He Made It

While my work life may be going hell, at least it appears Mr. X managed to keep his shit together for the month of May. I almost feel like I should send him flowers or something. And a card that reads “Congrats on making it a whole month without being a horrible human being… let’s try for two.”

That is the scary part now, knowing the peace won’t last, because, well, history strongly indicates it won’t.  It feels kind of like a ticking bomb but, only less fun.

So let’s make this fun…

Place your bets now, ladies and gentlemen, when do you think Mr. X will next horrify?

My money is on the beginning of July while I’m on holiday, because that’s just the sort faith I have in him.

Let me know your predictions in the comments below. And while you’re doing that, I’m going to go celebrate having a post scheduled for the right day for a change. Who knew that could happen? Anyways, as always, my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch  

xoxo

I am Not Alright

I touched on how I was feeling unhappy at work in my last post, and that hasn’t gotten any better, in actual fact, it’s gotten worse.

I finished my last shift Saturday, and I won’t go into what happened, but the result was me being in a borderline murderous rage from before my shift even started, onwards. It’s not now Tuesday, 4 days later, and I am still pissed off.

This isn’t ok. My job should not be having this sort of effect on me. I wear a Fitbit and you can actually see the physical effect in my stats. My resting heart rate is over 7 beats higher than normal and my sleep is all over the place, I’m getting next to no REM or deep sleep. This is undeniably not a healthy situation and is taking a toll.

The worst part is, the normal things I do to try and relax and calm myself aren’t working because I can’t stay focused. I’m so not right at the minute, my brain can’t seem to reel itself back in. I can’t get stuck into a video game, one of my favorite ways to quiet my brain; I get 5 minutes in and I’m done. I can’t read a book; 2 lines in and my mind is off somewhere else. I can’t blog; I sit and the computer and the idea of writing is just too much.

I’m debating my next step. Part of me thinks I should get myself signed off work, because I’m not functioning. The other part of me thinks that’s a sign of weakness and I only have to make it 8 more shifts and I’m on holiday anyways. 2 more weeks, that’s all. The question is will I make it that long…. And that really is the question.

Anyways, I am going to go and try to get something done, but will probably just end-up taking a nap. But before I go I have this question for you; How do you refocus your mind? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

It's June

So, apparently its June; I don’t know when that happened, but the calendar seems to think did. Where is this year going? Don’t get me wrong, my work weeks feel never ended, but those magical 4 days off in-between are flying.

And because of that feeling I’m taking a hard look at my current situation. I am starting to feel like it may be time to move on. All jobs have high and low swings, that’s just life, but when you start spending now time at the bottom than at the top of the swing, it’s properly best for all concerned to move on.  

I’m not really sure what my plan is at the minute. I just know something needs to change. I am starting to have that I’d rather run my car off the road, then go to work feeling and that can’t be normal.

Anyways, I am going to go and drink because we all know drinking makes everything better. But before I do, I have this question for you; How do you know when it’s time to find a new job? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo 

So I'm 30

So I am 30 and I still clearly don't have my shit together. I am writing this and posting this 4 days after it should have gone live and it doesn't end there. I have not touched my Facebook, Twitter, worked out or done anything I should have in the last week.

Now, I could blame this adulting fail on work, last week was indeed shit. However, that isn't the reason. The reason is when I took my holiday from work instead of doing the things I planned and getting on top of what I needed to, I did nothing and drank. So my blog and all things related are now suffering because there aren't enough hours in the day.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know what's going on and explain why this and my next post will be late. I need to go and dry my hair before work. But, I'll leave you with this question: What was your last adulting fail? Let me know in the comments below, and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Lost Cause At 30

I was having lunch with my Mom the other day and we were talking about my upcoming 30^th birthday and in this conversation, she casually commented that she’s long given up on my getting married and having kids. First things first…thanks mom, love you too, and second of all; I’m 30, I am not past my sell by date just yet.

I knew what she meant, however, days before my 30^th part of me heard that comment as her calling me unlovable and telling me I was going to die alone. When in fact she was commenting on how happy I seem on my own and that I’m not longing after anything, love or kids. I am happy and am kicking butt at the minute.

Despite knowing what she meant, part of me is a little hurt. Why can’t I kick butt and have love and kids too? I’m 30, there’s still time, my eggs are rotten yet. I am, despite my mother’s comment, lovable. I mean, perfectly messed up unavailable men are into me, so surely there must be a decent one out there somewhere I don’t repulse.

Or maybe I’m wrong and I am an egg salad sandwich; bonus points if you know what that’s from. Anyways, I am going to go and drink, because that’s what unlovable people do. But, before I go I have this question for you; at what age are you a lost cause? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo 

Positive Place

Strange thoughts enter your head when you sit down to write a blog post, and today is no different. As I sit here on May 11^th I’m realizing this is likely the last post I will write as 20-something. I feel like this post should be something special, and conclude the entertaining drama that was my 20’s, but I just can’t do that. I’m entering my 30’s in uncertainty. I don’t have all the pieces figured out just yet, however, I’m oddly ok with that.

A lot of doors are now closed and in an odd way, that’s a good place to start. I know where I’m not going and that’s almost as good as knowing where I am. I’m in a very positive place with everything. 30 is definitely a fresh start.

And on that same note, when Mr. X posed the question “What do you want from me to see in your 30's?” the other day, my instant thought was “for you not to ruin my 30s too.” Which is an unfair comment on my part. He was a time suck for sure, however, that time suck stopped me from doing some dumb things. And he didn’t ruin my 20s, he gave me the script for one hell one a good book/movie one day. I didn’t answer him in the end. He said something about I could have asked for flowers... Mr. X and flowers… I doubt even I’ve been that drunk to think that’s a thing. I think nothing is the much safer answer.

Someone did ask me if me the other day if Mr X will play a part in my 30s. And I suspect he will, we’ve been friends for many years, however, his part will be much smaller. Life moves on and relationships change. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.

Anyways, my bottle of wine is cold now, so I am going to go and drink it. Before I go though, I have this question for you; What do you regret not doing before you turned 30? Let me know in the comments below. And, as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Hello May, Good Bye 20s

Hello May, and by hello May, I mean; when the heck did May happen?

As I sit here, I only have 13 days left of my 20’s. I am nearly 3 decades old. Boy, does that sounds odd and a little depressing. Yet, I’m excited. It almost feels like a fresh start.

My 20’s were full of “learning opportunities”. Some of which I needed to learn multiple times, before they sunk it. Entering my 30s, I feel like I’m in a good place, not the place I had planned, but a good, a solid place, having learned a lot from my 20’s. Probably more than I would have liked. I feel like I’ve grown a lot in my 20s and am ready for that the next decade has to bring.

It’s a much different feeling then I had when I turned 25. Boy, I didn’t handle that one well. They call it a quarter century crisis. All I can say is it made for a rough birthday. But I’m hopeful since that went so poorly, 30 will be a walk in the park. I mean, surely I can’t lose it over a birthday twice in 5 years…right?

That said, to be safe, I’m keeping my actual birthday low key. I won’t be celebrating my birthday till the end of June, start of July. I figure if Canada is cool about turning 150, 30 should be nothing. So, me and a friend are going to go to London to see a show and celebrate Canada day. Keeping the focus off me and my age.

Anyways, I am going to go and enjoy a bottle of wine and take joy in the fact, I only have 4 shifts left at work before I break up for 12 days. But before I go I have this question for you, how did you spend your last birthday? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo