Birthday Weirdos

I’m going through one of those phases where everything that is hitting me on me…..shouldn’t be. It’s gotten
to the point where I’m starting to wonder if it’s not them, it’s me. Am I giving off some form of loser homing signal I’m not aware of?

Forgetting the strange Mr X incident, in the past week I’ve been hit on by not one, but two married truck drivers, a guy I used to flirt with many moons ago, an ex and today joining the pack of weirdos CM has made a reappearance.

What the fuck?

It’s always flattering to get hit on but when the quality of guy is as low as it has been you start to wonder if it’s more of an insult than a compliment.

CM’s reappearance was unexpected if you remember that far back, CM was in a 3 year relationship with someone else when we had our fling. Then I decided he had too many deal breakers and had to break things off. He informed me today, he has finally broken up with his girlfriend. That’s all well and good for him, but it doesn’t change anything, yes, he has one less deal breaker now but he still has far too many to overlook.

Plus, I’m spoken for… sort of. There are no titles with Barney and I yet so theoretically I’m single but I’m not about to play that game. Although I wish he'd realize I’m a woman in high demand (even if it’s by weirdos) and make a make a little more time for me.

The guy is trying and I see that and I appreciate it but its slow going and I turn 27 today; I’m not getting any younger. I’m not about to cry that my biological clock is ticking but I do want to settle down one day and I don’t want to look back and regret wasting my time on someone who couldn’t even spare a minute of his weekend to send me one lousy text message.

That’s my life right now, getting old and being unloved, or at least being unloved by anyone worth being loved by….. I hate my birthdays. They always seem to be the most depressing day of the year. Maybe because I’m always single for my birthday and I’m so far away from home, I just can’t help but feel alone or maybe it’s because getting old just sucks I don’t know. Maybe that’s the question of the blog; do you like your birthday? Why or why not? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Facebook Post

After two days of not hearing from the man I’m meant to be in some form of a relationship with I posted this image to my Facebook wall as a gentle hint. On day 3 while I was at work I spotted a Facebook notification on my phone. When I looked at it, I couldn’t control my mouth from yelling “You cock” a little stunned, my supervisor asked what was up. I explained that I hadn’t heard from Barney in 3 days and the fucker just liked my post. No call, no email, no text just liked the fucking post. Needless to say I wasn’t in the slightest bit impressed. My supervisor on the other hand couldn’t stop laughing and repeatedly called him “fucking legendary”. My supervisor is an idiot.

I didn’t hear from Barney all day 4, day 5 I messaged him saying good morning, asking how his weekend was, being a Monday he messaged me back. It didn’t take him long to ask about the post. Apparently he felt it was a cheap shot because he feels guilty enough that he doesn’t have the time to message me or hang out as much as he’d like.

Forgetting the fact he clearly had the time to be on Facebook and like the post which doesn’t take any longer then typing and sending “good night”, how am I am the bad guy in this? It’s not like the good night thing is news to him, we’ve had this conversation… a lot. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise at this point. 

We managed to talk it out and he understands where I was coming from but the whole thing has left a bit of a nasty taste in my mouth. But I will leave the question with you, was I in the wrong? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Unavailable Men

So it’s been nearly 2 months since I last posted and the good night text message battle rages on. Lucky for him I’m pretty laid back because I’m pretty sure any other woman at this point would have kicked his ass. Hell, if this was any other guy I’m pretty sure I would have kicked his ass by now. But for whatever reason he seems to have a weird effect on me.

I may not be winning the good night battle, but we are talking a lot more throughout the day so it's making the good night battle seem less important, but he still isn’t messaging at all during the weekends and that's grating on me a little. It’s my birthday Saturday and I’m willing to bet I don’t hear from him at all. But if I want to see what’s there I guess that’s something I’m just going to have to deal with.

In other news Mr. X messaged me yesterday….yeah, I didn’t see that coming. It appears he’s been reading my blog and a few questions and a statement for me. His opener was “surely I don’t have a hold over you now?” Nothing like a simple opener eh? He followed that gem up with “I do regret that we never saw things through, you know? I wasn't fair on you with that and I apologise”. I hate to admit this but I shed a tear when I read that. Don’t get wrong, I’ve gotten over all this and have moved on but looking back at it all….it still hurts.

Mr. X and I have a strange relationship, there is a reason things went on as long as they did, we have spark and not just sexually.  We’re able to be very straight spoken and honest with each other even now so when he says “if I was ever alone with you again, I'd jump you” it’s not in itself shocking but its definitely unexpected coming from a now married man.  

Speaking of married men that evening I also got a message from one of my old drivers asking me out…..small problem he’s married. Larger problem for him I’m not interested.

I already have my own unavailable guy (admittedly at least these ones text, but still) and if I wanted one that wasn’t single well, I’d finish what I started with my supervisor…..who I may or may not have made cum on our boss’s desk, but that’s a blog for another day and also pre-Barney so no angry emails please.

I guess that brings me to the question of the blog; what makes married men hit on single ladies? And when was the last time one hit on you? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Limited Time and Weekends

The new guy I am dating (Barney) works away Monday –Friday and then come the weekend he has his son, so as you can imagine that doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to see each other, especially  when you figure in me working 4 on 4 off meaning for about 4 weeks I don’t have a weekend at all.  You would think this would bother me, but it doesn’t.  

The only thing that bothers me is the lack of commutation on the weekends. We can go all weekend without even a single text and as much as I hate to admit it, that saddens me.  If I do say so myself, I’m a fairly low maintenance girlfriend, I don’t need a lot in a relationship to be happy, but I do like the odd text message and I particularly like a good night message.

For me a good night message is special; when I’m snuggled up in bed I tend to miss my partner more and getting that message that that person is thinking about me too is special and always puts me to sleep with a smile on my face.

I’m actually sitting here looking forward to going back to work tomorrow; just so my mind is preoccupied. This is weird for me, I actually find myself missing him throughout the day (not just when I’m lying in bed with nothing better to do) and I find myself smiling like an idiot when we get off the phone or he sends a sweet message. This is all….not me and weird. It’s freaking me out a little if I’m honest.

I suppose I should leave you wonderful people with a question, so I have to ask; what is important to you in a relationship when you don’t get to see each other very often? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Talking Dirty and Hang Ups

I don't normally do this but lets start with the question of the blog; what are your thoughts on talking dirty? Turn off, turn on, can you do it sober or do you need a drink? I'm dying to hear your thoughts on this.

It's a well known fact I can't talk dirty sober, for whatever reason it makes me giggle uncomfortably. It's just not something I am able to do. And I'm probably not much better drunk in all honesty, but when everyone involved is drunk who's to say?

I bring this up because I had another date with Barney last night and it turns out he is very much a dirty talker and well it's not really having the desired effect on me. And to add things he's very keen for me to join in and well..... That's not happening.

Let me preface this by saying I really like this guy and outside of the land of sex everything feels natural and easy. It's just in the bedroom things feel.... forced.

Part of it is my own hang ups and I know it, thanks to the epic shit show that was Mr. X  I'm more cautious and guarded and painfully adware things may not be what they appear. And as you can imagine, that uncertainty doesn't really pair well with great sex.

However, as I was writing that, it hit me just how much I must like this guy. I mean I've had sex since Mr. X, I've had good sex since Mr. X and none of this has been a problem. It's fear of everything feeling right and then on the turn of a dime everything changing, to find out it was nothing more than a physical thing from the beginning. It's that dishonesty I'm scared of. 

That could very well be why when he's saying "I want you to ride my cock" I'm thinking is that all you want? What if I don't? Are you going to leave? Are you going to vanish for months? And instead of feeling turned on by his dirty talk all I'm feeling is pressured. Which is weird because I want to sleep with him, it's not like I'm being pressured into having sex with him, but yet I feel pressured....and yes I'm aware I sound like a crazy person right now. 

I think this crazy person needs to go to bed before she over thinks things and ruins what hopefully could be a meaningful relationship with a great guy.....even if the sex isn't quite there yet. I mean sex isn't everything, right? And thankfully it is improving it's just a process..... hopefully not a long one. Anyways as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxxo

Barney

As promised in my last blog, here are all the Barney details.

Barney is a 36 year old, truck driver who I met at work. Facebook kind of had a helping hand in it too. When I started at my new job his named popped up saying I might know him because we had 8 friends in common. When I looked I noticed they were all drivers from my last job so the next time Barney came into work I asked him about and I found out he use to work there, so that instantly got us talking.

I wasn't interested in dating him off the bat, he has a lot deal breakers working against him. He has kids, and we all know I don't date men who have proven their sperm works. He's been nearly married at least 4 times, although I joke with him that that number is in 100's. He smokes.... He just isn't someone I date.

Plus, we were working together and I can't date someone I work with. There's no rule about it, but working in the field I do, I can't afford to get a reputation. As I've witnessed guys talk more than girls do and working with 60 guys a night, it won't take 30 seconds for that gossip to spread.

But after Barney left I didn't see the harm in agreeing to go to dinner with him. He might not be someone I date, but we always had a laugh working together so I figured why not.

We went out a few weeks ago and I have to admit I had a blast. It was probably the best first date I've had. There was no awkwardness, everything was so easy and I don't think we stopped laughing all night. He was a perfect gentleman too. Well....almost.

Things did get a little heated during our good night kiss but due to circumstance out of our control we didn't take things to the bedroom. But I'll tell you something, it's been 3 weeks since our date and I'm still thinking about that first kiss.

So that's it for now I have some stuff I have to get on with. That brings me to the question of the blog, what was your best first date? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

A Quick Catch Up

I know, I know I've been a horrible blogger, I just haven’t managed to find the right balance of writing, social life and work since I started my new job but I promise I’m working on it.

Anyway, I guess I should fill you in on the current man situation. The CM thing is over, I just couldn't get over him smoking pot. Believe it or not I do have a moral compass and that just never sat right with me. 

I'm still flirting with the supervisor, I haven't done anything with him as of yet but I'm working on it.

Then we have Kumquat one of my old drivers who I had a date with New Years Eve day and then went crazy on me not once but twice. Which is impressive seeing as I only slept with him once. Also, I feel the need to add the man is hung... Like ouch that hurts hung. He was probably my favorite driver, hence giving him a second chance, plus he's he can make me laugh like no one else but he murder any hope he had with the second freak out.

This brings me to the newest guy in the mix who for blogging sake, I'm going to call Barney. He used to work at the new place, but recently left for a new job. It also turns out he use to work at my old job before I did. Which is a little dangerous since we know a lot of the same people. We went out Saturday night and had a good time, so despite him having some deal breakers working against him I do plan on seeing him again.

I will go into more Barney details later, but right now I need to get some sleep before work. I just wanted to say hi and fill you guys in a little bit.

So, since there isn't really a question in this blog, tell me how you guys have been? As always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo