Friday, 21 December 2012

Emotionally Detached

I’ve never had a problem flirting with Mr. X or meeting him for one of our “encounters” that stuff just doesn’t faze me, however what does faze me is when Mr. X gives me a complement; it feels almost dirty.

I’m well aware I’m a little fucked up; this is news to nobody, but this I fear, takes it to a whole new level. And brings back flashbacks to a breakup I had a few years ago.

When we broke up the guy called me “emotionally detached”, and that’s why we were “doomed from the start.”

To this day I’ve always called bullshit on this, what he calls “emotionally detached” I call being a low maintenance girlfriend. I still strongly believe the problem was him and not me.

One of the big things he had a problem with was that I never put in any effort to get to know his friends. Let me start by saying it’s not like he had his friends over to his place. When he’d hang out with his friends it was at a club or they’d go out and play pool. Maybe it’s because I have so many guy friends but I know those aren’t the places that a girlfriend should be tagging alone to. That’s guy time.

He also bitched that I would never text him first throughout the day. Why should I? He was busy at work and I had things I needed to do during the day. Not to mention I worked late shifts so I was also kind of busy, you know, sleeping.

He also had a problem with the fact I wouldn’t hold his hand when we were out shopping. I’m sorry but I’m an adult, I don’t need to hold anybody’s hand when I’m out. I’m a big girl, I can walk by myself, I’ve been doing it a long time, I’m good at it. If you want to do something to show the world you’re my boyfriend, carry my bags! At least that’s useful.

The other thing that he didn’t like was I could happily go a day or two without anything more than a good night text. I’m an only child, and because of that I like my space, there is nothing wrong with that. Last time I checked not being needy and clingy was a good thing.

Ok so maybe I’m wrong, maybe I am emotionally detached, maybe Mr. X is right, when I asked him he said I’m “somewhat” emotionally detached. Maybe I’ve just dealt with so many jerk-off men I’m jaded. Or maybe I’m just an independent woman who has a nasty habit of dating whiny ass men.

I don’t know, what do you guys think? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 


  1. I am going with the " nasty habit of dating whiny ass men." The right guy will know to "handle" you and by "handle" you, I mean not handle you and let you be, and he will love you for that and not whine about stupid shit like that. Now I am not saying you are not fucked up, and perhaps a little jaded - I think I am in the same boat, perhaps we should create a little support group - but whenever I was with a guy that was a good match to me, even though I am very independant, I would eventually (takes a long time) lean a bit more on him, but how are you supposed to lean on a whiny ass man? You just don't. Saves you from some trouble!

    Sorry about the long response, but I hate when guys say that to me like there is something wrong with me so I want to make sure you don't believe them!

  2. Thanks hun, don't worry about it I think long responses is kind of our thing now. I like the support group idea although dare I ask what we'd call it? lol

    I hadn't thought of it like that, but you're right, when I dated Chicken Man I has no real issue leaning on him... a little :-) You're a very wise women

  3. There you go ... a group would be called the Wise Women ... and yeah the long responses is definitely kind of our thing :)
    PS: you are the blog bestie I talk about in my latest post in case you didn't recognize yourself, and to answer you about M possibly being gay, I don't think so, I don't want to think so, but I have no clue. I have the worst "gaydar" ever! Merry Christmas

  4. My gaydar is normally good but there is a blog somewhere about a guy I turned gay so don't feel bad lol Merry Christmas hope you and M had a nice drunken meal

  5. Hey Girls,
    A guy recently told me that I am emotionally detached, i mean what a sod right!!! But then again maybe I am, but I don't consider it to be a bad thing though. There is nothing wrong with being independent and not wanting a guy to think that you are his. I hate compliments and guys find it weird that i hate it.

  6. What he calls detached you call low maintenance. How convenient for you.

    Do you know what is super low maintenance? A cactus.

    Unfortunately, relationships with cacti end in many small punctures to sensitive regions.

  7. This guy wanted a strong emotional bond with someone. He wanted someone that he could think of often and the same would be reciprocated. Neither of you were wrong, you simply were not compatible. PS He sounds the more typical and emotionally healthy person, and you sound like a narcissistic, radical feminist with a blog and two bucks for a small fry at mcdonalds.

    1. I really don't like that you said that she sounds narcissistic.she sounds like a woman who knows what she wants.I actually agree with her.there is a difference between being self absorbed and narcissistic

  8. We are soul sisters!! We come from a very long line of female warriors. Stand strong and tall there is nothing detached about you. Your spirit must be not allow your wings to be clipped....

    1. That might be my favorite comment ever. And your timing is impeccable. Thank you :-)

  9. I would say, you are not emotionally damaged or detached. My guess is you were just not that into him. Second, even if you were that's not the problem. The problem is that he has the problem with his expectations of how he thought you would be or should be. Wild guess, I bet you behave differently with a guy that actually makes you swoon. Lastly, for fuck sake send a random emoji or snap chat. I am sure that won't kill or overwhelm you. Unless the guy you're with doesn't matter... then just keep doing what your doing.

  10. I've been deemed emotionally detached and sociopathic. I believe I was just raised strong enough to not need anything from anyone I enjoy my relationships that's what they are there for. I do not need them and was never too phased when I ended them they simply no longer made me happy. I'd say I was low maintenance where the occasional romantic gesture is nice the rest is unnecessary and wasting time for one of us. I have never cried at a sappy movie and I can always cope with the villain we all have a reason for being the way we are it's not the lions fault he is stronger than the sheep. I get called detached due to my reactions towards the news at night,what's it to me if someone I didn't know got killed...for all I know they could've been a bad person. However turn that person into an animal and I have every care in the world. People are wrongly diagnosed daily simply because someone thinks differently then they do.