I always get a lot of questions about Mr. X and my relationship, and I get it, we have a weird fucking relationship. I’d be curious too. A lot of you were here and went through it all with me and to think I’d still have anything to do with him boggles your minds. I completely understand and if I were in your shoes…. I’d question my sanity too.
I can categorically say, if he ever actually had the title of boyfriend, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. He'd be dead to me, no second changes, or thirds. He’d be dead. He’s survived all this time on a technicality.
Because our whole relationship has existed in this
grey area, I’ve been able to tell myself
the feeling I felt were unjust. I had no right to feel that way. I’m a
perfectly sane, crazy person so I know the above to be untrue and I have every
right to feel whatever I felt. However, it allowed to get to a place where I
could try and understand the other side and forgive and more importantly grow.
Over the years, I’ve become incredibly grateful to Mr. X for the growth. I know without a doubt; I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t for the saga that was
him. Don’t get me wrong,
l ife isn’t perfect. But I’d be married to the wrong man, living a life I didn’t
want, if it wasn’t for him. In a really fucked up way he saved me. I was headed
down the wrong path, one I knew was wrong for me, but didn’t have the strength to
end it. Surviving him gave me that strength.
Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome, but I will always have a soft spot for Mr. X and for whatever reason he’ll probably always have an interest in me. I’m not sure what his reasons are, I stopped trying to figure out his motives years ago. But it’s almost like he has feeling, I suspect it’s a software glitch.
I hope this answered some of your questions, and hopefully didn’t raise too many more. My simple summation is, he’s a friend, that shouldn’t be a friend, that is a friend.
Anyways, I am going to go, I have a sexy man I have to message back, look forward to those details in my next post. But, before I go I have this question for you, do you have any friends, that shouldn’t be friends, that are friends? Let me know your stories in the comment box below. And as always, stay and play safe.
The Honest Bitch