Showing posts with label Bears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bears. Show all posts

Wednesday 2 January 2013

Bad Boy Bear

In Mr. X’s Q&A blog he impelled he was a “bad boy”. Bad boy my ass, there is nothing farther from the truth. He has no piercing, no tattoos, he’s never done drugs, he doesn’t smoke and in his 30 odd years on this planet the man has never touched a drop of alcohol. The dude could be a freaking Mouseketeer. 

However like most Disney starlets Mr. X has a problem....he’s attitude. I guess it’s better than the normal Disney starlet problems, I mean it could be worse; he could be pulling a Lohan.

Saying that Mr. X doesn’t have the average person’s mood swings I actually call them “bear moments”. Which spices of bear you get depends on the day.

Sometimes you get a Black Bear; where your best defence is to talk calmly and slowly walk away.

Sometimes you get a Koala Bear;  he appears to be cute and cuddly but you should always be careful of the sharp teeth and claws.

Other days he’s like a Panda Bear; there's an, eat, shoots and leaves joke to be made there but we all know I’m far too classy for that. (Stop laughing J)

Sometimes he’s a Grizzly Bear; if he gets within 25 feet, you should spray him with pepper spray for your own personal safety.

Sometime he’s a Polar Bear Cub; really cute to look at but you really shouldn’t touch him.

Sometime he’s a full grown Polar Bear; known to stalk and kill humans just because he’s hungry.

Other days he’s a Brown Bear; well known for his aggressive behaviour, indifferent to humans and likely to kill you for his own personal enjoyment. Your best bet is to play dead and be thankful he’s not going to eat you. (There's a joke there but I’m not touching it with 39 and a half foot pole (bonus points if you can name that song))

Anyways I’m going to end this ridiculous post and head to bed (I’m over tired, can you tell?), so which bear moment do you think I’m going to get when he reads this, let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo