Saturday, 7 August 2010

Good and Evil

Lately I’ve been doing a lot for thinking about good and evil. I’ve been made to feel like a bad person just because I happen to have slept with a few people in my 9 years of sexual activity.

I will not deny the fact I’ve slept with a larger then average number of people. I will not deny I’ve had a few one night stands in my time. I also will not deny I’ve done a few kinky things in my time. However I do have a problem with being treated like dirt because of it. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with sex. As long as both people a consenting and it’s done in a safe manor, it’s not a big deal.

I was raised mainly by mother and despite going to church every Sunday she was real with me and said “when you decided to have sex just make sure you’re ready and it’s with someone you will not regret.” I followed her advice and unlike a lot of people I know I don’t regret my first time. I’m still good friends with him. I wouldn’t change a thing. I guess once I had sex for the first time my attitude was kind of what the big deal and choose not to be as stubborn about the matter. That was a long time ago though. I don’t regret a single thing I’ve done, it’s all helped to make me, me. Saying that, in the past few years I’ve become pickier, I’m more aware of my number these days.

I guess you can sex is my deadly sin. I wouldn’t call it lust. Despite that I would say I’m a good girl. I’ve never done any drugs, I’ve never as much as trying a cigarette and I only have a few drinks a year. I will admit I sometimes have a mouth on me but it is something I can control. I’ve never had a boyfriend’s mom not like me, I’ve never been arrested, and hell I’ve never even had detention. Ok yes some of the reason I’ve never been in trouble is because I’ve never got caught but that just proves I know there is a time and place for everything.

I’m not a bad person, I was a student rep, elected in the SU, I’ve been on protests, I’ve been a training buddy, a member of the colleague circle and I’ve been a part disciplinary reviews. People who I’ve fallen out with over the years will even tell you I’m a great friend. I could be mad at you but if you need me I’m always there. I’m that friend that gets calls a 2, 3am and no matter the time of day, I always have time for someone who needs me.

I know the line between good and evil in thin but I’ve always thought I’ve managed just stay on the side of good. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not always nice but I’m always me and no one can ask for more than that.

Queen Bee x

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