Saturday 25 August 2012

Zach The Breakable

Fact: The better looking the guy the more breakable he is.

I don’t know what causes this to happen but it’s happened so many times now I’m willing to call it a fact. If anyone out there has any insight to why this may be, please let me know. It’s one of those mysteries of life that is crying out for an answer.

So now let me explain the story behind the latest guy I broke.

So you know I’ve been on a dating site spite mission and it hasn’t been going to plan. All the site seems to be turning up is freaks and stalkers. With one exception, a gorgeous guy I use to work with about 5 or 6 years ago. For the sake of this blog I am going to call him Zach.

Zach worked on checkouts briefly before moving to another department. A man on checkout is almost unheard of, so when there is a guy around, the ladies turn into teenage girls talking about Justin Bieber. But sadly the guy normally turns out to be more Shrek then Prince Charming. So when I heard the girls swooning over Zach I didn’t think much of it.

Then I saw him, long blonde hair, cute smile, gave off the stoner crowd vibe not my type at all but even I’ll admit he was damn good looking. Then he opened his mouth and coherentness (yes that’s a word now) came out, I was impressed, gorgeous smile, nice down to earth guy, hot body, I wanted some. And so did most of the checkout girls, even some of the married ones had some very non –PG comments to say about him.

Minus a little flirting on my part nothing happen while we were working together. Then while dealing with a stalker type I saw his picture come up and I must admit when I saw his picture there wasn’t a pure thought in my head. I didn’t join the site for sex that was the last thing I was looking for but when it comes to him that’s a different story (one that is in the adult section of most book stores).

His message was about work and people we worked with all friendly non sexual stuff. I got the vibe he wasn’t into me that way. But to my pleasant surprise I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. Apparently he had noticed me and had some very nice things to say. Things that turned me an interesting shade of red, I was home, in bed alone and he had me actually coving my face with my arms trying to hide the blushing, from whom I don’t know. He’s definitely a smooth talker.

Things were on the verge of getting a little risqué when he sent me two pictures at which point my brain broke, and all I could think about was his hot naked body pressed against mine and his lips exploring my body. For a brief moment I think I got a glimpse into how it must be like inside the male mind. Sadly I can’t share the actual pictures with you guys but you can use your imaginations or any good porn site.

Once I regained some non-sexual thoughts in my head the conversation continued and then abruptly stalled. The reason it stalled was he wanted a picture of my ass. I don’t like my ass; it’s not my best feature. So getting a picture I'm willing to send to someone I want to fuck is impossible. You can’t just send crappy pictures you don’t like to a man you want in you....that story doesn’t have a happy ending (then again nor does this one).

Since he didn’t get a picture he ended our conversation there and hasn’t been heard from since, leaving me to officially declare him broken or maybe dead.

I know what you’re thinking if the guy couldn’t last 24 hours there’s no hope for a relationship, and I agree with you but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was looking for penis. The funny part is that night I had dream about him and me in bed, he was laying behind me with his strong arms warped around me kissing my neck, our naked bodies pressed against each other, his rock hard...... and I still didn’t get laid.

I couldn’t even get any in my dreams! How pathetic is that? Maybe its best I don’t sleep with him it might ruin the fantasy but given the chance we all know I would.

So I’ll leave the question with you, would you sleep with your fantasy or do you think it would ruin things? Let me know in the comment box below also if anyone knows why good looking guys are so breakable please tell me. As always stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch  


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