Saturday 14 July 2012

What Women Want

There’s one question I get asked time and time again, be it through email, twitter or even in person and that question is “what do women want?” And truth be told we don’t really know what we want a lot of time. And when we do know, it changes based on our mood, hormone levels and who’s asking.

It really isn't a straight forward type question, but there are few things I can tell you that will help you stay in our good books while we’re busy deciding what it is we want.

Remember Random Milestones- It’s a good rule of the thumb to know our birthday and anniversary but trying remembering some of the small things too like our first kiss or the first time we said I love you. As stupid as it sounds women just melt over that stuff.

Return Our Messages- Women gauge how into us you are by your replies or lack thereof. Once again we know it’s crazy but that’s how the female brain works, so reply to us and “k” or “ok” doesn’t count.

Women Love Intelligent Men- And your world of knowledge about sports doesn’t count. We like to have meaningful conversations and decisions. If you can’t hold your own in a conversation you’re screwed and not in the fun way.

Be Honest- If you lie to us we will find out and make your life a living hell, we specialize in that shit. So save yourself a few headaches and just be honest with us.

Have a Sense Of Humor- A great sense of humour is important to all women, you can win a girl over by making her laugh and you can lose one by failure to do so.

Listen To Her- This one is really important. Actually listen to her don’t just pretend actually do it. You don’t have to offer advice or try and fix everything just listen.

Be Generous- Gifts are never frowned upon, it doesn’t have to be big just thoughtful, pick some flowers, teddy bear, surprise her with dinner or dancing. Put some effort in and don’t be tight wad, tight wads never get laid.

Keep Promises- No matter what happens, keep your promises, if there is a chance you may not be able to come through with something don’t promise us. You’re only as good as your word.

Kiss Her for No Reason- Before/during/after sex doesn’t count. Kiss her when you come in a room, kiss her while she’s cooking dinner. Kiss her when you’re not trying to get laid!

Hold Her Hand – There is something very sweet about walking hand in hand with someone you love or just holding hands under the table while you’re out to dinner with friends. It goes a long way to show how you feel.

Take up an Activity with her- .......Outside of the bedroom. Bowling, tennis, antiquing, anything the two of you can do together. And preferably something neither of you do already.

Be A Man- Do man things, change a tire, build something, do something that requires testosterone. There is nothing hotter than a man with a little dirty on his face, a little on sweaty side just grrrrr (said in the I’m going to rip your clothes off way not the I’m going to kill you way.)

Never Follow a Women- There is nothing less hot then a man following a woman. And more importantly a lot of women don’t want to lead. There is something very attractive about a man talking control.

Keep the Power- A lot of guy will give the power to the women in an attempt to gain approval. Stop it! Man the fuck up. Keep the power and use it. Power is sexy, remember that.

Don’t Need A Women- Staying on the power is sexy theme. Needy men, men who need relationships, men who lack a pair of balls are just sad. Most women will pity you not love you.

Protect Us – This doesn’t mean fight our fights or hit a guy in a bar, this mean make us feel safe. Put your arm around us when creeps are hitting on us, get up in the middle of the night when we hear a noise. Make us feel safe and protected.

Look After Us When We’re Sick – This one will get you massive bonus marks. There is nothing sweeter than a guy taking care of his sick girlfriend and NOT complaining about it. Making soup, just cuddling it means the world to us.

Time for the last and final rule that will help keep you in our good books.

Have Eyes For Only Her- Guys tend to suck at this final rule. I’ve been on dates where guys have gotten whip lash from how fast their head has spun following a girl with big fake boobs. Then they always complain about foot pain afterwards. It may have something to do with me stomping on it but I can’t be sure.

Just don’t do it! Have eyes for your girlfriend or date and her alone. Make her feel like she is the only girl who matters. If you can do that it’s a safe bet that you’ll be what she wants.

What do you guys think, do you agree with my list and is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always stay and play safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch


  1. This is perfect and totally accurate! And where exactly do I find this man? Sorry but I am crying and I am not a cry-baby. It's just seeing a list of all the things my husband isn't.

  2. so in other words, women are stupid. Got it!

    1. The only stupid women are the ones that are willing to put up with you.

  3. But there are few things I can tell you:
    *Lists 18 things*
    Is there anything I missed?

    The real question is, "is there anything you didn't miss."
    After reading this I feel like just giving up...

    1. Don't give up, it sounds a lot but it really isn't. Just be a strong man,loyal and honest and you'll be fine

    2. Oh, and make sure you make lots of money - because I can tell you from experience HONEST AND LOYALTY DON'T MEAN JACK SHIT. She will leave you for someone with more money who can take her all the places Disney Cartoons and Shitty TV programs have made her think she needs to go to be happy! FUCK IT!!!

    3. It's not being bitter when it's the truth. Woman are selfish, end of story.

  4. What a crock of shit. This entire blog reeks of spoiled princess syndrome, what self-entitled bitch expects the man to do all this? Why should I? For your body? If I want just a body, I can pay for it, and probably get far better than what you're offering

    Be Generous - Why the fuck should I spend my hard earned cash for you? You know the idea of seeing someone is because you LIKE/LOVE them as a person. Not what they can provide for you. How about you get rid of spoiled princess syndrome? A man shouldn't need to buy your ass gifts to keep your slutty head focused on him.

    Be Honest - A rule that a lot of women should follow instead of leading men on. Men are probably more inclined to be direct with a woman than a woman is to men. Ever had some bitch ignore you're phone calls or texts hoping you'll take the hint? That's because they don't have the balls to upright tell you. More women do this than me.

    Have Eyes For Only Her - I think most men will follow this rule once most females get rid of their fucking cling-on male guys that are "just friends" to boost your ego, you attention whore. We know exactly what you bitches are doing, we're not stupid. A mature person with high-confidence shouldn't NEED validation that they're good looking or a great person by having orbiters, it should come from THEMSELVES.

    Never Follow a Women - Nothing gets more annoying than some passive woman that refuses to take lead and expects to be spoonfed everything everywhere. You're an adult. Not a child. Why would I want a woman where I have to do all the decision making like I'm her father, instead of one that's a mature adult who contributes just as much as I do? MASSIVE turn off. I don't want to date a fucking child. I want to date an adult.

    Staying on power - Stop with your petty games. Relationships shouldn't be about control. If you're a mature enough person, they should be about commitment, understanding and working together. Not power plays. Power plays is for people that have no fucking clue what a proper relationship is.

  5. Fucking rights Tony.


    1. Man I'm waaaaayyy too jaded to weigh in on this.



    You want a REAL woman? Let her come to you. It's the only way you know that a girl isn't playing bullshit games.

  7. If you are a guy reading this... I am here to tell you that the only possible way you will be happy during your quest for love is if you BE YOURSELF 100% COMPLETELY. And if the person you are dating doesn't like that - THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF.

    If you don't want to "Keep the power" then don't fucking keep the power, if the person you are dating takes that as a weakness and tries to manipulate you THEN TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF.

    If you aren't a QUOTE-UN-QUOTE "MAN" that does "Manly" things like "Changing Tires" and Fixing things all the time, WHO GIVES A FUCK - I'll bet you have MANY other valuable skills in other areas that are just as important as physical abilities. If the person you are dating thinks that is a weakness THEN TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF OR PICK UP A WRENCH.

    NEWS FLASH Ladies, there is no single man on Earth that could possibly fit into your nice little box of "WHAT A MAN SHOULD BE, AND DO, AND SAY" Do you know WHY?

    Because you've been brainwashed by Disney Cartoons and Princess Fantasies your entire life and you think that is what "MAN" really is!!! WAKE UP!!

    It's about damn time we all started being grateful for what we have in the relationships we DO HAVE, and STOP BITCHING about all the things WE DON'T HAVE.

  8. I already said my piece on this

    Feel free to troll that too. This wasn't as a guild or a rule it was written to explain women's brains are crazy fucked up places

    1. At least she admitted it :)