Poorly Cuddles

I’m struggling to write this week and I’m not completely sure why. It could be because I’m happier than I have been, which always makes it harder to write. Or it could be because I’m sick and when I finish work I just want to cuddle up in a ball and die but whatever the reason it’s starting to irrigate me. Or I’m sick irritable one or the other.

When I’m sick all I want is cuddles, there is no other mind set, I want cuddles and to be felt alone, which really doesn’t go together well… but I’m a female and I don’t have to make sense.

I’m missing the old place right now for one reason only, when I’d get sick there, I’d cuddle up to Justin’s arm, put my head on his shouldn’t and quietly die all night. I can’t do that here. Justin was awesome for that stuff, but there again I didn’t have to worry about how those actions were perceived there. At least not by him, everyone else thought I was sleeping with him…. But if I believed every rumor about who I was sleeping with in that place, I’d never be upright.

Maybe I’m reading way too much into this. I am going to go and sleep because I really need to. But before I do I have this question for you; what makes you feel better when you’re sick? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

NOT ALL QUESTIONS ARE A TRAP!

I have a piece of advice for all the men out there, not that I have any male readers, but just in case any are lost and end up here I have this for you. NOT ALL QUESTIONS ARE A TRAP!

Larry has a distaste for makeup, and he was explaining this at work the other night. In this conversation I said I pretty much look the same with or without makeup. Which I do. I’m told this all the time, by friends and more than once by the person I’ve woken up next to. Larry snapped back with “I don’t think you do.” So I innocently asked which way he thinks I look better. The wuss, would not answer for love, money or blowjobs.

He then ranted about it being a trap. It wasn’t a trap at all. I mean, unless he thinks I’m hideous there was no way to offend me with that question.

“I think you look better without makeup” – Awwww, he thinks I’m naturally pretty. There's no offended there.

“I like you with makeup, it brings out your eyes” – Awww, he thinks I have pretty eyes. Not offended.

“You look equally wonderful with or without makeup” Awwwww, that’s sweet. Not offended.

You know what’s offensive, “no comment”, that answer is pretty much the only way that question becomes a trap.

I don’t tend to ask questions I don’t want an answer to anyways. Hence me not asking Larry how he feels…. Don’t want to know. And I don’t know any female friends that do this, but if you do, stop it, it’s clearly fucking it up for the rest of us.

Anyways, you sexy people, I am going to go and get some sleep. But before I go I have this question for you; do you ask questions you don’t want the answer to? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxox 

Awkward Touch

I am did promise daily posts again this week, and I hate letting you guys down so despite have absolutely nothing to say, here a post.

That in itself is actually a good thing, things are back to normal at work. My body language seems to have fixed itself, I’m not feeling awkward at all. It almost feels normal. The only tiny problem is I appear to be scared to touch Larry. That normal interaction feels super awkward and unlike at the old place where I could stand and lean on Justin or give a patronizing hug…. I can’t do that here.

Anyways, I need to go get ready for work. Sorry this post is so short. But we shall talk later. Before I go, I have this question for you; what makes you feel awkward? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Daily Continues

I am drunk, da drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, and I am going to have a bruise the size of a small country on my leg from a wall failing to dance with me. But it’s been worth it. I’ve had a lot of fun today. It’s been a while since I’ve been happy drunk.

Drunk has been my coping mechanism lately. Hopefully I’m  back to writing now because drunk solves nothing other than making me too tired to kill anyone the follow day… so I guess that’s a victory.

I’ve decided, I shall be carrying on the daily blog for another week, mainly because I’ve really enjoyed them. I feel amazing, my mind is clear, I’m not stressed, and I’m not struggling to bite my tongue. I love the feeling of not having anything bottled up.

Although that said, I think killed Larry off, but these things happen. I’m not really surprised and I’m sure none of you are either. It’s just one of those things. He may be ok, he might come back as a zombie, only time will tell.

I am going to go and break that golden rule, write drunk, edit sober…. If I did my editing sober, I’d never post anything interesting. I’d probably get in way less trouble though. Anyways, you beautiful people, it’s time for the question. How do you deal with stress? Let me know in the comment box below? And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

What Is The Endgame

I guess, I’m going to make this a weekend full of questions answered. I haven’t planned on answering this one just yet but, I’ve had a moment of clarity or maybe just a good night’s sleep and thought, fuck it. I’ve never been one to hold back, so why start now.

The question is what is the end game with Larry? What is the hope?

I don’t have an endgame with Larry, I think that would be a very dangerous way to look at things in this case. At the end of the day, I still have to have a relationship with this guy no matter what, so I can’t look at this as a one way street with a destination at the end. I’d end up miserable if I did that.  And if ending up miserable was the name of the game; I’d be in bed with the Penis Flasher now. But my happiness comes first so I’m not, that and because batteries are a thing.

As for what I’d like, that’s the harder question. And as frustrating as it is, it’s not one I have an answer for. I want to see what’s there, but I want to do that over time, and with as little pressure as possible. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Sometimes you just have to have faith in that.

I know that sounds like a cop-out, and maybe it is, but I’ll tell you like this. He isn’t what I normally go for. If I came across him online I’d pass; He’s smokes, he has a kid, there are other activities I don’t agree with. On paper, he’s worse than the Penis Flasher. But here’s the thing; after spending 40+ hours a week locked in the office with him I can tell you, he’s a wonderful human. He’s a lot of fun to be around, he’s super caring, he’s funny; He’s just an all-around good guy. And someone I enjoy spending time with.

Would I be heartbroken if there was more there? No. If he tried to kiss me, would I push him away? No. If everything stays exactly how it now, would I be heartbroken? No. I am more than happy to let this one play itself out.

That said, I hope he doesn’t end up with Pippi. Because how things are now, will change. I’ve already been given my orders on that one.

Anyways, I am going to go and get ready, I’m meeting up with some friends to work on a script today, I can’t wait it’s been a long time since we’ve all met up. But before I do, I have this question for you; does the relationship status matter? Let me know your thoughts and opinions in the comment box below. And as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Saturday Q&A

Happy Saturday; my hair is up, my makeup is off and I’m sat here in my pajamas ready to answer some of your questions. It’s been a while since I’ve done a Q&A and with the daily posts this week I’ve received more questions than normal, so let’s get started.

What ever happen to that other guy from work?

The simple answer is I killed him off. I don’t need the drama he’d bring in my life. I’m 28, I’m not looking to play games; I’m too old for that shit. I want simple, and easy. Something that feels natural. I want someone to enhance my life, not make me hate it.

That guy has more issues than playboy. His baggage is beyond what any girl should have to take on. As good as it would be for blogging sake, I’m too happy how I am to risk it with a sure fire failure.

How is Mr. X?

He’s good, enjoying marriage. He’s still a smart ass and a great voice of reason.

Are you worried your blog will change Larry’s opinion of you?

No; my only worry is he’ll react to something he reads. I don’t mind talking about things, but I don’t want to be yelled at for something that I may have felt for a second.

His opinion of me, does not concern me. That is solely his problem. I am, what I am and I’m not about to change for anyone. As long as we can work together, he can think about he likes.

Disregarding your feelings, given the fact you work together would you date him?

Yes, which is an answer I didn’t think I’d be saying. For some reason I think we’d be fine. A breakup is why you don’t date where you work, but his personality doesn’t lend itself to bitter ex so I think we’d ok.

Have you spoken to The Giant since starting the new job?

I’ve spoken to him a few times since I left. We’ve also gotten on well from the start so there’s not really a surprise there. Plus, he’s my flirting partner, when I need a pick me up, he’s there to creep on me and make things better.

Would you sleep with The Giant?

If life was simple and he was single, damn straight I would. But, it’s not simple and I’d like to not add homewrecker to my CV so probably not. As much as I’d like to.

What are your “Larry beliefs”?

I believe he’s banging Pippi Whore Stockings so clearly isn’t interested.

What if your belief is wrong?

Then sooner I’ll find out, he’ll say something or make a move and I’ll take things from there.

I think that’s enough questions for one day. I have one more to answer, but I shall save that one for later and give it a post of its own at some point.

This has been a lot of fun as they always but I am going to go and get some much needed sleep. I won’t leave a question today. I’m all questioned out. So as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

And Then A Rant Happened

I’m feeling pretty much how I figured I would today; tired, drained, pissed off and a little hungry, which is actually a good thing because minus two pieces of candy at work last night I haven’t eaten in at least 48 hours…. I envy people who can comfort eat. If I even try to eat when I’m upset I get sick.

I guess I picked a good day to be ticked off, I’ve managed to hide it behind being tired most of the night and admittedly a lot of it probably is that I’m over tired and cranky as all hell. But not all of it.

I’m still miffed at Larry for implying I was fishing for information on how he feels. Now, admittedly those words never left his mouth and that’s because I cut him off before he said words he couldn’t take back.

If I wanted to know how he felt, I’m fucking ask. I might do it drunk…. But I’d do it. As it stands this very minute, I don’t care! I believe I know where I stand, whether that matches reality or not is another matter, but I’m ok with my belief.

I’m Irate that someone would think I’m too chicken shit to answer the hard questions, I’ve been doing this nearly 15 years and I’ve built my reputation on being honest and open and saying the things we all think but never say. And to have someone even hint that I’d do anything other than that makes my blood boil.

You can call me ugly, you can say I’m a bad person, you can think I’m crazy…. I don’t care, just don’t mess with my blog. This is my baby, this is my outlet and this is my life.

And apparently a great way to flip my bitch switch…. Sorry about that. However, I feel a million times better. That’s part of the joy of blogging, intense emotion until you hit post and then you’re instantly over it… normally just in time to upset someone reading it.

Anyways, I need sleep and food, but mainly sleep, so I need to go. But before I do, my question for you; what flips your bitch switch? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo