Fact: The better
looking the guy the more breakable he is.
I don’t know what
causes this to happen but it’s happened so many times now I’m willing to call
it a fact. If anyone out there has any insight to why this may be, please let me
know. It’s one of those mysteries of life that is crying out for an answer.
So now let me explain
the story behind the latest guy I broke.
So you know I’ve been
on a dating site spite mission and it hasn’t been going to plan. All the site
seems to be turning up is freaks and stalkers. With one exception, a gorgeous
guy I use to work with about 5 or 6 years ago. For the sake of this blog I am
going to call him Zach.
Zach worked on checkouts
briefly before moving to another department. A man on checkout is almost
unheard of, so when there is a guy around, the ladies turn into teenage girls
talking about Justin Bieber. But sadly the guy normally turns out to be more
Shrek then Prince Charming. So when I heard the girls swooning over Zach I didn’t
think much of it.
Then I saw him, long
blonde hair, cute smile, gave off the stoner crowd vibe not my type at all but even
I’ll admit he was damn good looking. Then he opened his mouth and coherentness
(yes that’s a word now) came out, I was impressed, gorgeous smile, nice down to
earth guy, hot body, I wanted some. And so did most of the checkout girls, even
some of the married ones had some very non –PG comments to say about him.
Minus a little
flirting on my part nothing happen while we were working together. Then while
dealing with a stalker type I saw his picture come up and I must admit when I
saw his picture there wasn’t a pure thought in my head. I didn’t join the site
for sex that was the last thing I was looking for but when it comes to him that’s
a different story (one that is in the adult section of most book stores).
His message was about
work and people we worked with all friendly non sexual stuff. I got the vibe he
wasn’t into me that way. But to my pleasant surprise I was wrong. Boy was I
wrong. Apparently he had noticed me and had some very nice things to say. Things
that turned me an interesting shade of red, I was home, in bed alone and he had
me actually coving my face with my arms trying to hide the blushing, from whom
I don’t know. He’s definitely a smooth talker.
Things were on the verge
of getting a little risqué when he sent me two pictures at which point my brain
broke, and all I could think about was his hot naked body pressed against mine
and his lips exploring my body. For a brief moment I think I got a glimpse into
how it must be like inside the male mind. Sadly I can’t share the actual
pictures with you guys but you can use your imaginations or any good porn site.
Once I regained some non-sexual
thoughts in my head the conversation continued and then abruptly stalled. The
reason it stalled was he wanted a picture of my ass. I don’t like my ass; it’s
not my best feature. So getting a picture I'm willing to send to someone I
want to fuck is impossible. You can’t just send crappy pictures you don’t
like to a man you want in you....that story doesn’t have a happy ending (then
again nor does this one).
Since he didn’t get a
picture he ended our conversation there and hasn’t been heard from since, leaving
me to officially declare him broken or maybe dead.
I know what you’re
thinking if the guy couldn’t last 24 hours there’s no hope for a relationship, and I agree with you but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was looking for
penis. The funny part is that night I had dream about him and me in bed, he was
laying behind me with his strong arms warped around me kissing my neck, our
naked bodies pressed against each other, his rock hard...... and I still didn’t
get laid.
I couldn’t even get
any in my dreams! How pathetic is that? Maybe its best I don’t sleep with him
it might ruin the fantasy but given the chance we all know I would.
So I’ll leave the
question with you, would you sleep with your fantasy or do you think it would ruin
things? Let me know in the comment box below also if anyone knows why good looking
guys are so breakable please tell me. As always stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
Besides the fact it
took him a week to reply to me (which isn’t cool and almost caused a blog about
us turning those nice guys into douche bags) it went ok. It was nice to catch
up with him and there may have been a little harmless flirting going on. But
after a couple of days messaging back and forth he vanished without a trace,
and after two unanswered messages (which contained questions) and 8 days, I am
declaring him officially dead. 
