Tuesday 11 October 2011

Twitter Stalker

I was having a conversation the other day with this Internet random. Ok, at this point he isn’t so random but he’s still a relative stranger. We were on Twitter chatting about film and TV mostly when I heard my phone go off. I looked down to see who it was and to my shock and horror I saw it was a text from a ghost of boyfriends past.

This is never a good thing. I do my very best to make sure when I’m finished with a guy he never wants to see or speak to me again.  So when I see an ex’s name pop-up I know I’m in trouble.

I looked at the message to see what the asshole was contracting me for. I was thinking law suit, warning me of the hit man he hired or maybe he was pregnant. I was a little relieved when all it said was “who’s the new man in your life?”

I was relieved but also confused. I’m single, so the only thing with a penis in my life is buzzy the rampant rabbit. So I replied back with just a question mark. He wasn’t worth risking chipping my nail polish over.

He quickly replied back with the name of the Internet random. This meant one of two things, he’s either friends with said random (which is unlikely because he has no friends) or he’s stalking my Twitter feed. Don’t you just love the digital age?

This, my dear friends, is why they call me a bitch, I simply replied with “Oh, he’s not new. He’s the guy I was imagining you were when we were sleeping together.”

Personally I thought it was funny, he on the other hand....always had a bad sense of humor.

What did he expect? He contacts me after 3 years and wants to know about my love life. Did he think I’d welcome him with open arms? Not a chance. I took the opportunity to teach the little bastard a lesson.... maybe he’ll think twice before he puts his nose in my business again.

I don’t believe in staying friends with ex’s. People breakup because they can no longer stand to be around the other person, staying friends is basically just removing the sex from the relationship. When did taking the sex out of anything make it better?

See my point? It’s kind of crazy when you think about it.

Anyways, that’s my rant on the matter. Have a great night and as always stay safe.


The Honest Bitch


  1. Buzzy? Couldn't give a better name?

  2. That may be why they call you a bitch, but that's why we love you x

  3. Your poor ex never stood a chance did he?

  4. You're luck you have a vagina. There are few things worse than having the "pregnancy fear" sweats when someone you slept with calls you out of the blue.

  5. Internet random or future sex partner?

  6. So do tell then how good looking is this random?

  7. and by that we mean how big is his penis? LOL

  8. I generally remain on good terms with my ex's largely because I don't stop caring about them just because we aren't dating anymore, I'm usually always there for people who I really care about.

    Now, sometimes, yes, things end badly and I have had times when I have lost contact and we still hate eachother, it happens, but I do firmly believe that if someone was worth caring about at one time, they probably still are after the relationship is over.

    However, that doesn't mean I don't agree with your actions. ;)


  9. "..oh he is the one I was thinking of.... He has always lacked a sense of humor" awesome.

  10. Haha, now that is funny. I get freaked out by technology, nothing is private these days! Did you ever find out how he knew about this random twitter guy?


  11. Ha! Hilarious! Serves him right! Nothing wrong with being a bitch, especially when you're dealing with an asshole! LOL!