Some jobs can be horrible but the people make it fantastic, other jobs are fantastic but the people make it unbearable.... then you have my job.
This week I started 4 weeks of unpaid work in an attempt to beef up my CV or at the very least skim over the reason I left my last job. The second I say “I hurt my back” and that’s why I left, the person interviewing me goes all non-hirey. It’s like a bad magic trick, it makes jobs disappear.
My hope is by doing this work I can show my back wouldn’t be a problem for any future employer. That’s a lie but they can’t argue with proof. The fact it’s taking a large amount of pills (they’re prescription, don’t worry) and biofreeze to make it through the day is between you and me.
The problem is this proof/job is.......well....let me tell you about it. The first 3 days, I sat alone in a large empty blue room looking out a window wondering if I jumped would I be hurt bad enough to go home....my conclusion was no, no I wouldn’t. I didn’t have any actual work to do. On day 1 I was told to research something, which took me all of 2 hours to do. And that was that for 3 days.
Day 4 things appeared in the room so now I was alone in a large blue room not a large empty blue room and I was given some actual work to do. I was given a large pink folder and told to copy everything out word for word. Not my idea of a fun time but it was something to do. However I was still all alone.
Actually that’s not 100% true; they’re other people who work there and they’re awesome and super funny but they work on the ground floor, the second floor (if you can call it that) is the managers and then you have me, freaking Ann Frank, in what feels like an attic or as I call it a spacious jail cell.
But thankfully the lovely ground floor people have made a point to come visit me in my cell so I don’t go mad from the silence but for the most part my cell is still a very lonely place.
Day 5 I continued with the word for word typing and came up with a new escape plan, since jumping was clearly never going to work. There is this pink bus that comes by so I decided I could jump, land on the bus hold on for dear life and ride off into the wild grey yonder (the job is in town, its concrete for as far as the eye can see)
Just for the record I am aware there’s a door I could use but....where’s the fun in that?
Luckily Monday is bank holiday so I only have 14 working days left before I’m freed from my cell. Not that I’m counting or anything......There’s an app for that J
So if you were me what creative means of escape would you use? Let me know in the comment box below and who know, maybe I’ll use one of them. As always my dears stay and escape prison safe.
The Honest Bitch