Charming

There is an interesting side effect from living on the opposite side of the planet from most of your family. It’s when family members die, you don’t instantly feel grief, you get pissed off. It’s a strange coping mechanism or maybe it’s just human nature. You see when you live on the opposite side of the planet you don’t find out about deaths in a normal nature, you find our on social media. And then you get mad, really fucking mad.

My Aunt Joan died a couple of days ago, she’s one of the only people on my mom’s biological side of the family I actually liked. I spent summers there, she held the family Christmas party every year. She was one the only good people on that side of the family. And as you can guess I found out she died on fucking Facebook. Got to love family, right.

Anyways I am on holiday this week, and I am sober, so I need to go fix that. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

Plans

Am I the only person that finds having a plan or long-term commitments stressful? Don’t get me wrong, I have a loose plan, I have an end goal, but a step-by-step plan or commitment past the next 7 ish day, stress me the hell out.

I think it has something to do with me not liking to let people or myself down. I know where I am now, mentally, physically, but 1 month, 2 months for now who knows. And I hate to back down, so I know from experience I’ll just push myself and do that I said even though it may not be what’s best for me.

Anyways you pretty people, I am off to go and study because sooner or later I will be that fucking time off work to do my course. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Happy Valentine’s Days

Happy Valentine’s Days you beautiful people. I hope you’re all have a fabulous day and none of you are letting the BS of the day get you down. Just remember today is about love, not relationships, so show yourself a little self-love. Do something you enjoy, spend some time just focusing on you. 

Relationships are all well and good, but the only one that truly matters is the relationship you have with yourself.

As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

I Miss Tyler

I hate to admit this, but I am missing Tyler. We haven’t been as chatty as normal, and I’m feeling the impact. He brings calm, light heartedness to most situations and without that, my people battery is going flat a lot quicker than I’m used to.

It pains me to admit I might actually need him, or any person for that matter, but it would appear that I do…I don’t like this.

Considering I hate most people and can barely tolerate the rest, I find it a horrible inconvenience that I might actually need another human. It’s not something I do. And, frankly, it feels wrong. But I guess it’s ok. I mean everyone needs someone sometimes?

Anyways, I am going to go and get some sleep, I need to flip back to night mode for work tomorrow. But before I do, I have this question for you. Does it bother you to need to lean on someone? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Changing up the plan

Thanks to a lack of holiday approval I’m having to shake up my plan and even as I write this, I’m not sure the change will work since I’m still lacking approve. I put my holiday request in in November and still nothing… feel like it would be easier to get a new job at this point. That said, my new aim, since the course I wanted to do is now full, is to do my CPC in June.

Which isn’t a bad thing, I had fallen behind in studying so this should allow me to get back on track. I have 16 units left to go over and 15 weeks until the course, so I should be able to everything done and fully give myself the best chance to succeed.

Anyways I am off to drink because I am back at work tomorrow and that makes me want to drink. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Slow Going

2020 progress is slow…so slow. I just can’t seem to find motivation. My get up and go, got up and went. And I’m just blah. I wish I could put my finger on why or what’s up, but I am at loss. I know I’m stressed on some level, mainly because my REM sleep is through the roof. Which normally means I’m working through something… I just don’t know what. Too much REM sleep can leave you blah and tired, so everything is likely linked… I just don’t know what the cause is.

All this is quickly becoming boring and I’m longing for the days when I feel good and can actually get shit done.

Anyways its 3am and I am back at work tonight so I need to start getting ready to not sleep when I should and feel like shit for 4 days. Before I go, I’ll leave you with this question what do you do to get motivated? Let me know in the comments below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Mini Tyler Update

A lot of you have been requested a Tyler update and since I can’t think of anything to write about, now seems like a good time to give one.

This is going to be short; this is no update. Nothing has changed, all is the same. Heck, I should have written this post last week when I was running behind. I know Team Tyler is strong and full of hope, but I think you’re alone on that one.

Anyways you pretty people, I am going to go and try and get a little more studying done. But before I go I shall leave you with this question; how is your New Year going. Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Still Not Together

In case you’re wonder, yep my mission to keep my ducks in a row in 2020 is still failing. Hence why this post will be back dated to Friday despite be writing it at midnight on Saturday. One day I will have everything balanced, I swear, but not any time soon from the looks of it.

The other issue I have is, I have nothing to say right now. Dating life is nothing, work is still very much work and all my free time is currently taken up trying to cram for my CPC in March which I may or may not be doing since I can’t get my fucking holiday days approved.

Anyways I have to go, this is day 1 off which is why I am writing so late, sleep happened. Hopefully next week, things will be better…maybe. Love you all, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Starting The Year Off Wrong

Happy New Year! My plan to get my shit together is a failure already, seeing as its Thursday night and I’m just writing this…oops. However, I didn’t want to miss a post so we’re starting 2020 with a throwaway post. Forming habits is the most important thing, at least that’s my belief. It’s like my working out goal from last year. It sucked however it became such a habit, in the end I couldn’t relax until it was done.

Anyways, I am going bed. I finished work this morning which makes today national sleep day. But before I go, I will leave you with this question; what is your New Year’s resolution?  Let me know in the comments below. As always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Not Christmas

Let me start by saying Merry Christmas, but truth be told I am not fucking feeling it one teeny tiny bit. Christmas this year has been the most nothing day ever. It’s 19:00 and I haven’t left my room since opening presents, not had dinner or any of the normal junk, it’s just a normal day.

I wish I could but my finger on why and figure out what is off about this year. But I can’t. it’s just doesn’t feel like Christmas and I don’t feel like doing chiasmas. Hell, I am grumpy about having people around.

May old single and bitter has finally caught up to me. Anyways I am off to sleep more, and to wait for this day to be over. Hope your day was better than mine. As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Not Feeling it

It is 6 days until Christmas, and I hate to say it, but I’m not feeling it at all this year. I didn’t even get the tree up until mid-December. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas and I don’t know why. I’m hoping the holly jolliness will come once I break up from work, but that doesn’t happen until the morning of the 24^th.

Can I just pass on the whole thing this year? Try again next year. Is that a thing?

Sorry this is a super short post, but I feel like death, which isn’t helping the lack of Christmas sprite. I am off to grab a nap and hopefully things will be less spiney when I get up.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Oppps

So, the last post I posted was about me struggling to find balance and the one of the ones before that was about goals… sometimes life tries to test us and sometimes we fail that test, and things go up in flames and it’s not pretty. That’s the current situation.

I may have lost my shit at work Saturday night, walked out and quit. That is a thing that may have happened. I knew I was stressed; I knew I was getting towards the end of my rope… I didn’t know flames were about to happen.

It’s strange, I don’t regret anything. I mean I would have liked to be a little calmer but given the situation I did what I felt I needed to. As for what’s next, I don’t know. I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow, and we will see what’s what. I’m at peace with my decision so I’m not sure what can be said on his part.

Anyways, I am off to finish decorating the tree. As always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo