What Is The Endgame

I guess, I’m going to make this a weekend full of questions answered. I haven’t planned on answering this one just yet but, I’ve had a moment of clarity or maybe just a good night’s sleep and thought, fuck it. I’ve never been one to hold back, so why start now.

The question is what is the end game with Larry? What is the hope?

I don’t have an endgame with Larry, I think that would be a very dangerous way to look at things in this case. At the end of the day, I still have to have a relationship with this guy no matter what, so I can’t look at this as a one way street with a destination at the end. I’d end up miserable if I did that.  And if ending up miserable was the name of the game; I’d be in bed with the Penis Flasher now. But my happiness comes first so I’m not, that and because batteries are a thing.

As for what I’d like, that’s the harder question. And as frustrating as it is, it’s not one I have an answer for. I want to see what’s there, but I want to do that over time, and with as little pressure as possible. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Sometimes you just have to have faith in that.

I know that sounds like a cop-out, and maybe it is, but I’ll tell you like this. He isn’t what I normally go for. If I came across him online I’d pass; He’s smokes, he has a kid, there are other activities I don’t agree with. On paper, he’s worse than the Penis Flasher. But here’s the thing; after spending 40+ hours a week locked in the office with him I can tell you, he’s a wonderful human. He’s a lot of fun to be around, he’s super caring, he’s funny; He’s just an all-around good guy. And someone I enjoy spending time with.

Would I be heartbroken if there was more there? No. If he tried to kiss me, would I push him away? No. If everything stays exactly how it now, would I be heartbroken? No. I am more than happy to let this one play itself out.

That said, I hope he doesn’t end up with Pippi. Because how things are now, will change. I’ve already been given my orders on that one.

Anyways, I am going to go and get ready, I’m meeting up with some friends to work on a script today, I can’t wait it’s been a long time since we’ve all met up. But before I do, I have this question for you; does the relationship status matter? Let me know your thoughts and opinions in the comment box below. And as always, stay, and play, safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

And Then A Rant Happened

I’m feeling pretty much how I figured I would today; tired, drained, pissed off and a little hungry, which is actually a good thing because minus two pieces of candy at work last night I haven’t eaten in at least 48 hours…. I envy people who can comfort eat. If I even try to eat when I’m upset I get sick.

I guess I picked a good day to be ticked off, I’ve managed to hide it behind being tired most of the night and admittedly a lot of it probably is that I’m over tired and cranky as all hell. But not all of it.

I’m still miffed at Larry for implying I was fishing for information on how he feels. Now, admittedly those words never left his mouth and that’s because I cut him off before he said words he couldn’t take back.

If I wanted to know how he felt, I’m fucking ask. I might do it drunk…. But I’d do it. As it stands this very minute, I don’t care! I believe I know where I stand, whether that matches reality or not is another matter, but I’m ok with my belief.

I’m Irate that someone would think I’m too chicken shit to answer the hard questions, I’ve been doing this nearly 15 years and I’ve built my reputation on being honest and open and saying the things we all think but never say. And to have someone even hint that I’d do anything other than that makes my blood boil.

You can call me ugly, you can say I’m a bad person, you can think I’m crazy…. I don’t care, just don’t mess with my blog. This is my baby, this is my outlet and this is my life.

And apparently a great way to flip my bitch switch…. Sorry about that. However, I feel a million times better. That’s part of the joy of blogging, intense emotion until you hit post and then you’re instantly over it… normally just in time to upset someone reading it.

Anyways, I need sleep and food, but mainly sleep, so I need to go. But before I do, my question for you; what flips your bitch switch? Let me know in the comments below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Awkward

It would appear my “The Story of Larry” post did its job, I actually feel better. My mind doesn’t feel like a shaken snow globe anymore. I almost feel like me again…. Almost. I still feel a little awkward, but that might be for another reason.

I had a “fuck it” moment and gave up my URL to Larry. Actually, what happened was Mr. X messaged me, I took that as a sign and now he’s a one of my readers. That sounds just as bad written out as it does in my head. I’m comforted by the fact Mr. X handled it so well, proving it is at least possible for it not to go up in flames.

Last night was my first time seeing him since everything and to his credit he seemed alright. His body language was a little off, but mine was on the different planet so I can’t talk. I think the worst part is thanks to script writing and acting classes I’m painfully aware it’s off… and I still can’t fix it. Luckily I managed to keep myself busy so at least I could hide a lot of the awkwardness.

Tonight on the other hand is going to be a test; one I don’t like the odds of me passing. I have Larry and Pippi together to deal with. I’ll be honest, the thought of that is keeping me awake. To be fair, it’s more not knowing how I’ll react that’s stressing me. Since I don’t know how I feel, my reaction is surprise to everyone…including me, which is a fucking nightmare. At least I can brace myself if I know I’m likely to react. This, this is a guessing game…… and I don’t like games.

Anyways, I’m going to go and pounder over a comment I received about a theory on why I was clueless regarding my feelings for Larry. I shall report on that one. But before I go I have this question for you; Will Larry reading my blog end badly for me? Let me know in the comments below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

The Story of Larry

I promised in my last post to explain the whole Larry situation and I figured I better do this while I have the clarity of the weekend and before new events add to the craziness already going on inside my head.

Let’s start with who Larry is. He is a 29 year old, father of one, lorry driver come office monkey who works on night with me. He is genuinely a nice guy, with a great sense of humor. He isn’t afraid to make an ass out of himself in the name fun. He is also a shameless gamer geek, who loves North American culture. He’s exactly like the guys I hangout with when I’m at home. He is just an all-round good guy.

I’ve gotten to know both him and the other gentleman on night pretty well over the last month. I’ve managed to spend a couple of nights just sitting with them learning the ropes. Fortunately, we’ve all gelled quickly and have been able to have a lot of fun swapping stories and sarcastic jabs.

The only problem I have with Larry is, over a very short period of time, he’s learned to read me like a damn book. The Supervisor was the same with me and I hate it because I can’t seem to get away with anything. And the worst part is, he seems to know when I’m not being completely honest with what’s bugging me. That’s not good, especially when I don’t know what’s up or what’s up is him.

You see, the other day at work he was the problem, or at least part of the problem and you can bet your sweet ass I was going to admit that, and he wasn’t buying what I was telling him. But, I was only not telling him the whole truth because how do you tell someone your mind is melting down mode because you think you may like them?

And I use the word think, because even now, I’m not completely sure, I mean everything was fine and normal of minute and the next crazy land. I don’t know when or how or why this happened and it’s completely thrown me for a loop or 12.

I’ll be very honest here; I’m struggling to verbalize what happened, largely because I don’t want to admit it and partly because I handled it poorly, and in a very non me way, and I’m kind of ashamed of that. But I know if I don’t write this, it’ll haunt me and I’ll never move past it, and things will be forever weird so here it goes.

There is this female driver at work, I’ll call her Pippi. Larry has a bit of a crush on her. A couple nights ago when she finished her shift, she hung around chatting. We were having a laugh, a joke and then it started to appear that she might have a thing for Larry as well. Which, in theory, is fine. He’s a good a guy he deserves someone special… In theory, in reality she was stood telling about her friends who she introduced to this guy she liked and now her friend and this guy live together and all I was thinking was “you fucking bitch, and now you’re going that to me.” Which was weird because I don’t know why I'd be thinking like that so I just kept a smile and tried not to let it phase me… hell what’s one crazy thought in a female brain right.

At some point I had to go and get on with some work, so she moved over and started chatting with Larry, making it, at least to me, clear she’s interested in him and that didn’t sit well with me. That said, I’m protective of all my guy friends so I didn’t read a whole lot into that. I stayed quiet and got on with some work.

Then I had to interact with him, and instead of the normal playful, sarcastic exchanged, I got mean, and I think I even physically pushed him away at one point. Which is unacceptable and not like me at. I can only think of one reason why I would have acted that way…. Jealously, and one would assume if jealously an issue is, there’s a reason why.

I was a little bit confused by own reaction, and in an act of damage limitation and to honor girl code, I completely backed off, I spent the rest of the night at my desk, I just kept myself to myself. Apparently I backed off too much though, because Larry questioned what was wrong with me, I gave a reason but he wasn’t really buying it. But, I’ll give him his dues he still did make a point of trying to cheer me up.

The drive home that night sucked, I had to fight to keep it together; I actually felt physically sick. And when I finally got home, I lost it. I’m not sure why; whether it was the confusion, or the feeling that I lost or never had a chance. I mean there is no competition between Pippi and me, she wins every time.

The following night at work was awkward to say the least; I just didn’t know what to do with myself. The reason I had been hiding behind wasn’t there so I had to keep it together a pretend everything was fine, which is easier said than done when your brain is still trying to make sense of the previous day’s events. I thought I was doing ok…. Until the other guy I work with on nights asked me if I was ok and, for the real reason I was upset the night before. I just stuck to my story and I think bought it or at least decided not to push it.

Now it’s the weekend and I have to sort of this mess so I can go into work Monday and be normal. And not react to what may happen and by that I mean, him banging her because in the grand scheme of things, I loose and I have to be ok with that… and if I’m not, I have to fake it.

Anyways, this blog is way longer than I planned and it didn’t help nearly as much as I would have hoped, but it does give you guys some background for the next time I break down and completely snap because something tells me that will happen, it’s only a matter of time.

I am going to go and get some sleep and pray that when I see Pippi and Larry together Tuesday, I managed to at the very least, keep my damn mouth shut as to not make things worse than they already are. I mean, at the end of the day I have to still work with him. But, before I go, I must leave you with a question because that is the law here. How do you deal with rejection? Let me know in the comment box below. And as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

What We Want

I went out for lunch today with my darling gay husband, and we decided to have a drink with lunch and one drink turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into me getting home at 2am.

While we were out, we got talking about what we really want in a partner. Me being chronically single and him going through men like tissues, it was an interesting subject.

The gay husband very clearly has a type; he goes for cocky boarding on asshole type men, whom are brutally honest, but have the ability to turn on the charm and make him laugh on cue. The interesting thing was when I asked what he really wants in a partner he said; a kind, respectable man, with a killer sense of humour. I found that a little strange given what he has been dating.

I don’t really have a type, the only thing my exes have in common is they all made me laugh, hell some of them are still making me laugh, be it more in a “what the hell was I thinking” sort of way but my point stands.

When I was asked what I want, it didn’t take me long to reply, I want a sweet, playful guy, who can make me laugh. The gay husband, however, was quick to point out that I may think I want a sweet guy but I don’t. Given the fact romance makes me horribly uncomfortable, a sweet guy would be wasted on me. I on the other hand, I believe romance and sweetness are two different things and I think there is a line of sweetness I’d be more than comfortable with. Just call me the Goldilocks of sweetness.

So between the gay husbands and my wish list, I’m left wondering, do we really know what we want in a partner and if so, why don’t we date it? I think I’m going to leave that question with you, and ask you this one as well; do you date what you want in a partner? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Feeling Single

I’ve been single for just over a month now and until recently I hadn’t really noticed. I know that sounds crazy, but given mine and Barney’s relationship it’s understandable. I didn’t see the man very often and towards the end of our relationship, our conversations weren’t very boyfriend/girlfriend like. Breaking up wasn’t any great loss…hell it wasn’t even a moderate loss.

That said, the other day for the first time in a very long time I truly felt single. What was the catalyst for this feeling you ask? 

This

<---------

       Well, in actual fact, this.  

                      ----------------->

Leave it to Ikea to make a girl feel all alone. I’m not an overly girly girl and going into the whole flat pack thing I felt confident. Then I opened the box and quickly realised why women get married.

Now don’t get me wrong this girl is no quitter and I did get it built, it may have taken 12 hours but I got it done. But even afterwards that all alone feeling lingered. There was nobody there to share in my flat pack triumph.

It was weird, I’m not someone to worry about my relationship status. I couldn’t care less whether I’m single or in a relationship. As long as I’m happy within myself anything else is a bonus.  

The way I see it is I spend all day around men and if I’m going to put up with one without being paid he better be something special. I get my fill of jerks and fuck-wits at work. Admittedly, I do get some sweethearts and real gems at work too, but for the most part…..I spend 90% of my night wondering how on earth most of these men are married and whether their women are being held captive King Kong style.

I really should be thankful that some of them are so repulsive, it was the thing that managed to pull me out of my “being single” funk. It’s hard to long after something when you’re wondering if soap and water are just a little too complicated for their species.

I have to admit there are a few men there that make being in a relationship seem tempting. I work with some absolutely lovely guys that would do anything for me and that often prove that not all men are bad. However, all that loveliness is quickly balanced out by a grown men having a temper-tantrums……the joys of the transport industry, eh?

Anyways, my dears, I am off to that lovely place I call bed to dream about doing very unladylike things to my Supervisor….what? Just because I’m content being single doesn’t mean this girl doesn’t have needs. Anyways, before I go I shall leave you with this question; what snaps you out of your “being single sucks” moods? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxo

Birthday Weirdos

I’m going through one of those phases where everything that is hitting me on me…..shouldn’t be. It’s gotten
to the point where I’m starting to wonder if it’s not them, it’s me. Am I giving off some form of loser homing signal I’m not aware of?

Forgetting the strange Mr X incident, in the past week I’ve been hit on by not one, but two married truck drivers, a guy I used to flirt with many moons ago, an ex and today joining the pack of weirdos CM has made a reappearance.

What the fuck?

It’s always flattering to get hit on but when the quality of guy is as low as it has been you start to wonder if it’s more of an insult than a compliment.

CM’s reappearance was unexpected if you remember that far back, CM was in a 3 year relationship with someone else when we had our fling. Then I decided he had too many deal breakers and had to break things off. He informed me today, he has finally broken up with his girlfriend. That’s all well and good for him, but it doesn’t change anything, yes, he has one less deal breaker now but he still has far too many to overlook.

Plus, I’m spoken for… sort of. There are no titles with Barney and I yet so theoretically I’m single but I’m not about to play that game. Although I wish he'd realize I’m a woman in high demand (even if it’s by weirdos) and make a make a little more time for me.

The guy is trying and I see that and I appreciate it but its slow going and I turn 27 today; I’m not getting any younger. I’m not about to cry that my biological clock is ticking but I do want to settle down one day and I don’t want to look back and regret wasting my time on someone who couldn’t even spare a minute of his weekend to send me one lousy text message.

That’s my life right now, getting old and being unloved, or at least being unloved by anyone worth being loved by….. I hate my birthdays. They always seem to be the most depressing day of the year. Maybe because I’m always single for my birthday and I’m so far away from home, I just can’t help but feel alone or maybe it’s because getting old just sucks I don’t know. Maybe that’s the question of the blog; do you like your birthday? Why or why not? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Facebook Post

After two days of not hearing from the man I’m meant to be in some form of a relationship with I posted this image to my Facebook wall as a gentle hint. On day 3 while I was at work I spotted a Facebook notification on my phone. When I looked at it, I couldn’t control my mouth from yelling “You cock” a little stunned, my supervisor asked what was up. I explained that I hadn’t heard from Barney in 3 days and the fucker just liked my post. No call, no email, no text just liked the fucking post. Needless to say I wasn’t in the slightest bit impressed. My supervisor on the other hand couldn’t stop laughing and repeatedly called him “fucking legendary”. My supervisor is an idiot.

I didn’t hear from Barney all day 4, day 5 I messaged him saying good morning, asking how his weekend was, being a Monday he messaged me back. It didn’t take him long to ask about the post. Apparently he felt it was a cheap shot because he feels guilty enough that he doesn’t have the time to message me or hang out as much as he’d like.

Forgetting the fact he clearly had the time to be on Facebook and like the post which doesn’t take any longer then typing and sending “good night”, how am I am the bad guy in this? It’s not like the good night thing is news to him, we’ve had this conversation… a lot. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise at this point. 

We managed to talk it out and he understands where I was coming from but the whole thing has left a bit of a nasty taste in my mouth. But I will leave the question with you, was I in the wrong? Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Unavailable Men

So it’s been nearly 2 months since I last posted and the good night text message battle rages on. Lucky for him I’m pretty laid back because I’m pretty sure any other woman at this point would have kicked his ass. Hell, if this was any other guy I’m pretty sure I would have kicked his ass by now. But for whatever reason he seems to have a weird effect on me.

I may not be winning the good night battle, but we are talking a lot more throughout the day so it's making the good night battle seem less important, but he still isn’t messaging at all during the weekends and that's grating on me a little. It’s my birthday Saturday and I’m willing to bet I don’t hear from him at all. But if I want to see what’s there I guess that’s something I’m just going to have to deal with.

In other news Mr. X messaged me yesterday….yeah, I didn’t see that coming. It appears he’s been reading my blog and a few questions and a statement for me. His opener was “surely I don’t have a hold over you now?” Nothing like a simple opener eh? He followed that gem up with “I do regret that we never saw things through, you know? I wasn't fair on you with that and I apologise”. I hate to admit this but I shed a tear when I read that. Don’t get wrong, I’ve gotten over all this and have moved on but looking back at it all….it still hurts.

Mr. X and I have a strange relationship, there is a reason things went on as long as they did, we have spark and not just sexually.  We’re able to be very straight spoken and honest with each other even now so when he says “if I was ever alone with you again, I'd jump you” it’s not in itself shocking but its definitely unexpected coming from a now married man.  

Speaking of married men that evening I also got a message from one of my old drivers asking me out…..small problem he’s married. Larger problem for him I’m not interested.

I already have my own unavailable guy (admittedly at least these ones text, but still) and if I wanted one that wasn’t single well, I’d finish what I started with my supervisor…..who I may or may not have made cum on our boss’s desk, but that’s a blog for another day and also pre-Barney so no angry emails please.

I guess that brings me to the question of the blog; what makes married men hit on single ladies? And when was the last time one hit on you? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxo

The Downgrade Effect

I’m going to start this by saying outright I am a bad person. So keep my open admission in mind while you’re reading the rest of this post lol.

Recently I gave into temptation and internet stalked the girl who put an end to a “relationship” I was in. Like I said I’m a bad person but it gets worse. Once her picture popped up something interesting happened....

I felt instantly better.

I was staring at a girl who looked like she was plucked from the cast of “Little Women”.  I’m trying to be nice here but the woman was the definition of homely. And to be honest it made me smile (once again I know I’m a bad person). It’s one thing when your friends tell you you’re better looking than your exes new girlfriend but it’s quite another when you can sit there yourself and honestly know you are better looking.

It’s an amazing feeling; one so awesome that it takes away all those hurt and angry feeling you have bottled up. It’s that wonderful feeling of knowing his new girlfriend isn’t even on par with you. I call it “The Downgrade Effect”. As bad as this sounds; it’s a very similar feeling to that warm and fuzzy feeling you get from doing charity work. (Once again I’m aware I’m a bad person)

This could have so easily gone the other way, there was a 50/50 chance that she could have been smoking hot and if that were the case I’d be suffering from the “Upgrade Effect” right now. Which normally involves crying and a large bottle of tequila, but luckily for me that wasn’t the case. *Even while typing this I can’t help but smirk* (Bad person, I know)

So what upgrade or downgrade experiences do you have? Let me know in the comment box below and as always my dears, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Guys around the Globe

Buy Here

I’m currently reading “Guys around the Globe” by Chloe G. Wilde, I’m about half way through and so far I love it. As the title would lead you to believe it’s about her experiences with men around the world, some of which are frankly hilarious. It’s a very entertaining read and makes me feel a whole lot better knowing I’m not the only one who ends up in these weird situations. The book is definitely worth a read, I’ll include a link so you can check it out.

My only problem with the book is it pokes a massive hole in my theory that English guys are my problem. She’s having some of the same problems I’m having and her guys are from Germany, France, Italy, Africa and everywhere in-between (That’s sounds bad but you know what I mean).  

I’ve always said my issue with people on this side of the ocean is they don’t get me, guys in particularly. We’re just two different beasts that shouldn't mix and that’s why there was a giant ocean separating us in the first place.

I figured the answer to all my dating BS and nightmares was to find a Canadian guy. But now I’m not so sure. Maybe guys everywhere are assholes and my low bullshit tolerance is the problem.

What do you guys think, are guys everywhere the same or is there a difference? Let me know in the comment box below and as always, stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Backup Plan

“If we’re both single by the time we’re 40 we’ll get married.” 

We’ve all made these pacts, the age varies but fundamentally they’re the same. If you are both single at your predetermined pathetic age, screw the idea of true love, you have a backup plan.

We’ve all made these pacts, and they’re normally done with two types of people.

Type 1: Someone you have a spark with but for whatever reason a relationship just didn’t/couldn’t happen.

Or

Type 2: A friend who you love dearly, but could never imagine doing anything sexual with in a million years.

My pact was with a “type 2” guy I’m going to call Alex. We had a deal that if we got to 40 and were both single we’d marry each other. Alex was the perfect backup plan guy. Not overly good looking (but not ugly), not great with the ladies but a total sweetheart. As bad as it sounds I kind of thought he’d be single forever. Boy was I wrong. Alex got married almost 5 years ago. So much for my backup plan eh?

Thursday night I received a message from one of my ghosts, I’m going to call this one Logan. Logan and I go way back, B.S back (Before Sex). We never actually dated but we did sleep together.... a lot. I guess you could call him my first fuck friend.

Anyways back to the message; one of the first things Logan said to me was “I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, do you remember our deal?” I don’t remember what I had for dinner last night, so how does anyone expect me to remember a deal I made years ago. To give me a hint he then said “when we turn 30?” At which point a drunken flash back hit me. Oh that deal. Apparently my backup had a backup.

First of all, since when do men actually listen? I don’t even remember that conversation, so how the hell does he. I mean I always thought cleavage power overrides the male memory.

And second of all, Logan now has the record for being the scariest ghost ever. Most ghosts pop up for sex, this........well this is new.

As for why I don’t remember the deal, well Logan is a “type 1” and I think he may have banged the memory out of my head. That happens, right?

Now don’t worry I’m not about to marry anyone let own Logan. I would like to think I’ve come a long way since my banging Logan days. And I’m not about to regress that far.

However the thought hunts me. I mean, what if he by some screwed up act of a vengeful god was the one? I would have wasted the past 10 years of my life. 10 years! That’s like my worst nightmare ever.

Does anyone actually marry their back up plan? Do people do that? I have to ask, do you have a back-up plan? And if so if it came down to it would you marry them? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Bad Boy Bear

In Mr. X’s Q&A blog he impelled he was a “bad boy”. Bad boy my ass, there is nothing farther from the truth. He has no piercing, no tattoos, he’s never done drugs, he doesn’t smoke and in his 30 odd years on this planet the man has never touched a drop of alcohol. The dude could be a freaking Mouseketeer. 

However like most Disney starlets Mr. X has a problem....he’s attitude. I guess it’s better than the normal Disney starlet problems, I mean it could be worse; he could be pulling a Lohan.

Saying that Mr. X doesn’t have the average person’s mood swings I actually call them “bear moments”. Which spices of bear you get depends on the day.

Sometimes you get a Black Bear; where your best defence is to talk calmly and slowly walk away.

Sometimes you get a Koala Bear;  he appears to be cute and cuddly but you should always be careful of the sharp teeth and claws.

Other days he’s like a Panda Bear; there's an, eat, shoots and leaves joke to be made there but we all know I’m far too classy for that. (Stop laughing J)

Sometimes he’s a Grizzly Bear; if he gets within 25 feet, you should spray him with pepper spray for your own personal safety.

Sometime he’s a Polar Bear Cub; really cute to look at but you really shouldn’t touch him.

Sometime he’s a full grown Polar Bear; known to stalk and kill humans just because he’s hungry.

Other days he’s a Brown Bear; well known for his aggressive behaviour, indifferent to humans and likely to kill you for his own personal enjoyment. Your best bet is to play dead and be thankful he’s not going to eat you. (There's a joke there but I’m not touching it with 39 and a half foot pole (bonus points if you can name that song))

Anyways I’m going to end this ridiculous post and head to bed (I’m over tired, can you tell?), so which bear moment do you think I’m going to get when he reads this, let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

'Tis the Season to Laugh at Couples

Some people get very sad and lonely around the holidays; I’m not one of them. I love being single and anyone who has taken a look at my dating history can fully understand why. But besides dating a whole lot of guy I’d really like to run over with a bus the other reason I love being single especially at the holidays is couples are ridiculous this time of years.

First you have the present stress, you never want to spend less or put less thought into your partner’s gift then they put into yours. This makes people go crazy and I find it hilarious. There are a few couples in my circle of friends; they’re going crazy over this. I happen to have gone Christmas shopping with one of the guys and his girlfriend is dying to find out what he got her. Since I’m a bad person every time she asks me I tell her it could be a coal or it could be a diamond or maybe it’s a pony. I find it hilarious to screw with her....she on the other hand, does not.

Then you have the stupid holiday photos. You either wear ugly sweaters or stupid hats or both and stand in front of tree and smile like you’re not wearing stupid clothing. You couples can enjoy that, I’m going to sit here in my non stupid clothing and laugh at your ridiculous photos that will live forever on the Internet.

Then you have the joy of going to your partners work’s Christmas party. I don’t know about you but I never want to go to my own works Christmas party let alone my boyfriends. So if you ask me, that is reason enough to stay single at the holidays.

The other thing that makes couples ridiculous at the holidays is all the fighting. Christmas a booze heavy time of year and with all that booze comes all those booze fuelled fights. And because I’m a little bit twisted I find it highly amusing. “Your penis is small”, “You’re a whore” “You can go fuck, that fucking thing.”.....”I’m sorry, I love you.” Who needs to TV when you can watch drunken couples, I can’t help but laugh.

I have to ask, what is the upside to being in a relationship this holiday season because to be honest I think of any and if you’re single like me, what do you enjoy about being single during the holiday season? Let me know in the comment box below and as always stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo

Butterflies

Most women want what they can’t have, so when I found out a few months ago Mr. X was in a relationship, my friends were worried the grip he had on me would tighten.

I’m not most women.

The thing that made Mr. X so alluring was that he was something attainable I couldn’t attain. The best way I can describe is it was like we were in the same book, on same chapter, on same page but different paragraphs; so close you could almost touch but never quite close enough.

The whole thing played off the fact I am the world’s most stubborn person. Yes, there was a sexually spark there too which didn’t help but the main issue was my stubbornness. There were days were I looked at him and if he were any other guy, I wouldn’t have given him a second look, drunk in a bar at closing time. It was purely my stubbornness that kept me interested. 

Admittedly there were other days were I wanted to rip his clothes off and do unspeakable things to him but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

So when I found out he was in a relationship besides being shocked that he was capable of human emotion, I was actually relieved.

He went from something attainable I just couldn’t attain, to something unattainable that I couldn’t attain so there was no point in trying. I was oddly at peace with everything.

I’m still oddly at peace and my friends think I’ve lost my mind. They don’t understand how I can still speak with this man who once drove me crazy and had all this power over me and now he’s just like all my other guy friends, nothing special.

I put it like this, when he went for attainable to unattainable the book closed, when the book closed it killed all the butterflies that were inside it and without the butterflies....you have nothing.

Does any of that make sense at all? Or are my friend right to think I’ve lost my mind? Let me know what you think in the comment box below. And as always my dears stay and play safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch 

xoxoxo