Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts

Thursday 13 June 2013

My Pony Needs a Friend

Yesterday I was out to lunch with my step grandmother and mom, and since my step grandmother is hard of hearing and frankly, even after 13 years, still doesn’t understand my accent it’s always a very quiet affair. I don’t really mind though because it gives me a chance to indulge in my guilt pleasure of eavesdropping. And if you follow me on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) you’ll know yesterday I was sat next to a gem.

I knew I was in for a treat when the first thing she did was to sit down and take off her shoes and put her feet up on a chair. I was a little judgemental when she came in wearing a sweatshirt, white horseback riding leggings and pretentious girl up hair but the untying her shoes thing confirmed it for me.

As they were looking at their menus she told her dad “my pony needs a friend”. Her dad just sat there and said “oh really”, she then continued “yeah my pony is lonely and needs a friend; I just want an Arabian one.” He then asked her “how much do you think that will be” and drank a whole lot from his pint glass. I was just sat there trying not to laugh out loud.

She then moved on to needing £75 to get her hair cut, and then talking about school being over so she wanted to have a “small party”....only 75 of her closest friends. Then when their food arrived she said “oh and my pony’s friend needs a stable.” The dad’s response was “how much”. I would have personally just back handed her but I had good parents.

Then while I was enjoying my chocolate fudge cake she was talking to her Dad about the new car he was getting her. She asked what her budget was and he said “there isn’t one.” All I could think is “parenting you’re doing it wrong.”

But well done to the young lady who is on her way to becoming a world class gold digger; But after managing to land herself an Arabian pony, a stable, £75, a party for 75 of her closest friends and a car during the course of one meal; who can blame her.

What was the last thing that made you questions someone’s parenting style? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

The Honest Bitch

Sunday 25 September 2011

Pet Names: Food Edition

I’m horrible with names so I rely heavily on pet names. And since I’m easily bored they aren’t always normal pet names. Hun and sweetheart just don’t cut it for me. Right name I’m big on banana and blueberry. Yes, I know, I’m strange.

Because of my odd pet names I’ve been given a mission to see if there are any food related pet names I can’t get away with. This was after I called someone Neapolitan ice cream and the person didn’t bat an eyelash.

So far there have only been two names that have given me a slight problem, they are “fluffy pink cotton candy” if I hadn't called a guy that it may have gone better and “marshmallow”. No one likes being called marshmallow. If you don’t believe me give it a try and see how well it goes over. I did get away with it after a little explaining.

On the list of names I got away and probably shouldn’t have is lobster, puffer fish, donut, chocolate cream pie and rump roast. Oh yes I’m that freaking adorable I can call someone rump roast without them saying a word.

I don’t know why but food pet names always come off sounding cute. It’s just one of life’s little mysteries. It’s a lot of fun too. I think everyone should give this a try and see how far you can push it without getting in trouble.

Before I go, can you guys think of any non-cute food pet names? It’s harder than you might think. Anyways I’m off as always stay safe.


The Honest Bitch