn’t work with any of them anymore, so what did I care what they were saying. Plus in my head, I knew the negative rumour was bullshit, the man was mathematically outnumbered at the end of the day.

Let’s get to the rumour because I know you’re dying for the gossip. I don’t know if you remember, creepy dirty talk/ baby talk guy? I don’t actually remember what I called him in the blog, well, he somehow ended up working for my previous employer and he ended up going into detail with the girls in the office about what happened sexually between us. He basic called me bad lay. CM, in my defense told creepy guy, he must have been the problem because I was the best fuck he’s ever had. So you can imagine…. People started talking.

For the record, the sex between me and creepy was god awful. He made me super uncomfortable. I’m not sure dirty talk in a creepy voice does it for any girl, but seeing as I don’t like dirty talk anyways, the whole thing was just bad.  

Which is a life lesson for any guy reading this; make sure your girl feels comfortable and you’ll get much better sex out of the deal.

Now, let’s straighten something out here, because as you know my reputation is everything to me, and that’s why these two new starters have me worried. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. I didn’t sleep with/date any of these guys while we worked together. I dated creepy 5 months after he left my last employer. I dated CM 3 months after I left the company we worked together at and the mathematical tie breaker I slept with over a year after I left the company.

So there was a 3^rd guy, Mr. Tiebreaker, however, he was a one time deal and he understands privacy so kept his damn mouth shut in all this. That said, he did say I was a good lay at the time. Which was surprising because everything up to the sex was great, but…. He was huge…. That’s why it was a one time thing. I wanted no part of that thing again, but that’s a story for another day. But knowing what he had said did give me the confidence at the time to let the rumour slide. I knew creepy was just bitter.

The problem is I knew he was bitter, but nobody else does. And knowing how drivers gossip….I’m worried. I don’t need to be labelled anything, let alone a whore or a slut or a bad fuck or a great fuck… which is almost worse.

It just goes to prove you need to be careful who you sleep with, because your sexual history will come back to bite you sooner or later. But I guess if a rumour is my only problem, I’m doing pretty well. I suppose, that brings us to the question of the blog; what was the last rumour you heard about yourself? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe…… and by safe I mean, wear a condom and don’t make babies!

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo