'Tis the Season to Laugh at Couples

Some people get very sad and lonely around the holidays; I’m not one of them. I love being single and anyone who has taken a look at my dating history can fully understand why. But besides dating a whole lot of guy I’d really like to run over with a bus the other reason I love being single especially at the holidays is couples are ridiculous this time of years.

First you have the present stress, you never want to spend less or put less thought into your partner’s gift then they put into yours. This makes people go crazy and I find it hilarious. There are a few couples in my circle of friends; they’re going crazy over this. I happen to have gone Christmas shopping with one of the guys and his girlfriend is dying to find out what he got her. Since I’m a bad person every time she asks me I tell her it could be a coal or it could be a diamond or maybe it’s a pony. I find it hilarious to screw with her....she on the other hand, does not.

Then you have the stupid holiday photos. You either wear ugly sweaters or stupid hats or both and stand in front of tree and smile like you’re not wearing stupid clothing. You couples can enjoy that, I’m going to sit here in my non stupid clothing and laugh at your ridiculous photos that will live forever on the Internet.

Then you have the joy of going to your partners work’s Christmas party. I don’t know about you but I never want to go to my own works Christmas party let alone my boyfriends. So if you ask me, that is reason enough to stay single at the holidays.

The other thing that makes couples ridiculous at the holidays is all the fighting. Christmas a booze heavy time of year and with all that booze comes all those booze fuelled fights. And because I’m a little bit twisted I find it highly amusing. “Your penis is small”, “You’re a whore” “You can go fuck, that fucking thing.”.....”I’m sorry, I love you.” Who needs to TV when you can watch drunken couples, I can’t help but laugh.

I have to ask, what is the upside to being in a relationship this holiday season because to be honest I think of any and if you’re single like me, what do you enjoy about being single during the holiday season? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Dream: Switching Off

I had a strange and disturbing dream last night and because a lot of you share those characteristics (Maxwell) I thought I’d share the dream with you.

The dream took place in a long, dark, museum like hallway with offset lighted pedestals lining either side.  

I was on this purple floating moving platform with Mr. X. He was the museum docent. On each of the lighted pedestals was a half naked gorgeous guy. As we pulled up to each of these gorgeous guys Mr. X would talk about them.

“This is Nick, he’s 28 from BC, he plays hockey and is hung like a horse.”  Then just as I was starting to drool over the guy, Mr. X would say something like “Yes, hung horse but he could never measure up to my personality. Then the light on the pedestal would go black and we’d move on to the next one.

“This Scott, he’s 29 from New York, he’s the lead singer in an up and coming band.” “He can sing but he’ll never have my sense of humour.” Then the light would go off.

And this kept going on and on and on, “this is Jeremy he looks perfect doesn’t he?” “Wrong! He lacks my ability to tell it how it is.” There were about 50 different guys and one after another the lights would turn off. Until I just couldn’t take anymore. I ended up jumping off this moving platform and running for the museum exit (not easy in the dark).

I ended up waking up before I manage to find my way out of there. The dream was so weird and disturbing, I struggled to fall back to sleep after it.

I have no idea what the meaning behind that dream was and I have a feeling I don’t want to know. The female mind is a scary place at the best of times. Have any of you ever had a dream like that?

I’m heading off for the night and fingers cross this doesn’t become a reoccurring dream. Stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo