Positive Reinforcement

I’ve had a lovely week off but man, it was like the whole world knew I was taking some time off and were conspiring to plant ideas in my head. I have a notebook full of ideas that are just crying out to be made into blogs. It took some real will power not to log on to my computer and start writing.

Luckily I am back now and can start turning some of those ideas into readable words. I’m going to start with something that happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning.

I was chatting with NTB and like always when we chat the time got away from me and when I looked at the clock I realised it was almost 6am and I had to be up in 4 hours so I said good night and crawled into bed.

Just before I nodding off I picked up my phone to check my Twitter and noticed I had a text message. This was a little strange, normally any drunken messages I get have come and gone by that hour. I looked at the name and I didn’t immediately recognize it. After a few minutes my half asleep brain finally worked out who it was and who it was kind of through me for a loop. It was a guy I dated/slept with regularly 10 years ago (and if you’re doing the math I’m well aware how old I was 10 years ago).  

Needless to say I was a little curious to why he’d be messaging me. All sorts of things run through your head and none of them are good. Luckily he didn’t keep me guessing long, he soon made his intent very clear.

He wanted to relive some of the good old days and come over to “see me”.  Me not being stupid asked “and do what?” Him not being the coy type replied “f*ck you.” Charming I know.

Once he said that I quickly sent him a message saying “Oh, really? Last I heard you had a girlfriend.” I hadn’t heard anything but I figured men never change and he quickly confirmed that with his reply “So I’d still f*ck you”.

I was actually impressed by his honest reply. I almost wanted to throw him one as a reward. I mean we spend our whole lives telling men just to be honest with us. When one finally listens to that advice I kind of want to reward that positive behaviour. Kind of like the way you train a child......or dog, ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good.

However I’m not crazy and I really hate dealing with angry girlfriends so that’s never going to happen, positive reinforcement or not.

When it was clear he wasn’t making any progress in his mission to get in my pants he resulted to calling chicken. Not a smart move. I created that game, remember Chicken Man? I’m the master you don’t want to play that game with me you can’t win.

And he certainly didn’t win. I spent the next 40 minutes just messing with him. I’d charge the topic and wouldn’t answer questions. I just wouldn’t bite. And he was quickly getting frustrated with the whole thing. And I couldn’t stop laughing. You’d think after 10 years he could take a hint but apparently I spent that time getting smarter and he well......didn’t.

It still amazes me just how stupid some men can be; what did he think would happen? I’d fall into bed with him and things would be the same as they use to be? Give me a break, that’s not how the real world works.

And in all honesty given the choice I’d rather spend the evening with my battery operated friend. At least my rabbit has the common decency not to text at 6am.

So I have to ask, what do you think about the idea of rewarding good behaviour? And has an ex ever contracted you after a long period of time and if so, what did they want? Let me know in the comment box below.

As always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo 

The 90 Day Rule

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Comfort Sex

One of my readers sent me an article from the Huffington post about comfort sex. He wanted to know if it was true that women really did this. I could have answered his question before I read the article; of course women have comfort sex.

I think the article does a good job of explaining what comfort sex is. It’s not mind blowing sex. It’s good sex. That pretty much goes the same every time you’re together. There is nothing life changing or special about it, just solid reliable sex. And the reason it’s called comfort sex is because it releases endorphins and leaves you with a warm and safe feeling afterwards.

All women do this whether they are single or in a relationship. Like chocolate sometimes sex is just what you need (and it’s a lot better for you then the chocolate.)

Bad day, pissed off, broke a nail, boss is being a prick or ran into an ex’s new girlfriend are all reasons we turn to comfort sex. It’s a very quick and effective way of turning a frown upside down.

Sex has the magic ability to change our moods and there is nothing wrong with tapping into that power to uplift our sprits when we’re down. Some people pop pills others have orgasms.

As long as what you’re doing doesn’t leave you feeling worse in the morning in book it’s all a good thing. Sometimes we all need the comfort that sex can bring.

Stay safe guys, Love

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

P.S Is there such a thing as comfort making out?

Guest Post: An Open Letter From Mr.X

An open letter to The Honest Bitch and her loyal band of bitches,

The Honest Bitch is a curious creature. If you haven’t met her, then that is a shame for you because she is pretty thing with cute complexities and vulnerable virtues. I’ve met her, as you may have read. She has this tendency to rip my clothes off and take advantage of me, something for which I am immensely grateful, since the girl has some skills.

But she gets this magnificent blog to share her soul with the world. I gather some of you want to know about me, the enigmatic Mr X. Why, I have no idea, but allow me to indulge some of you.

I was born in London. It was a difficult birth because my mother was in Manchester at the time. I was raised by a pack of wolves until my youth. I was educated in the dreary school system that taught me that the correct answer is never the facts but what the teacher wants to hear. As a consequence, I managed to get an A in most subjects by writing my name and “How’s about it Miss?” on the front of most exam papers. Strangely, I did poorly in Media Studies. Mr Smith was obviously expecting me to put down actual answers.

Then I went to University in Oxford and instantly fell in love with the city. Sadly, society frowned upon marriage between a man and an urban area, so we had to just stay friends. I came away from my academic studies with a Masters in Wit, Charm and Cynicism. I also picked up a Doctorate in Trust Issues.

I now work as the boss of a shadowy organisation planning on world domination by turning the world’s brains to mush. That’s right; we are behind The X Factor, the Twilight saga and McDonalds.

The Honest Bitch and I met under auspicious circumstances. There I was, randomly spraying myself with two cans of Lynx on a beach, when an armada of women came galloping my way. However, no one was stopping The Honest Bitch, who battered through the crowd with the brutality of an ice hockey player. Little did I realise that she had studied such an art for some time.

So why aren’t we together? Well, I’m a man. Commitment breaks me out in a rash. We could be sex buddies but it would only lead to commitment and we wouldn’t be friends after the ugly break up, done via text message or a restraining order.

Some of you may have questions. Feel free to put them in the comments and those that The Honest Bitch really wants answering, I’m sure she’ll put them to me. The rest will probably end up on her Facebook page in some edited format!

Signing off,

Mr X

C'est La Vie

Its one thing when my readers question me it’s quite another when Mr. X himself is questioning.

“So you still holding that hope someday we’ll be together, the happy couple?” – Mr. X

I didn’t actually answer his question, I just nicely side stepped it and changed the topic as quickly as possible.

It’s not an easy question. Feelings don’t evaporate but hope does. I don’t want to say I gave up because that’s not it. I just accepted I have no control over the matter and moved on with my life. It sounds cliché but whatever will be, will be. And whatever feelings I may or may not have are irrelevant.

That being said, I still have the urge to separate him from his clothing. I’m only human after all. And damn he’s hot.

As for the “relationship dream” my attitude is very ces’t la via. It’s not on my radar right now. Even thought it seems to be on everyone else’s.

All I have to say is whatever happen or doesn’t happen in the future I just hope he’s happy. Wow, I actually meant that. Think I’ve been hanging around NTB a little too much. He’s starting to rub off on me. That's a little scary.....and creepy.

Anyways I have things I need to get done. e.g my plot to take over the world (You didn't think my nicest would last did you?) . As always stay safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

Too Few

I’ve been having this conversation for many years now and after getting into last night with someone I even posted it as my question of the day. The question is.

Does a guy who has only slept with a few people (1 or 2) set off warning flags in your mind?

In my mind it does set off warning bells. My logic is guys are horn-dogs, and it’s not like they’re going to say no. So there must be something wrong with him because clearly no one else wanted to sleep with him.

I mean it’s all in the math, the average person loses their virginity at 17, so if they’ve only slept with 2 people by the age of 30 that’s one person every 6.5 years. If you can only convince someone to sleep with you every half a decade there is something clearly not right there.

Some people have brought up the point that maybe the guy has always been in serious relationships and that’s why his number is so low. I can understand that thinking but then that sends out a whole different set of warning signs to me and many questions.

Why did the relationships end after so long? How long does he take to rebound? Is he clingy? Did he cheat? A women’s mind is a scary place. Also remember you’re talking about 2 relationships that lasted 4, 5 or 6 years. Or maybe one 10 year relationship and a rebound shag. It leaves a lot questions that need an answer.

I think it’s only natural for women to want their man to be more experienced then themselves. I’m sure it goes back to caveman days. So when they find out the guy they like is lacking in experience it’s a little unnerving.

Don’t get me wrong by no means is it a deal breaker. It just makes the female mind start ticking over and fault finding. If you have nothing to hide and aren't a weirdo you should be ok....most of the time.

This is just my opinion on the matter and I’m sure you’ll share yours with me. I’m heading off for the night. As always stay safe.


Love,


The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Dating

Every now and then I get the feeling I should start to date again. Then I go on a date and I quickly decide I’d rather die alone.

I stopped dating a while ago because of all the drama and headaches it caused. Let’s just say I haven’t been having the best of luck with British guys. They look all sweet and charming in the movies but let me tell you, in real life a large percentage of them are douche bags.

Not to mention a lot of them are liars too. I don’t have a problem with a purely sexual relationship. If you’re looking for a fuck-friend that’s fine by me, it saves me money on batteries. But be straight about. Don’t wrap you’re horniness up in a lie. Don’t pretend you want more then sex when you don’t. Just don’t be an ass.

NTB has made a big thing out of not playing games and I love him for that. If he has something to say he’ll come right out and say it. He takes all the guess work out of relationships and dating. I personally think there is a time and place for a little toying and flirting but on the whole I wish guys would follow his lead.

That’s kind of why I still keep Mr. X around. I love that he is so straight forward. There is no game play with him. He is what he is, take it or leave it. The difference is Mr. X does it in a jerk way and NTB does it in a way that doesn’t make you want to run him over with your car.....repeatedly.

Saying all that I still continue to flirt with Mr. X. What can I say; some people are just fun to flirt with. It’s not a I want to see him naked thing, it’s more of a he’s cute so why not thing. Flirting is good for you. It’s good for your health and your mood. (That may or may not be a scientific fact.)

I’m sure one day someone will come along who will change my mind on the whole dating thing but right now, I’m not interested. I’d rather have a peacefully life, with no drama.


As always my dears stay safe and don’t do anything I wouldn't do.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Born Again Virgins

I recently did a blog about purity rings, in that blog I touch on “born again virgins” and you guys had a lot to say on the matter so I figured I may as well turn it into a blog of its own.

Once again I have nothing against people who decided not to have sex before marriage. My problem is with the title and the lengths some people go to.

The title is stupid, you’re not a “born again virgin”, you’re playing hard to get. Really hard to get, a ring and “I do” hard to get but it’s not like you’re nun or anything.

You may regret your first but you don’t get a do over. It doesn’t work like that. Once a penis cuts the ribbon you can’t superglue it back together.

No amount of praying will grow your hymen. Some women understand that and go to extreme lengths and have something called a hymenorrhaphy. Basically they have their hymen reconstructed. Women who go that far clearly have more money than brains. Why would anyone do that? Was the feeling of your hymen ripping the first time that enjoyable? That’s just plain old crazy.

I’ll never understand why they need a title anyways. No one cares what is or has entered and left your vagina. If you believe you made a mistake by having sex unmarried why on earth would you give it a title and draw attention to that mistake? It just doesn’t make any sense in my books.

The term was coined by fundamentalist Christians who put a lot of importance on stay pure. That’s all well and good but they also teach that God forgives and that forgiveness makes you pure again. It’s kind of like forgive and forget. He’ll forgive you and not hold it against you but he still knows you had sex.

He also knows you asked for forgiveness. He’s like Santa Clause; he knows when you’ve been good or bad so if he knows, why the hell does the rest of world have to know. What God’s forgives isn’t good enough for you; you need a special title too? You’re not a “born again virgin” you’re wannabe virgin and that’s pathetic.

I’d also like to point out, nobody in their right mind chooses to give up sex; sex chooses to give up you. And instead of admitting you’re in a dry spell, you play the “born again virgin” card. Everyone sees through that. We all know what it really means. So give it up.

I thought we were meant to embrace our mistake, that’s how we learn and grow as people. “Born again virgin” is a copout. No matter how many birthday candles you wish on you’re not a virgin.  You’re someone who feels they made a mistake by having sex before marriage. That is fine. But put on your big girl panties, drop the stupid the title and own it.

Anyways that’s my rant on the matter why do you guys think?

Stay safe, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Purity Rings

I recently got into a big debate about purity rings. I’m categorically against them; they’re just a stupid idea that leads to stupid and reckless decisions.

Let me start by saying I have nothing against people who wait to have sex until marriage, I wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it but each to their own. My problem is with that stupid silver ring.

The people who wear these rings make a pledge to God to remain abstinence until they get married. By placing that ring on their finger, they’re attaching a stigma to sex. Which is pretty much the worst thing you can do, these people are too ashamed and guilty to seek advice on sexual health issues.

Furthermore after causing teenagers to feel too ashamed and guiltily to seek advice, these abstinence groups don’t teach anything more than abstinence putting these kids in unnecessary risk for STD’s and pregnancy. Everyone should know about safe sex whether they plan to use that information or not.

Case studies have proven teenagers who wear purity rings are just as likely to have premarital sex as teenagers who don’t, but they’re substantially less likely to wear a condom or use any other type of birth control.

These rings just don’t work and all it does is shame and guilt teens into having unsafe sex.

Unless you accompany a purity ring with a chastity belt it’s not going to stop anyone who having sex. So stop pretending it will. Educate teens so they can make informed and smart decisions. And if they decided to have sex they’ll know how to protect themselves and we won’t have to watch show like “teen mom” and “16 and pregnant” anymore.

One of the other things this person ask is if women for aren’t virgins should wear white. Personally I don’t think the whole wedding party should be able to tell the brides sexual history based on her dress. But that’s just me. The person said it’s like wearing a cap and gown at graduation. You should only wear it if you put the work in. I call bullshit. You stay a virgin or “pure” because its god will not so you can wear white. Plus women will do and wear whatever they want, that’s just a fact of life. There is no point caring if it’s right or wrong because she’s going to do it anyways.

The other issue that came up in this conversation was the idea of born again virgins. This may be the most stupid idea ever, even more stupid then the ring. Dear world, once it’s gone, it’s gone.......deal with it. This is why you should be smart and educated before you start having sex so you don’t became some idiot who thinks they can think back their virginity. News Flash Einstein it’s does work like that. That’s like me saying if I wish real hard I’ll become the tooth fairy.

Anyways I'm off to wish I was the tooth fairy and that Elmo was president of the United States. As always stay and play safe guys.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo 

Magic Trick

I have a friend who is a complete sweetheart when it comes to the women he dates. He’s unbelievable. He’ll stay up all night to keep them company when they’re working the nightshift. He’ll run miles on his lunch break just to spend 5 minutes with them. He always puts their happiness above his own and he does all that without the aim of getting them into bed. And before you ask no he is not gay.

He is unbelievable, and that’s the problem. My brain actually doesn’t believe it. I can see it with my own eyes but my brain doesn’t believe what my eyes are telling it. It thinks it’s some sort of magic trick.

It’s crazy. I’ve dated (and I use that term loosely) more men then I’ll ever admit, not to mention almost all my friends are guys. Thanks to all of that I should qualify for my masters in men and despite that fact I’ve never come across anyone like him before and it's fucking with my brains logic centre.

My brain knows men are incapable of putting anything before the needs of their penis. My brain also knows men will do and say almost anything to meet those needs. As I’ve grown up I’ve realised guys like my friend are as real as Santa Clause. They’re something dreamed up by Hollywood directors and mother goose. They are 100% fictional.

I know seeing is meant to be believing, but not in this case. I think experiencing would have to be believing or something like that.

Saying that, a good guy like that would be wasted on me. If a guy were to text me 5 times a day, just to see how I was, I’d file a restraining order. Maybe at this point in my life I’m just too acclimatized to asshole men but someone like my friend would creep me out. I’d go mad in that kind of relationship. I’d always feel like he didn’t trust me and felt he had to check up on me.

The other problem is I love a good fight. I like being able to disagree and debate with my boyfriend. I feel that good guys tend to say “yes dear” a lot and those two words infuriate me. I need to know if I’m being totally unreasonable that my partner would put me back in my place. I may kill him for it, but my point still stands.

I love a good challenge and if my boyfriend was always there when I clicked my fingers, where would the fun be in that? I need someone who can keep me on my toes and guessing. I’d rather that person not be a total asshole but I like my guys to have a little bite.

Play Safe Guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Sorry

I just wanted to say sorry to you guys. I’ve been a bad blogger over the past few weeks. Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be back to normal and back to keeping you guys entertained and laughing.

Because some of you have been asking the problem was the doctor changed my pain medication and I neglected to read the enclosed leaflet. I’ve come to find out anyone taking the pill also needs to take a multivitamin because it blocks certain vitamins. After a couple months of not getting those vitamins I’ve been feeling ill, tired and ran down.

I’m hoping by this weekend I’ll be feeling better and be able to return to my normal posting schedule. Which is one weekday post (Mon-Thurs), and one weekend post (Fri-Sun).

I also do a post every Monday for Logic Haze (http://logichaze.com/type/article/thehonbit) I’m looking at bring back “The Honest Bitch Helps” for that weekly post. It’s a lot of fun for me to write and you guys seem to enjoy it. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, life, or whatever you’d like me to answer is my unique way send them to Ms.HonestB@gmail.com It’s all in fun and maybe it’ll help someone and ….upset a few guys :-)

Also keep your eyes open for my guest post on http://almostlastmanstanding.com/ and he’ll also being doing a guest post for here so that should be worth a read, he's a talented and funny writer. I’d tell you guys to be nice but that’s not your style I know. So I'll just tell you to be honest and have fun with him.

I’m looking look forward to getting back in to the swing of things and back to having some fun with you guys. How I’ve missed your evilness.

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Logic Haze

Hey Dolls, 

Sorry about the lack of a weekend post this week, I just had a nightmare weekend. But my new post for LogicHaze.com has been posted:

http://logichaze.com/posts/article/logic-laws-why-women-fake-it

Please check it out and tell me what you think. 

Love you guys,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxox

Are Women More Emotional Then Men?

I asked this question of my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/TheHonestB) a few weeks ago and after reading all the replies I feel inspired to write a post on the matter.

So are women more emotional then men?

Personally I think women and men are equally as emotional as each other. The difference is which emotions we show.

I’ll be the first to admit women are more likely to cry whether it’s over hurt feelings, pain or just because they’re happy (I’ll never understand that). But I also think women are more likely to hide certain feelings.

Most women won’t show if they’re stressed, angry or annoyed. We just bottle those feelings up. Mainly so we can turn around and use them at a later date but my point still stands we hide those kinds of feelings.

Men on the other hand will normally show if they’re angry, stressed or annoyed. They won’t even attempt to hind those kinds of feelings. Most men will however hind any feelings that may lead to them crying. It’s kind of like they’re the wicked witch and tears will cause them to melt.

So you can’t really say women are more emotional them men because we’re not. We just choose more often than not to show emotions that will ruin our makeup. Unlike men who choose to show emotions that will result in them sleeping on the couch.

No one sex is better than the other when it comes to being emotional. We’re just equally as screwed up as one and other.

Have a great night and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Four Kinds of Girl

Over all my years of being friends with and dating far too many guy I’ve come to work out that in their minds women fall into 4 main categories, needy, pushy, stupid or bitch. And they will always whiny about a girl no matter which of these categories she falls into. Unless you’re in the process of making him cum, a guy will always find something to bitch about. You can never win; you can just shut him up for extended periods of time.

If you enjoy spending time with your boyfriend, sending texts or talking on the phone with him you fall into the “needy” category. You may be the most impendent person on the planet but when he is out with the guys and you text him even if he messages you first you’re needy. This is where things being so black and white in man-land gets them into trouble, Everyone knows there are different levels of neediness but you’d never know that listening to them talk.

If you have ever asked a guy out, approached a guy or told him to stop playing games you fall into the “pushy” category. In my personal experience sometimes you need to be pushy when it comes to guys but no man will ever see it that way. The only good pushy in the male mind is if you’re pushy in the bedroom. It messes with their male ego otherwise.

Now for the “stupid” category, these are the girl's guys date once with the intention of sleeping with them and never calling again. In my books it’s only stupid if you fall for their bullshit. But once again they’d never admit that in man-land.

The last category is bitch. There are 2 main ways to end up in this category. The first way is be opinionated and have your own views on things. I’ll never understand why women like that rub so many men up the wrong way but a lot of men hate it. The other way is to play the game they do. Show no interest, use them just for sex, and make them come to you. Keep that up for any period of time and they’ll soon be calling you a bitch.

Personally I don’t see anything wrong with being a bitch so they call me one all they like. I have a mind of my own and opinions and I don’t follow men around like a lost puppy so if that makes me a bitch, I’ll own it. Hello world I’m bitch, deal with it!

You’ll never please everyone so don’t every change who you are, especially to please a man. Just be who you are and own it. Sooner or later someone will come along who will take you for what you are. Don’t ever lose any sleep over him either because I’m willing to bet he isn’t losing any over you. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

As always my dears stay safe and don’t stress over things you can’t change.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxo

Girls Night Out

On the last Saturday of every month me and a few girlfriends and our gay side kick get together and drink way too much. A lot of the time we just stay in and watch a film, screw around online and bitch. But this month we decided to go to bingo.

I had free tickets because of my birthday so we decided to go and try and get rich and drink cheap booze. I swear the booze is so cheap so you can’t play your cards right.

When we got there the guy that took our cards recognised me. It wasn’t till I looked at his name badge I worked out who he was. His name was Ross he’s someone I went to college with. He was a second year when I was a first.

The second we found a table the talk turned to whether or not I slept with him. I don’t think I did, I’m actually sure I didn’t. Some of them remember him flirting with me at college and bumping into him at town a few times but minus a little texting nothing happened.

He was actually calling the books and I blame him for us not winning. He came up and chatted to me for a while. Turns out he has a kid and asked if I had a family yet. My brain wasn’t a fan of that question. I just turned 24. Call me old fashion but I want a ring on my finger before I even think about having kids. Hell I want the ring before I think about having pets with anyone.

You can say a lot of things about me but I have my head on straight, unlike some of the people I know.

Anyways my dears I have things I need to do. As always stay safe.

Love

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Moonlighters

A moonlighter is someone who only sends messages in moonlight, for whatever reason they only send and reply to messages under the cover of darkness. Moonlighters are not to be confused with “lights out texters” who are generally motivated by their nether regions. Moonlighters aren’t always nether regions driven.

Moonlighters messages can be about anything and yes sometimes they can turn a little spicy but the difference between a moonlighter and a lights out texter is a lights out texter will message whenever horny comes a knocking and a moonlighter will only message when it’s dark out.

It kind of begs the questions why only in the moonlight? There are different theories out there. Some are quite basic like they’re in a relationship or they’re married. Some have suggested they’re murders or crooks. I’ve even hear stories about these people being under a witch’s cure. However my favourite theory is it’s a werewolf type syndrome and the moonlight sends their thumbs into over drive.

I don’t really trust moonlighters, there is just something creepy about them. They popup out of nowhere, send you messages while your asleep and then when you reply in the morning, they’re gone. They’re like living ghosts who leave a text message footprint.

I remember stories from my childhood about things that go bump in the night and they rarely turned out to be friendly; the only difference is instead of going bump moonlighters go beep.

Be careful guys, and stay safe.

The Honest Bitch

Setting The Record Straight

I’ve been asked the same question a lot lately, I have answered most of them individually but since I’ve been asked so many time I thought I’d just set the record straight in a little blog.

You guys always make me laugh and you have been very opinionated on this matter so let me just tell you guys straight, I am not nor do I wish to be fucking Neal.

Let’s start with the main issue and there are a few with your ideas. His penis isn’t 3,000 kilometers long. I’ve never seen it but I assume a penis that size would be in Guinness or something.

The other problem is I don’t date or sleep with guys that are younger then I am. It’s just one of my little quirks. I’m sure there are lots of great guys younger than me but I just find it off putting. They have to be older and they have to be taller that is the law.

I’ve loved reading your opinions and thoughts on this “relationship”. They have made me laugh. My favorite ones are the ones where you call him the devil and tell me Mr. X is my soul mate. I love you guys but you’re crazy.

Please don’t get me wrong, Neal is an amazing guy and I care for him but he isn’t the future Mr. Honest Bitch. For one minute forget about him being young and his penis not spanned the Atlantic but the honest truth is I don’t begin to meet his standards either. We’re both pretty set in stone about what we want. But feel free to keep sending me your ideas and opinions because they never fail to put a smile on my face.

I love you guys,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

PS Stay safe

Choices

Choices, we make then every day sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes with a very funny out comes.

I’ve told you guys about Neal and his YouTube channel before, he posted a new video Monday and my choices lead to something only I would do.

Thanks to the time difference Neal’s videos are almost always posted when I’m asleep. I’ll get a text message telling me he’s posted a new video and it’s become a habit then when I see it, I watch it. It’s become almost a reflex, I don’t even think about it. (Thanks Neal for all those early mornings).

That night I happened to have a guy friend over, we were talking and hanging out. One thing lead to another and we started kissing and things, (Let me just say this isn’t a good thing last time we ended up sleeping together we didn’t talk months and was just messy) just at the second it looked like things were going to go farther, my phone went off. (Anyone who knows me knows my phone is always to hand.) I saw Neal had posted a new video so kind of without thinking with a guy on top of me my hand went for my mouse. I did get asked what I was doing and I replied without thinking “Neal has a new video”. Needless to say at this point he was getting dressed, and 30 seconds later he was out the door...He never did say bye...How rude.

I just sat on my bed watching the rest of Neal’s video. About 10 seconds later it hit me what had just happened and I lost it. I was crying in laughter. I actually fell off the side of my bed laughing. I mean come on who in their right mind would give up sex with a hot guy to watch a friends YouTube video. The video is always going to be there, I swear The Show with Neal brainwashed me.

The funny thing is the guy blames Neal not me. I think he thinks Neal was spying on us via web cam so he knew the precise moment to upload his video. Hey it’s he’s choice to blame Neal, I’m not going to argue :-)

In hindsight I’m thankful for Neal’s poor timing. I don’t want to lose a good friend because of a poor choice. It would have been a stupid mistake and I’m thankful for being brainwashed. P.S That’s my story and I’m sticking to it...... The Show with Neal brainwashed me.

See what I mean about choices? Some are good, some are bad and some just make great stories.

As always stay safe dolls

Love Always

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Happy Valentine’s Day

I’m a single girl on Valentine’s Day and despite what people may think, it’s not the end of the world. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day whether I’m in a relationship or not. I’m not the romantic sort; it makes me uncomfortable so I’m happy to give it a miss. Yet when I’m in a relationship there better be a card in my hand at the least and PS I hate roses.

For you men who are confused by a girl who hates Valentine’s Day wanting a card let me explain it to you. It’s not about the card or the day it’s about you remembering your girlfriend and taking 30 seconds to do something nice for her. I’d also like to inform you men that sending a text message instead of a card is like us poking you on Facebook instead of fucking you. Remember that.

I can’t help but laugh at the online stuff about how to cope with being single on Valentine’s Day. The funniest one has to be “It’s cool to be single, Valentine’s Day singles are trendsetters”. Is it really so bad to be single people have to lie to themselves? It’s no different being single on February 14th then it is any other day of the year, and people who think otherwise have issues with co-dependency.

Being single on Valentine’s Day always makes me smile, because I know there are thousands of couples fighting and breaking up while I enjoy having some me time and a few cocktails. Just think of all the girls faking they like the tacky gifts their boyfriends got them, all the bad restaurants they’re being dragged to, and all the sexual acts they have to preform to show they’re grateful for all that tackiness. Wouldn’t you rather be single?

Valentine’s Day is literally an obsolete holiday anyways. Saint Valentine was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969. Technically there hasn’t been a Valentine’s Day for 42 years. Instead of caring the name on I think we should call it what it is, Hallmark Takes Your Money Day.

Anyways my dears I’m heading off to bed. I hope you all have a great day single or not. As always stay safe.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Are You Chicken?

There is a game I’ve coined called “Sexual Chicken”. This game is played between two flirtatious people either by email, chat or text message. (I guess you could play it in person but it would lose most of the challenge and skill involved). The idea is you send racier and racier messages back and forth until somebody backs down. Just like in normal chicken the first person to back down loses, but unlike normal chicken if nobody back down you don’t die, you make good on those racy messages. This is one game that if you do lose you actually are fucked.

This game is a great way to test the waters to see if sex is on the other persons mind too. It’s also a great way to move things along from the flirting talking stage to something a little more naked. It may take a few games before neither person backs down but it’s a lot of fun along the way.

I highly recommend only playing this game with someone you wouldn’t be heartbroken about sleeping with. I’ve played this game a fair bit but the amount of people I’ve played with is shockingly low, like you don’t need a full hand to count them on low.

You need the right sort of person to play with. There has to be some kind of want there and there also has to be some scariness or uncertainly too. It’s not a game of chicken with you aren’t a little scared and a little uncertain about the outcome.

I feel like the whole dating/flirting thing can be a little too serious at times and this game is a great way to lighten things up a bit. Not to mention, it never fails to put a smile on my face.

Anyways Dolls it’s Friday night and I think it’s time I open a bottle of wine. Have a great night and as always stay safe.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo