Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Damned if I do and damned if I don’t

I slept maybe an hour last night someone was hurt by something I said, actually more by the way in which it was said or not said as the case may be. I truly felt like I was living in damned if I do and damned if I don’t land.

Things weren’t said because my dear friend Neal is a very busy man. I know he is the sort of person who will make time to talk but I just don’t feel important enough to take up his time. He has a lot on his plate and I feel bad adding to that.

I’m damned if I do fill him in on the little thing because I feel like I should let him get on with what he needs to do. I feel bad for needed to chat to him. And I’m damned if I don’t tell him anything because it looks bad, and he ends up hurt and pissed off.

I just can’t catch a break. I’ve been single of almost a year and I’m still getting in trouble with men. The sad thing in this case I don’t even get makeup sex. Hell I don’t even get a makeup hug :-)

We managed to talk things out last night and we’re fine but I’m not fine with myself. Stupid decisions and I should have handle things differently. I’ll always be my harshest critic. My biggest strength and weakness is I’ll replay things over and over until I’ve learned all I can. Great way to learn but I like my sleep. Luckily I rarely make the same mistake to twice.

I do feel really bad that my words hurt someone I care about. Yeah, it was the way I felt at the time but I didn’t mean it to sound as mean as it may have come across. I should have taken a moment to see it through his eyes and I didn’t. I am sorry for that.

Anyways my dears, I have things I need to get back to. Stay safe guys and remember to think before you type.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch

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