Faking OK

I’m sure we’ve all been there; you let thing after thing build up until inevitably you crack, probably because some considerate jerk asks you if you’re ok. And inevitably instead of explaining what is actually wrong; you go with the most obvious or least complicated answer. This inevitably leads to you having to pretend to be ok, when you’re probably not, in order to keep up the illusion that all that was wrong was that uncomplicated, super obvious thing. When in reality nothing feels alright and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

That about sums things up with me right now. I’m faking ok, I’m fighting to be ok, but in reality everything kind of feels awkward and forced.

I kind of lost it at work yesterday; a little thing here, a little thing there and then a not so little thing followed by a minor thing and then that inevitable question and I broke. Now, because we’re all friends here we know it was that "not so little thing" I was reacting to. But that was/ is complicated and not even straight in my own head at this point so clearly when asked I went for the simple answer.

That was all well and good until I had to go into work last night and pretend life is all rainbows and unicorns and pretend all my problems were solved. When in reality I’m going to have to sit here writing for 12 hours to even begin to wrap my head around the issue…. Or at least to figure out what to do with the issue; I know what the issue is. Or at least I think I do.

To try and keep up the illusion, I found myself repeatedly asking myself the question “what would I be doing” and forcing myself to go do those things; Feeling incredibly awkward and unnatural in the process.

Now I’m kind of at a lost on what to do? Do I fess up to what was really bothering. Even though I haven’t worked through all the details myself. Do I keep pretending until everything feels right again? Will it feel right again?

I’m in a one of the those loops where I just need to write and see what answers my brain comes up with, that said, I don’t even feel safe in doing that right now because I have a co-worker on the hunt for this blog and…. Talk about complicated.

Anyways, you gorgeous people I am going to go, and well, edit and post this since I’ve been AWOL for far too long, I promise to explain that at some point too but before I go I must leave you with a question. How do you fake being ok? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

 xoxo

The Glamour Summer Edit

 I woke up this morning to the arrival of my Latest In Beauty – The Glamour Summer Edit box, since it’s been a few months since I’ve done an unboxing and because despite receiving a load of subscription boxes I was really excited about this one I thought I’d share it.

When I opened the box the first thing I saw was the temporary tattoos. This is a throwaway item to me. I know they’re all the rage right now and a completely valid thing to include. However, I’m an adult (apparently), and these remind of being kid and getting them as a prize at the bottom of a cereal box and to be honest, I didn’t like them then.

The next item was Eucerin SPF 30 Facial Sun Cream; it’s a summer box and SPF is important so I can’t complain. It’s not super exciting, but I’ll definitely use it. 

Balance Me, Super Toning Body Polish is the next item in this box. Like the sun cream, it’s not overly exciting, but useful. If you want you tan to last it’s important to exfoliate. Since I work nights and I’m pretty sure the sun in a myth, I like to help any tan I do get, to last as long as humanly possible, since I never know when I may see the sun again. Smell wise, it’s a little herbal for my liking and also after swatching it, it doesn’t feel all the gritty so we’ll have to see how well this actually works. 

 The next item is the L’Occitance Shampoo and Conditioner. Shampoo and conditioner isn’t normally something I’m happy to see in a subscription box. but this is L’Occitance we’re talking about here. It’s a very high end brand. My only problem with it is the smell, I had to give away a hand cream that worked fantastically because I wouldn’t get over that overly masculine smell. I’m just hoping the smell doesn’t linger in my hair.

Vita Liberata – Trystal Minerals is the next item in the box. Unlike some of the other items, this is both exciting and frighten. It’s a self-tanning bronzer. You apply it like a normal bronzer and throughout the day it develops into a natural looking tan that last up to 5 days… or so it claims. 

 

 Next up we have Caudalie – Divine Oil; I’ve never tried this before, but I haven’t met a Caudalie product I don’t like so I’m excited to give it a go. It doesn’t have the classic Caudalie smell, it smells kind of like baby oil, but that won’t stop me from giving it a go.

Pixi Glow Tonic is next up, this is a cult classic that I’ve been waiting to try for forever, but Pixi products are hard to come by in the UK. It’s a tiny sample only 15ml but it doesn’t make me any less excited. It’s meant to tighten, tone, exfoliate and leave you with a glow, we’ll see if it does any of what it claims, but I’m sure it’s a cult classic for a reason. 

 Next up is Bourjois – Colour Boost in 04 Peach on the Beach. I like the formula, it’s very moisturizing. The colour on the other hand isn’t my favourite. It’s a pretty coral colour, but I try to avoid them. I find coral colours tend to make my teeth look yellow and that’s just not a cute look.

The final item in the box is this Nails Inc Gel Effect nail polish in Uptown. I’d be more excited for this item if I hadn’t bought 2 nail polish this week in a very similar colour. That said, I love Nail Inc nail polish, its good formula that normally lasts on me. So I can’t really complain. 

Overall I’m really impressed with this box. At £17.99 it seems like a fair price for everything you get. Yes some things aren’t super exciting but minus the tattoos everything in the box is useful. Plus you get some high end brands which is always a good thing.

So let me know what you think about LIB’s latest offering in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

Co-worker Sex

Would you sleep with a co-worker? I’m sure this is a question you’ve all asked yourself at some point or another, I know I have.

My answer has always been no. I’m not about to make my work life more complicated than it already is. This, however, hasn’t stopped me in the past from sleeping with them once one of us has left a company…nice little loophole that.

With that said, last time I applied that loophole I ended up with a complete and utter wake-a-doo. So I am a little gun shy now, but I’m sure I’ll get over that.

I can hear you already, so why hasn’t you slept with The Supervisor then?

The answer to that is really simple, we can’t plan to save our lives. He’s a daylight dweller, I work on the dark-side. Plus, he has a family, I have a blog and other responsibilities. So trying to meet up just for a drink takes a lot of coordination.

If I listen carefully I hear a second question; since you’re leaving does that mean you’ll sleep with The Giant?

The answer to that is…I don’t know. I’ve never been one for planning, I tend to just let these things happen so we’ll shall see. Plus, when it comes to him, it’s not just the whole working together thing stopping me. We’ll just have to see how things play out.

Anyways, I’m off to take over the world, or, as the case may be, take a nap before work. But before I go I have this question for you; would you sleep with someone you work with? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

12 Days

I’m getting ready to go back to work after my lovely 12 days off. It's very strange to think in the next 12 days I’ll no longer be employed by the company where I’ve spent the past two years. 8 shifts, that’s it.  Or 96 hours, which sounds like hell, so we’ll stick with 8 shifts.

I’m genuinely sad to be going, but it’s most definitely time. This job has turned me into someone I don’t like and when things get like that, it’s time to move on. At some point you need to put your happiness first before it starts affecting your life outside work…. Or you break your toe kicking a pole.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect the new job to all magic and rainbows, but at this point as long as it’s not where I currently am, we’re good.

I’m still hoping with a bit of luck a few of the drivers will follow me over to the new job. As much time as I spend with the office staff, I’m not really going to miss them. The drivers are the people who make the job and without a doubt they’re the people I will miss the most.

Anyways, I am going and make the most of this my last day off and by that I mean write another blog because I’ll be working when the next post is planned to go live and I’m trying really hard to get back to my 8 posts a month. But before I go I have this question for you; if you left your job today, what would you miss most? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

A Blog About Nothing

This is one of those blogs where I just don’t know what to write about. There’s a lot change coming up in my life, but I feel like it’s too early to start writing about the new job or leaving my current one.

I just had my birthday and although it was fabulous, I don’t have much more to say about it than that. It was a nice reminder that not everyone hates me, which given things at work, sometimes I need that reminder.

I’m still single so not a whole lot to write about on that front. I mean there is some things I would talk about but… I’ll be honest, I’m waiting for things to get a little more juicy before I bore you with all the details.

So that’s everything right now. A little boring, but boring isn’t always a bad thing. With all the change coming up, it’s kind of nice to enjoy life the way it is for a while.

Anyway, I am off to enjoy my lovely holiday, but before I go I will leave you with this question; what is your favorite lazy day activity? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Skulls Are Softer Than Poles

In my first blog back, I said, me not writing may have been a bad idea and as I promised I am going to explain why, but let me just start by saying…. Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. J lol

It’s no secret I hate my job, hell, it feels like I start every blog with that sentence, but lately it’s been getting worse and worse. As many of you know, I work nights, the woman who does my job on the day shift is, to put this in the nicest way I possibly can, completely useless. She never finishes her work, she is messy as all hell and to top it off she’s rude. And somehow all the above is my fault.

I try my hardest to handle the nightmare on days with grace and humor, but it’s easier said than done. Especially since the powers that be decided to get rid the yard controller position so with no yard controller, no planning and no customer services, on nights we’re trying to do 5 people’s jobs between 2 of us. Leaving me very little time as it is, without having to play catch up to little Miss. Useless.

So my previous set of 4 Miss. Useless left me a shit ton of work, the shift manager on duty sent an email questioning why, since when we walked in everyone had said it was a quiet shift. She replied with not 1 but 2 emails slating me. I chose not to reply. The next day, I walked into another email and shit ton of work, this email accused me of not doing my job and I lost it…..big time.

I’m not proud to say it, but I chased after her down the parking lot with the intention of beating the shit out of her. I was pulled back into the office by the shift manager before I was able to kick her skull in. Still angry as all hell, I walked out outside and kicked a pole. I have to wear steel toes for work, so logic would dictate my foot would be fine. Logic lied.

Once I had calmed down, about an hour and half later, it became pretty damn clear I had hurt my foot. Luckily it was my last shift as I was able to get it looked at the next day and it turns out I have broken my little toe.

I guess there are two morals to this story; 1: Don’t hold your anger in, find an outlet and release or otherwise you’ll snap. And 2: When angry skulls are softer than poles, so kick them instead.

I can hear you already, “that’s a horrible thing to say.” No, the horrible thing is that I mean it.

Anyways, I am going to go and ice my foot, and pray to god or whatever may be listening, that I find a new job before I get arrested for murder. But, before I go, answer me this; how do you relieve stress? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

It's My Birthday

I’m going to keep this short because….. It’s my birthday! And I’ve been drinking for 9 hours at this point. Shh, it’s my birthday, it’s allowed.

I just wanted to let you guys know, I got the job J It was a fantastic early birthday present. They called me the same day as the interview and said they were very impressed with me and offered me the job. My trainee salary will be £4,000 more than I am on now so I’m over the moon.

I will admit, I’m little sad about leaving, but I know deep down it’s for the best. I’m just dreading my last shift, money says I will be in tears before I go home. As much as I hate my job, I love the people and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye. Heck, when I told the Giant I was leaving it took everything for me not to break down and cry.

Anyways, today is a happy day, so I am going to go get back to my mojitos because it’s my birthday and sobriety isn’t an option. But before I go I have a question for you; what is your favorite birthday activity? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo