Friday 4 June 2021

Questioning Everything

Have you ever been at the point of life where you’re questioning everything? Your dating choices, your living situation, you’re work-life; basically, your no longer sure of anything? That’s where I am right now.

I was getting ready to move out before my stepdad's diagnosis and I’ve had to put that on hold while things are found out. I am feeling rather stuck. I spent so long looking after my mom and now this. I am feeling like my life is constantly being put on hold to look after others. I know it’s the right thing to do and it's what I should be doing. It doesn’t make it suck any less. I am 34 now, my hopes of a family of my own are slipping away. 

Dating just sucks. Lawyer Dude is a dead end and I know it. I am not about to change it right now, but the thing whole thing is a giant waste of time. Plus the amount of baggage he carries just isn’t for me. I knew I didn’t want a guy who had kids, this confirms that. I worried I wouldn’t be a priority, hell I am not even a consideration.  

Work is actually ok. I am good at my job. No, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but it isn’t horrible all the time either. My issue is promotion. There is a carrot being dangled and I don’t like it. I will not be getting the promotion, I know where it’s going, we all do. So why dangle it? The thing is, I always want to do my best. Put my best foot forward, and in this role, that’s very hard work. And it’s hard work for, what will be nothing. Part of me wants to just throw the towel in and walk away, but my pride won’t allow it.

Anyways, this is my last day off before I head back to work, so I am going to go enjoy it, and by enjoying it I mean I am going to go take a nap. Thank you for letting me vent. As always my dears, stay and play safe.


The Honest Bitch 

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