Christmas Eve

Seeing as it's Christmas Eve I’m going to keep this blog pretty short, mainly because I can’t wait to get on with my Christmas Eve tradition of snuggling up in my pjs and watching far too many Christmas films, starting with, of course, my favourite White Christmas.

Before I get on with that, I want to let you know about an upcoming blog that both excites and slightly horrifies me. Mr. X came up with the idea of doing a Q&A for you guys. I love the idea of you guys being able to get the whole picture and see things from his perspective as well as mine. Its part of the “Honest” in The Honest Bitch, I like to be as transparent as I can be with you but with that being said it still scares me, but I’ll get over it. So if you happen to have any questions you’d like Mr. X to answer please send them my way.

Before I go I just want to make sure I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and I hope Santa brings you everything you want and more. Have a fantastic day. I’m off to dream of a white Christmas.

Love Always,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very same day you gave it away.

Merry Christmas Everyone,

I hope you are having an awesome day with friends and family. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you all have a drama free day and the only headaches are the Boxing Day hangovers.

I can’t help but let my thoughts drift to last Christmas. That’s probably why I’ve taken a shine to Taylor Swift’s version of Last Christmas. The song sums it all up from”your soul of ice” to “But if you kissed me now I know you’d fool me again”. The only change that needs to be made is to cross out “the very next day” and replace it with “the very same day”.

A year on I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned because of that day. However I’m still at the point where I’m just not willing to be hurt again. It’s a weird situation because I completely forgive him. It’s me don’t forgive. How could I be so stupid? Why did I let myself believe him? I have a lot self hatred over that day. I will always be my hardest critic and because of that I’m confident I won’t let it happen again. I just have to get over the fact it happened at all. I failed myself.

I hate this time of year, I’m homesick. No matter how many Christmas's I celebrate here, this isn’t my home. It feels like the longer I live here, the more I hate it. It’s becoming very hard for me to find a positive to being here. Does the feeling I’ll have when I leave here count as a positive? Please don’t get me wrong England is fine, it’s just not my home, and it’s not where I should be. I’m not happy here.

Anyways dolls I’ve off to open presents and help my mother get ready for the guests. Merry Christmas Everyone, have a wonderful day.

Lots of Love

The Honest Bitch

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx