As anyone who follows me on twitter (@TheHonestBitch) knows yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment and while I was waiting to see the doctor the waiting room was a complete freak show. And since my doctor was running a half hour late, I had plenty of time to wonder about the state of the human race.
The first freak in this freak show was “Nail Man” this guy was sat in the waiting room filing his nails. How he has any nails at all is beyond me. From the time I noticed what he was doing and the time he went in to see the doctor was 20 minutes. Forgetting the fact we were at a doctor’s office who files their nails for 20 minutes straight?
Next in the freak show was “Technophobe Old Ladies”. Who were sat there talking about “something called Facebook” and how it’s “daft”. They were talking about how stupid and unsafe it is. Way to talk about something you know. Facebook is only as unsafe as you make it, something they’d know if they had any knowledge at all about what they were talking about. The fact they were talking about stuff they know nothing about kind of pisses me off. A good rule for life (no matter how old you are) is if you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t talk about it!
The final freak in this show was a little old Jamaican lady who I could hardly understand who I’m going to call “Medical History Lady”. She was shouting about something while she was checking in at reception. She then continued to shout loudly as she sat herself down next to me (Oh joy, oh bliss).
Her loudness continues as she talked at me about her leg and hip hurting, she went on to tell me the doctors are clueless and how they have been screwing her around. At which point the person on the other side of her moved. She then felt the need to tell me she wasn’t feeling well and her “spit was like condensed milk”. At which point I was praying for a hazmat suit. She then when on to tell me how she is old and not long for this world and the doctors don’t know how her dad died and how she’s going to go the same way. I was busy wishing for a gun, a chainsaw.....anything.
Just when I was wondering how sharp Nail Man’s file was, my doctor finally called me in. I’ve never been so happy to see someone. There is only so much crazy a person can take before they lose it and let’s face facts I’m closer to the edge then most to begin with.
So it’s your turn to tell me what waiting room freak shows you’ve been in? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.
The Honest Bitch