Monday 31 August 2015

The Least Adult Problem Ever

I’m having the least adult problem ever, I have a week off work which to me means one thing, The Sims. However, I can’t bring myself to play because I get to the part where I create my Sim’s partner and my brain melts down. Not a problem an alleged adult should be having.

I guess, it’s a legitimate problem in an illegitimate setting, it’s just another person asking the same question just this time the person is computerised. However, computerised or not, it doesn’t change my lack of an answer. Or lack of willingness to figure one out.

Let’s be painfully honest here, he knows. He knows more than I do, which is awesome because that puts the ball firmly in his court. And while he has the ball, I can be next-door at the arena playing hockey.

All the questions, all the answers are his at this point, which is kind of nice. It gives me the freedom to just enjoy things and let things fall into place. Even if everyone else finds it frustrating including a computer program.  

Anyways, I am going to go and find a different game to play because clearly the Sims just ask too many complicated questions. But before I go I have this question for you; what is your idea of a perfect week off work? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Sunday 30 August 2015

And Then My Brain Exploded

Over the years, I’ve gotten used to being told I’m closed off and impossible to read, I’ve never understood it, I’ve never felt I am but when you’re told something often enough, over time you begin to believe it. It was just 3 weeks ago, this was brought up again when the Penis Flasher said I was impossible to read.  

Now, I have a different problem, I have a guy on my hands that can read me like a goddamn book and it’s making long for the days when I could have a thought and have it just be mine. I’m sure this has it has benefits, but, I can’t seem to get away with fuck all. I am actually debating playing a character for 12 hours a night, but that’s very draining and even then I can’t guarantee he wouldn’t see straight through it.

I posted my last blog Saturday morning after work, Larry and I were messaging; after he read it he sent me this message.

“You know I can read you like a book, right .......Not random thoughts at all, either lol”

Now this intrigued me, I mean I know he can pick up when I’m mad and upset, but I’m pretty sure his superpowers shouldn’t stretch to me wanting to grab someone and kiss them in an attempt to shut them up. So I asked the question, “What did you pick up on this time?”

He quickly replied back with “Do you want the honest answer of what I read this time?”

I, of course, said yes, I want an honest answer, because between you and me, I can’t end this open book nonsense when I don’t know what he’s picking up on.

He then wrote an essay that took a minute off my life for every second he took him to write it.

The essay was as follows:

“Ok. From the looks of annoyance and frustration about the debate, to the looks and the urge to grab me (as you said). The "playful" trying to stop me from banging my feet and the "secret" glances at my crotch. What I saw last night was pretty much the same for most the night. I'm fairly certain that if I had of grabbed you, kissed you and bent you over the desk, then you wouldn't have stopped me .... In fact, I would have put money on you wanting, nay, aching for that to happen at one point.

But, hey, what do I know .... I'm only a guy ..... ;-)”

At which point my brain exploded and the only thing fell out of my mouth and down to my fingers was “I hate you”. And I told him that. Once the little men that live in my head started putting the pieces back together, I did realize I disagree with some of that. But I’ll get into that afterwards. After I told him I hated him and that I disagreed with at least one of his points, he came back with.

“I know.

 I can't be right all the time, but the bending you over the desk part was thrown in there to "test the waters" and let me see your reaction, which I now know for sure and will help me read you more ;-)

Yes, I know, you REALLY fucking hate me .....
Your phone hasn't done anything to you, so stop saying FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK at it ....”

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk and break all this goodness down because I have a lot to say and I’m dreading editing this already.

1. The playful, trying to stop him tapping his foot - This was unrelated, at least in my head. I’ve been on a mission to get more comfortable with him so things feel more natural. Because right now normal things like touching his arm or his leg to get his attention feel wrong. And since I decided not go sit on the top desk anymore, I was having to find other ways to push myself. I can see how this could be taken for flirty but that wasn't my intent.

2. Looking at his crotch – I believe this to be utter nonsense, so, moving on.

3. The “testing the waters” comment – He literally could have read me on that one, it’s in print! I believe it was my Q&A post where I said if he tried to kiss me, I wouldn’t say no. As for the bending me over the desk comment well, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I might now.

4. Why is he testing the waters? And adding to that, I need not to be read any better…. It’s already pretty damn creepy.

5.  What does he know for sure? Because I know nothing for sure. Someone want to tell me what’s for sure? I’m lost.

And finally 6. I didn’t yell “fuck” at my phone and I’ll explain why. I was once told by an elder “knowledge has both the power to help us grow and destroy us; be careful what knowledge you seek.” And that has stuck with me. So before I ask a question I ask myself will the answer hurt me more then it helps me. If I believe it’ll help me more, I ask the question, at which point I have to accept the answer knowing it’ll help me in the long run.

Ok, I guess I didn’t have as much to say as I feared. But I think I’m still rebuilding my brain, but luckily I have almost a whole week off work now to recover and try to figure out what the heck just happened.

I may also have to take a few acting classes during the week to try and make myself a more difficult read because nobody should be able to tell that amount of detail about anyone, especially someone who has been dumped more than once for “being closed off”. I feel like I’ve gone from being War and Peace to Dr. Seuss.

Anyways, my dears, I am going to go and try and edit this mess, and probably rewrite it 12 times. But before I go I better leave you with a question; what was the last thing that caused your brain to explode? Let me know in the comment box below, and as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Saturday 29 August 2015

Random Thought

Last night confirmed just how random my brain truly is. I was at work last debating the “evils” of makeup when I was getting slightly fucked off, with the lack of give and take in the debate. In my frustration, my brain went to the strangest place ever.

The thought in my head, I kid you not was; “I wish I was dating him so I could fuck him and shut him up”. I’m sure that’s not normal! But I’m a night shift worker so normal isn’t really my specialty.

I was sitting there thinking, he must get laid all the time when he’s dating someone, because even I had that grab him by the face, kiss him and shut him the fuck up urge. And I’m mad at him.

Now, let it be said, I’m a fan of angry sex anyways. That is how my fights end up.  Call me strange, but I’d rather fuck my partner stupid then get arrested for punching him stupid. It’s just common sense to me.

I’ve also, over the years, had more than one fuckfriend I couldn’t stand being around so I might just be weird. Out the bedroom wanted them dead, in the bedroom some of the best sex I’ve ever had. And a fantastic stress reliever too, I might add.

I’m just failing to understand my brain right now, I’d understand with these thoughts were based on some form of sexual desire but they’re not. They are purely based in a “this man needs to stop talking now” desire.

I’m not really sure where the logic is there, surely there are better ways to shut him. I’d suggest shoving his head in my boobs, but he’s not a boob man so that would be lost on him. I could duct tape his mouth, but he’d talk right through that. OK, I can’t think of any better ways…. But I’m sure there are some.

I think that is going to be your question of the blog; what is a better way to shut Larry up? Let me know in the comment box below. I am going to go and debate whether sex is every truly a solution. So as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,
The Honest Bitch 

xoxo 

Thursday 27 August 2015

Poorly Cuddles

I’m struggling to write this week and I’m not completely sure why. It could be because I’m happier than I have been, which always makes it harder to write. Or it could be because I’m sick and when I finish work I just want to cuddle up in a ball and die but whatever the reason it’s starting to irrigate me. Or I’m sick irritable one or the other.

When I’m sick all I want is cuddles, there is no other mind set, I want cuddles and to be felt alone, which really doesn’t go together well… but I’m a female and I don’t have to make sense.

I’m missing the old place right now for one reason only, when I’d get sick there, I’d cuddle up to Justin’s arm, put my head on his shouldn’t and quietly die all night. I can’t do that here. Justin was awesome for that stuff, but there again I didn’t have to worry about how those actions were perceived there. At least not by him, everyone else thought I was sleeping with him…. But if I believed every rumor about who I was sleeping with in that place, I’d never be upright.

Maybe I’m reading way too much into this. I am going to go and sleep because I really need to. But before I do I have this question for you; what makes you feel better when you’re sick? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Wednesday 26 August 2015

NOT ALL QUESTIONS ARE A TRAP!

I have a piece of advice for all the men out there, not that I have any male readers, but just in case any are lost and end up here I have this for you. NOT ALL QUESTIONS ARE A TRAP!

Larry has a distaste for makeup, and he was explaining this at work the other night. In this conversation I said I pretty much look the same with or without makeup. Which I do. I’m told this all the time, by friends and more than once by the person I’ve woken up next to. Larry snapped back with “I don’t think you do.” So I innocently asked which way he thinks I look better. The wuss, would not answer for love, money or blowjobs.

He then ranted about it being a trap. It wasn’t a trap at all. I mean, unless he thinks I’m hideous there was no way to offend me with that question.

“I think you look better without makeup” – Awwww, he thinks I’m naturally pretty. There's no offended there.

“I like you with makeup, it brings out your eyes” – Awww, he thinks I have pretty eyes. Not offended.

“You look equally wonderful with or without makeup” Awwwww, that’s sweet. Not offended.

You know what’s offensive, “no comment”, that answer is pretty much the only way that question becomes a trap.

I don’t tend to ask questions I don’t want an answer to anyways. Hence me not asking Larry how he feels…. Don’t want to know. And I don’t know any female friends that do this, but if you do, stop it, it’s clearly fucking it up for the rest of us.

Anyways, you sexy people, I am going to go and get some sleep. But before I go I have this question for you; do you ask questions you don’t want the answer to? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxox 

Tuesday 25 August 2015

Awkward Touch

I am did promise daily posts again this week, and I hate letting you guys down so despite have absolutely nothing to say, here a post.

That in itself is actually a good thing, things are back to normal at work. My body language seems to have fixed itself, I’m not feeling awkward at all. It almost feels normal. The only tiny problem is I appear to be scared to touch Larry. That normal interaction feels super awkward and unlike at the old place where I could stand and lean on Justin or give a patronizing hug…. I can’t do that here.

Anyways, I need to go get ready for work. Sorry this post is so short. But we shall talk later. Before I go, I have this question for you; what makes you feel awkward? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo

Monday 24 August 2015

Daily Continues

I am drunk, da drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk, and I am going to have a bruise the size of a small country on my leg from a wall failing to dance with me. But it’s been worth it. I’ve had a lot of fun today. It’s been a while since I’ve been happy drunk.

Drunk has been my coping mechanism lately. Hopefully I’m  back to writing now because drunk solves nothing other than making me too tired to kill anyone the follow day… so I guess that’s a victory.

I’ve decided, I shall be carrying on the daily blog for another week, mainly because I’ve really enjoyed them. I feel amazing, my mind is clear, I’m not stressed, and I’m not struggling to bite my tongue. I love the feeling of not having anything bottled up.

Although that said, I think killed Larry off, but these things happen. I’m not really surprised and I’m sure none of you are either. It’s just one of those things. He may be ok, he might come back as a zombie, only time will tell.

I am going to go and break that golden rule, write drunk, edit sober…. If I did my editing sober, I’d never post anything interesting. I’d probably get in way less trouble though. Anyways, you beautiful people, it’s time for the question. How do you deal with stress? Let me know in the comment box below? And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxo