Sunday 11 March 2012

Teddy Bear with Razorblades

I was chatting with NTB the other night and while he was catching me up on all his gossip he brought up a blog I wrote about how women want what they can’t have. He said if that’s true he’s screwed because he won’t play those games.

In his case I don’t think he should play those games. His strength and appeal is that he doesn’t do that stuff. He’s a straight shooting guy who won’t mess you around. There a lot of girls who would appreciate that. However there are a lot of girls who that kindness is wasted on and will take advantage of it. Luckily he’s a smart guy so I’m not overly worried about that. Although there is one girl I’d like to punch on his behalf. He just needs to patient and someone will come along for him. Someone who will see him as the teddy bear he is and not a doormat.

Mr. X on the other hand is a teddy bear full of razorblades, cute and cuddly but also sharp and deadly. But what he does so well and that I wish NTB would take note of is he plays to his strength. He knows he’s an ass but he owns it.

We were debating my sports knowledge last night, and by debating I mean he was ranting at me. After he said his piece I jokingly called him an ass and his comeback was “well I am Mr. X after all”.  There’s nothing you can say to that because he’s already owned it.

Don’t get me wrong he does show some NTB style flashes of sweetness but he likes to down play those. He knows his strengths and what works for him and he’s plays to it and if people don’t like it, I can’t be sure but I think he kills them.

I love NTB dearly, he a great friend but I wish he would take a little of Mr. X’s Oscar the grouch attitude and mould it into a firmer hand. Just a little hint of that don't fuck with me attitude would go a long way in keeping some chicks in check.

So my question to you is, if you’re a girl have you ever used or played a nice girl and if you’re a guy, have you ever been played by a girl?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday 8 March 2012

Good Looking Boogeyman

A reader sent me a DM on twitter asking for my advice on how to get someone out of your head. My first thought when I read the message was “clearly they haven’t read my blog before.” I’ve been battling that exact problem with Mr. X for years.

I have made leaps and bounds in the matter but as recently as 2 nights ago he showed up in my thoughts. That’s kind of fucked up to be honest because I haven’t thought about him in months and without notice “boom” there he was. He’s like a good looking Boogeyman.

I don’t have any tips or solid advice on how to keep someone out of your head. What I do when I’m being plagued by a good looking Boogeyman is stay busy; when you’re busy you don’t have time to think about it. Also I stay off his Facebook page, Twitter and stay clear of Facebook chat. That seems to help. Like they say, out of sight, out of mind.

There is a Selena Gomez song, “Ghost of you” and that songs pretty much sums up the feelings of being hunted by a good looking Boogeyman. Near the end of the song there is this line “But for now there’s a reason that you’re still here in my heart.” And I think it’s important to realize that there is a reason this person is still in your head.

I’m not suggesting that means you’re meant to be together. It just means you have more to learn of the person. They may not be easy lessons to learn but there’s a old saying a painful lesson is a lesson rarely forgotten. And that’s true. Some of lives most important lesson are the painful ones.

Sometimes I find when dealing with someone who just won’t exist your mind the harder you fight it the worse it gets. In these situations my advice is be smart. You may find yourself playing with fire once in a while ( I know, I do) but just be smart enough to know you’re doing it.

I flirt with Mr. X once in awhile and I know its dangerous behaviour and I accept that. It’s like a chocolate bar you know it’s not healthy but sometimes you just have to have it. When you do give in to that melt in your mouth chocolate goodness my advice is get your fix quickly and get out. When you play with fire it’s only a matter of time before you get burnt. You have to accept that risk and pray when it happens it’s not a third degree burn. (Yet another painful lesson you won’t forget any time soon).

I guess the best advice I could give anyone is be realistic, fairytale endings only happen in chick flicks, don’t waste your time waiting for something that most likely will never happen. Don’t let that good looking Boogeyman control you. Just move on with your life and over time his grip on your mind will become less and less.

I’d love to hear your opinions on this. What do you do to get someone out of your head?

As always stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Sunday 4 March 2012

The Honest Bitch Rants

My computer is being bombarded by ads for “Dettol No-Touch Hand Wash System”, and since it won’t leave me alone I feel the need to point something out.

It’s the stupidest product ever made!

And this is coming from a girl, who will willingly admit she has more than a few germaphobic tendencies.

In case this product hasn’t harassed you, the idea is it’ll dispense soap for you without you having to touch the “germy” soap bottle. I have two main problems with this

1. You’re about to wash your hands, so why does it even matter if you touch the bottle! 10 seconds later your hands will be under water washing all those little germs away.

2. By saying you shouldn’t touch the bottle in fear of germs killing you, aren’t they basically admitting their hand soap is shit.

Think about that for a second. Dettol sells hand soap which is the same soap that goes into their no-touch dispenser. If it’s not good enough to kill the few germs on the bottle how is going to kill the germs on my hands?


It hurts my head to think about how someone gave the okay to make this product and it hurts my head even more to think there are people out there buying this pointless piece of plastic at 6 times the price of Dettol’s normal hand soap.

That’s my rant on the matter and hopefully their stupid ad will leave me alone now. (It’s not going to happen I know.) I have to ask, are there any other completely pointless products on the market that irritate you?

As always my dears stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 
xoxoxo

Thursday 1 March 2012

I didn't know

Anyone who chooses to have a relationship with a blogger has to be a special type of person. Not just because every detail of your relationship is liable to be posted online, the good and the bad. But you can never use the line “I didn’t know.”

You’d think it would be easier for guys. Nobody is asking them to read between the lines like in many relationships, all they have to do is read.

Shame it never seems to work that way.

They either get whinny and bitchy about what you wrote, missing the whole point and demanding you take down the post “right this second”. Or they play dumb and say they didn’t know the post was about them.

Are you kidding me? How does a person read events that they experienced and not know it’s about them? That boggles my mind. There is no way on earth they can actually be that dumb....is there?

Nothing infuriates me more than when a guy plays dumb. You may not give a shit and that’s fair enough but don’t insult my intelligence by playing dumb, I’m not buying it.

For that reason I give Mr. X a lot of credit. He may not have given a shit when I was upset but he always knew I was and why. He didn’t care but he never played dumb about it either. I respect that.

So I guess the question is do you play dumb and if so why? Or do you call it like you see it even if it might hurt someone’s feelings?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Sunday 26 February 2012

Trained Monkeys

A lot of you guys have been asking how my MRI went so I thought I'd bring you up to speed.

Over a year ago my physio referred me to a spinal specialist to eliminate spinal problems as the cause of my back pain. He was very clear in saying he didn't think that was the problem but because my spine with a little on the straight side he wanted to rule it out.

So I went to meet with the spinal specialist, and there I met trained monkey number one. Not the doctor I was referred to, but one of his bitches. While I was there trained monkey number one poked, pulled and bent my back and in the end he decided I needed to have a CT and MRI done.

A few weeks after that appointment, I went back to get my results. There, another trained monkey (trained monkey number two), whose English sucked I might add, told me there was a bulge in one of my discs but it was in the wrong place to be causing my back pain - he said in his opinion my back pain wasn’t a spinal issue. He ended the appointment by telling me if the pain got worse, I could came back and see him.

It sounded pointless to me, he already said it wasn't a spinal problem so what's the use in going back? Also I was being treated by the pain management centre so the odds of the pain getting worse were slim to none.

I was wrong, the NHS closed the centre and I was left high and dry. So over time my back pain got worse and I had to go back and see my GP and he decided it would be smart to go back and see the spinal specialist. I wasn't impressed with that idea and told him I thought it was pointless but he insisted it was the next step.

I went back just after Christmas and there I met trained monkey number three. He wasn't so bad, he poked and caused pain and decided that since it had been a year, I needed another MRI. He added if they came back clean he'd refer me on to a different department.

That was great news in my book, this may be pointless but at least at the end of it I'd be moving on to a different doctor who might have a clue of what's wrong.

I went for an MRI and as you read, it will wasn't an enjoyable experience. I got through it thinking once this is done there's a new doctor in my future, one who didn't get his degree from a crackerjack box.

I went back to get my results and there met yet another trained monkey. This one told me the bulge in my disc looks a lot smaller now, and everything else looks fine. Then he told me “if it gets worse you have an open appointment here for the next six months after that you need to go back to your GP.” And with that he vanished.

So now I'm exactly where I was a year ago, with no answers; I went through all that shit for nothing. In hindsight I'm actually worse off than I was a year ago because I'm no longer being seen by the pain management centre.

I am infuriated with the whole thing at this point. You never see the same stupid trained monkey more than once so you get no consistency. I have to go and see my GP this week and God help him because I've reached the end of my rope.

I understand back pain is a tricky thing and can be caused by many things. That's fine as long as someone's trying to do something. It kind of feels like they're trying to see how much bullshit I can handle before my head explodes and I kill someone.

The whole thing kind of reminds me of that song, 4 little monkeys jumping on the bed, but instead of them falling and bumping their heads, I want to hit them with frying pans.

Anyways my dears, I'm off to take some painkillers and research which frying pan is best for scrambling monkeys.

Stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Thursday 23 February 2012

Misplaced Anger

I guess I should start by saying sorry to Jimmy. I was upset the other day and despite the fact I wasn't aiming my anger at him he felt the outer edges of my anger bubble I'm sorry for that.


He's a good resource to have because he's a reformed fuck-wit. He's a fountain of knowledge in the inner workings of the twisted male brain.

And by fuck-wit I mean the Bridget Jones definition, self-cantered, insensitive, game playing and otherwise uncaring prick.

What happened is I was mad at Jon or as he will now be known evil monkey and instead of admitting I was angry to him I vented at Jimmy. I don't think he enjoyed that very much....oppps

Then he told me I was kind of to blame because I didn't use the words “I am mad “so how was evil monkey to now. After that bit of advice I stop asking Jimmy what he thought because I no longer liked his answers.

Am I the only person who does that? Why should I admit I'm mad, when it's obvious I'm mad?

Evil monkey and I managed to sort everything out in the end. After I finally gave in and admitted I was angry. People shouldn’t get used to that though, it may never happen again.

Anyways my dears as always stay safe, love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Friday 17 February 2012

MRI Panic

Sorry I didn't manage to get anything up yesterday, I was too busy stressing about my hospital appointment today. It was nothing major, just a MRI but I really didn't enjoy my last one and was completely dreading having to have another one.

I wouldn't consider myself claustrophobic or anything like that but that tube puts the fear of God in me. I can only explain the feeling as what it must feel like to be inside a coffin, a loud lighted coffin.

I didn't enjoy my last MRI but it went fine. I managed to get it done without any issues. It sucked but I figured I'd never have to have another one again.... I was wrong.

Today's MRI didn't go as well. I lost it.... Big time. I wasn't inside that coffin like to tube more than 2 minutes before they had to take me out. Apparently it's very common to have a panic attack inside a MRI machine. The tech was saying it's almost more common to have one then not. Which made me feel a little better, but I still feel like a big baby. They make it look so nice in the easy on TV.... Bunch of liars.

Luckily after I calmed down I managed to suck it up and have my MRI done. I just couldn't face the thought of having to come back and go through this all over again. So I just focused on my breathing and kept my eyes closed.  It still wasn't enjoyable in any shape or form but at least I got it done.

Needless to say I won't be agreeing to have another one done any time soon. But if it helps sort out my back I guess it was worth it.... Just. In all honesty I think I'd rather have the pain than the panic attack.

Stay safe and out of any coffin like tubes.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo