Perception

For as long as I can remember I’ve always had exceptional perception skills. I tend to pick up on things that others wouldn’t. I also have a habit of picking up on thing before the person themselves realize how they’re feeling. My perception skill are so good it’s often been suggested that I’m an empath. I don’t buy into that. I just listen to people and take notice when things, no matter how minor, change about them.

When you pick up on people’s emotions sometimes you see warning signs in people’s behaviour. This is all well and good if the person knows how they’re feeling but people like to deny their feelings and when I can see there is a problem or they're heading for one this can be a challenge.

I don’t want to see any of my friends hurt or overwhelmed and when I see these little warning signs I want to help and prevent it. I only have good intensions but because people sometimes can’t see what I see or are deny it they can take offence to anything I have to say.

I can’t begin to tell you how much it pisses me off when people snap at me because they just don’t want to admit they’re overwhelmed. When I get my kindness thrown back at me part of me just thinks “Fuck it, let them crash and burn”. It really gets to me when I trying to help someone and in returned I get bitched at. It’s not my fault you’re having problems, so why take it out on me?

Don’t get me wrong I’m always there if a friend needs to talk or just vent but I won’t be blamed or yelled at for things at have nothing to do with me. I’m happy to help and good the extra mile for my friends but sometimes I wonder why I bother. I mean there is no one there for me when I have a bad day. It just grates on me sometimes that the give and take in my friendships isn’t anywhere close to being even.

It’s not helping matters that my patience is almost nonexistent at the moment. My back pain has reappeared. I’ve gone from being nearly pain free for 3 months to being in 24 hours of consistent pain. Back pain is nothing new to me, but when it goes from nothing to consistent it just takes a while for my body to stop crying about it and just deal with it. So I think I may be a little touchier then normal too which isn’t a great thing.

Anyways my dears I’m heading off to watch the game. Have a good night and as always stay safe.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxoxo