Tuesday, 11 December 2012


Most women want what they can’t have, so when I found out a few months ago Mr. X was in a relationship, my friends were worried the grip he had on me would tighten.

I’m not most women.

The thing that made Mr. X so alluring was that he was something attainable I couldn’t attain. The best way I can describe is it was like we were in the same book, on same chapter, on same page but different paragraphs; so close you could almost touch but never quite close enough.

The whole thing played off the fact I am the world’s most stubborn person. Yes, there was a sexually spark there too which didn’t help but the main issue was my stubbornness. There were days were I looked at him and if he were any other guy, I wouldn’t have given him a second look, drunk in a bar at closing time. It was purely my stubbornness that kept me interested. 

Admittedly there were other days were I wanted to rip his clothes off and do unspeakable things to him but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

So when I found out he was in a relationship besides being shocked that he was capable of human emotion, I was actually relieved.

He went from something attainable I just couldn’t attain, to something unattainable that I couldn’t attain so there was no point in trying. I was oddly at peace with everything.

I’m still oddly at peace and my friends think I’ve lost my mind. They don’t understand how I can still speak with this man who once drove me crazy and had all this power over me and now he’s just like all my other guy friends, nothing special.

I put it like this, when he went for attainable to unattainable the book closed, when the book closed it killed all the butterflies that were inside it and without the butterflies....you have nothing.

Does any of that make sense at all? Or are my friend right to think I’ve lost my mind? Let me know what you think in the comment box below. And as always my dears stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 


  1. It makes total sense. I've been involved with taken men before but they've never had a hold over me. Not like with a guy I know I can have a relationship. They seem to hold all the cards.

  2. You are definitely not most women :) and that's a good thing. When my ex got married 6 months after we broke up our 4 year relationship, it was such a relief for me. To me that also meant the book was finally closed, and I didn't have to deal with what I like to call the regret rollercoaster. Your friends just don't know how exceptionally mature you are, and they might not be there yet, but you can handle it and that is a great thing. Why hold on to someone who already belongs to another person?