I’ve always seen
blogging as a form of therapy, and right now I am hoping it’ll work in a similar
way. I don’t really want to write or
talk about what’s going on, but I need to do something because my sanity is feeling
really fragile.
My mother’s latest
test results were poor. Nothing was tracking where it should be. Her liver function
is down. She has fluid around the lungs and the doctor aren’t happy with how
her heart is functioning. I’m not sure if you know this, but the number 1 cause
of death in people with kidney disease isn’t kidney failure; its other organs, normally
the heart or lungs that stop functioning due to a build-up of fluids in the
body.
My mom is handling
things like she always does, she’s a rock. I, on the other hand, am holding things
together just enough to get by. I am struggling, a lot, and I am not sure what
I am meant to do to snap out of this. I want to enjoy what time I have left
with her but seeing her like this is hard. It’s funny, she’s carrying on and I’m
the one struggling to get out of bed.
Anyways, my
eyes are doing that thing where water floods out of them at a rate that is embarrassing, so I am going to go and get ready for work. I’m not going to leave with you
any questions. Just remember to stay safe.
Love,
The Honest
Bitch
xoxo
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