As anyone who follows
me on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) knows yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment and while I was
waiting to see the doctor the waiting room was a complete freak show. And since
my doctor was running a half hour late, I had plenty of time to wonder about
the state of the human race.
The first freak in
this freak show was “Nail Man” this guy was sat in the waiting room filing his
nails. How he has any nails at all is beyond me. From the time I noticed what
he was doing and the time he went in to see the doctor was 20 minutes.
Forgetting the fact we were at a doctor’s office who files their nails for 20
minutes straight?
Next in the freak
show was “Technophobe Old Ladies”. Who were sat there talking about “something
called Facebook” and how it’s “daft”. They were talking about how stupid and
unsafe it is. Way to talk about something you know. Facebook is only as unsafe as you make it,
something they’d know if they had any knowledge at all about what they were
talking about. The fact they were talking about stuff they know nothing about
kind of pisses me off. A good rule for life (no matter how old you are) is if
you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t talk about it!
The final freak in
this show was a little old Jamaican lady who I could hardly understand who I’m
going to call “Medical History Lady”. She was shouting about something while
she was checking in at reception. She then continued to shout loudly as she sat
herself down next to me (Oh joy, oh bliss).
Her loudness
continues as she talked at me about her leg and hip hurting, she went on to
tell me the doctors are clueless and how they have been screwing her around. At
which point the person on the other side of her moved. She then felt the need
to tell me she wasn’t feeling well and her “spit was like condensed milk”. At
which point I was praying for a hazmat suit. She then when on to tell me how
she is old and not long for this world and the doctors don’t know how her dad
died and how she’s going to go the same way. I was busy wishing for a gun, a
chainsaw.....anything.
Just when I was
wondering how sharp Nail Man’s file was, my doctor finally called me in. I’ve
never been so happy to see someone. There is only so much crazy a person can
take before they lose it and let’s face facts I’m closer to the edge then most
to begin with.
So it’s your turn to
tell me what waiting room freak shows you’ve been in? Let me know in the
comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.
Love,
The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo
