Predictable Pig

In my last blog I was telling you about the predictable response to one of my Facebook statuses and there being more to the story, so here it is.

After sending me a bunch of Facebook messages he asked if he could text me. I said ok. He's known me for years and already had my number so it's not like I could stop him if I wanted to. Plus I wanted to see if I could get him to admit he had a girlfriend.

So he started sending me text messages. They started off harmless enough asking about how I was and talking about hockey, then it turned a little flirty. I didn't have a problem with a little harmless flirting.

Then it took a turn crossing that line of things you can't say or text when you're in a relationship. He was aiming for sexting and I wasn't playing that game. I have dealt with my fair share of crazy girlfriends, and I'm not looking to add another one to that list.

He eventually moved back to the harmless side of the line and we said good night and that was that… or so I thought.

For the next few days he would send me messages like “good morning, have a good day :-) x” and “Good morning sexy xx”. This struck me as strange...really strange.

I've dealt with more than my fair share of slimy guys and normally they cover their asses and don't leave a text trail for their girlfriend to find. Side note: beware of guys, who don't have any messages on their phones, they're normally trouble.

This left me wondering if he and his girlfriend broke up or if something happened because that's just not normal behaviour. Plus, part of me really didn't want to believe he was a jerk. He's the first fellow hockey fan I met here, and he comes off as such a sweet guy.

So I went into detective mode and searched his Facebook wall for answers. I didn't find any recent messages from the girlfriend however her display picture was a picture of both of them together but it crossed my mind that she may not have changed it yet, so I continued looking.  Then I saw a message with a name that jumped out at me, it wasn't his girlfriend's name but it was the same surname.

It turned out to be the girlfriend’s mother, and she was joking with him the morning after he messaged me. I can’t be sure but I don't think you'd joke with your daughter's ex-boyfriend on a public Facebook wall if they had just broken up.

So it has left me to conclude that apparently nice guy or not, he is a creep and depending on your definition of cheating, a cheater too.

I guess that only leaves two questions, is sexting classifed as cheating? And does it take two to sext?

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Predictable Pigs

I was checking my Facebook the other night when I came across the above image. It kind of me laugh so I thought I'd share the humour. I didn't really think about it and went back to chatting.

When I looked back a few minutes later only guys has commented on it and they were all doing the same thing, trying to guess my bra size. My boobs are flattered but I was a little miffed. I have no problems with my boobs being a topic of conversation but I do have an issue with the fact none of the guys were single.

If I were their girlfriends I wouldn't be pleased. It just not an appropriate conversation. It's one thing if their girlfriends were in on the conversation but to randomly start guessing a female bra size, that's not cool.

After I commented trying to blow their comments off as “boys will be boys” they continue to try and guess. I knew what was coming next. I was so sure I even made a comment to my friend Jon that I was waiting for the inevitable inbox message.

And right on schedule there was an inbox message from one of the guys. It was a really sweet message but at the end of the day he has a girlfriend and he shouldn't be hitting on me. Not only does he have a girlfriend but said girlfriend is listed on his Facebook page. I'm not sure why but that makes it worse in my books.

It's just so slimy and not just slimy, predictably slimy.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, it actually has many health benefits but there is a line you need to watch when you're not single. When someone goes to the effort of moving a chat from somewhere public (e.g. Facebook wall) to somewhere private (e.g. inbox) you know his intentions aren't pure.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is how predictable it was. Would it kill someone to be original? Honesty would help too but that's as likely as Pinocchio's penis being longer than his nose. So I'll just settle for original.

Anyways my dears, that's all for now, although there is more to come. As always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Dating Horror Story

I was looking back at some of the reasons I decided to take a break from dating and I just randomly started laughing at something that was so horrific at the time but is kind of funny now. I thought you guys might get a kick out of the story.

It was about 3 years ago I think. I meet a guy online and we started chatting. After a few months of chatting and texting we decided to meet up. We got along great and went out 5 or 6 more time. Nothing more than just a good night kiss ever happened between us. Which I thought was odd but didn’t read much into it.

About 3 days after our last date, I was sat on my bed checking my Facebook and I noticed this guy updated his relationship status. As you do when a guy you’re dating updates his relationship status I checked it out.

It had him as “in a relationship” with some dude so I figured it was guys fucking around and didn’t think anymore of it.

....until about 5 minutes later when I saw he uploaded some pictures.

These picture were of this guy full on making out with the guy he changed to “in a relationship” with.

I was in shock. I just sat there on my bed not moving, with my mouth wide open. I don’t even remember blinking. I just sat there like a statue for a good 5 – 10 minutes. When I finally did move, I didn’t break eye contract with the screen. I just moved my right hand to pick up my phone and dialled my best friend at the time.

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It went something like this.

Me- “hmmmmm, hi.......do you remember that guy I was seeing?”

K – “Yeah, what’s wrong”

Me “hmmm, hmmm"

K –“You’re not pregnant are you?”

Me – “God no”

K – “Then?”

Me – “Facebook”

K- “I need more”

Me- “He changed his status”

K - “To?”

Me - “Fucking some dude”

K – “What!?”

Me - “He’s in a relationship with a guy”

K – “He’s joking”

Me – “No, no, no, there are pictures”

K – “Pictures?”

Me – “Yeah..... Crystal clear, colour photos”

K – “Oh”

Me - “Yeah”

K – “I’ll be right over”

When she got here I was still sat glaring at my netbook. She closed it and looked at me. And we both started to laugh because what else can you do. She then asked to see the pictures, which lead to the most horrified look on her face I've ever seen, It was so funny, my sides hurt thinking about it. That girl is far too innocent.

We then went out the pub for a drink and then......I don’t really remember much. Oh, I lie, I do remember getting a beer for free because we told the bartender I turned a guy gay.

I never did confront the guy because I don’t think the words for conversation exist. That’s why Hallmark doesn’t make greeting card for it. So once I was over the shock, I just laughed it off. I figure when they make the movie of my life that scene would keep people talking and make me more money.

Sometimes in life you just got to laugh....even if it’s because you turned a guy gay. How many people can say that eh? Lol

Stay safe guys,

Love you,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

The Law Is The Law

There has been something making its rounds on Facebook…again and instead of ranting on one friend’s status I thought I’d just rant here instead to a wider less argumentative audience.

“TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit my home. Don't complain about my pets. (1) They live here, you don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'nitur e. (3) Chances are, I love my pets more than I like you. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family who are hairy, walk on all fours & don't talk back. Re-post if you love your pets!”

Speaking as a non-pet owner, all the above it’s perfectly fine. There is no problem with furry furniture or you loving you animal more than me because odds are I’m not your biggest fan either. The problem comes when your stupid fucking pets jump on and lick me and you just stand there doing nothing looking like it’s the cutest thing in the world.

It’s not cute. It’s gross and really unhygienic.

It’s not that I hate pets. I grow up having dogs and cats. But mine were well trained and knew who the boss was.

If people want to pretend their pets are human, that’s perfectly fine by me. However if that’s the case I was to see those furry little bastards in a pair of teeny tiny paw-cuffs.

If a human were to act in the same manor, jumping on and licking me, without hesitation I’d have that person arrested. It’s a criminal act and I’d expect the perpetrator to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the offender happens to be four legged and have a cold nose so be it. I want to see the little bastard behind bars and in a bright orange jumpsuit. No means no and not speaking English is no excuse for breaking the law.

If you want to pretend your pet in human, that’s fine. I’ll play along but I want to see that them follow the same laws as any other human. After all fair is fair :-)

Stay safe guys, Love,

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Keep Off

This may sound weird coming from someone who blogs about every detail of her life but I’m going to say it anyways......... Keep your shit off Facebook!

There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t write your personal business on Facebook, I can’t even think of a good reason to do it, so stop!

First of all you’re making things worse. The second you post your problem with someone else on Facebook you’ve gone from it being between you and the person, to it being the business of everyone on your friends list. It may as well have been on the evening news; it’s in their news feed after all.

So now you have people, possibly perfect strangers add fuel to the flame. Everyone has their 2 cents on the matter. Everyone has advice to give and opinions. And don’t forget the other person is reading this, watching you spread gossip and bad mouthing them so instead of calming down they’re getting angrier.

Because they’re getting angrier they post a status too, so now you have their friends getting involved. Your joint friends end up taking sides. This upsets you both more. Sooner or later you start commenting on each other’s statuses. And the whole thing goes from something small to the worlds ending.

Not sounding like such a good idea now is it?

Might I add just because some of your friends aren’t commenting doesn’t mean they’re not reading what’s going on. And I’m willing to bet most of them are probably thinking you sound like a whiny small child.

Then you have the problem when you two make up that you’re left looking like an idiot to everyone on Facebook. You can’t get around that fact, once it’s all said and done, you’re left with 100’s of Facebook friends who read what was happening, and now think you’re an idiot.

So if you don’t want to be labelled a whiney idiot think before you write a status and take my advice is to keep your shit off Facebook.

I love you guys, and as always stay safe.

Love,

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxoxo

Not Such A Happy Easter

I’m just going to try and keep this short because if it gets too long I change my view point and none of what I said makes any sense. Trust me this is draft number 7.

I tweeted a picture of my rather soggy tear stained pillows and you guys want to know what happened so I’ll do my best to share the details with you.

I posted a blog at the start of the month about my friends being shitty friends and apparently it read like I was only picking on one person. I didn’t mean it to sound that way and most you didn’t read it that way but someone did and shit hit the fan.

I handled things poorly. I went into manager mode and just deflexed his statements because I didn’t want to make myself look bad and because of that we decided it would be best if our dealings ended there.

Personally I will really miss him but I respect him and sometimes good bye is just best for both parties. I’m sure I’ll shed many more tears but I’ll learn from it and become stronger.

Looking at the bright-side I only have to deal with tonight and Monday. Tuesday I will be highly medicated and luck if I remember my own name. Actually I think I still have some tranquillisers left ......Can you mix them with tequila?

Anyways my dears thank you for listening. I’ll include that pillow picture in case you didn’t see it on twitter. Have a good night, I’m off to drown my sorrows and hopefully wake up to this all being a bad dreams. (Does that ever work)?

Love You All

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxo

Turnabout Is Fair Play?

I was planning to write a blog about being fucked off with people not being there for me when I go out of my way to be there for them. I was going to write about me quitting being a friend, and invoke the playgroup law of turnabout is fair play.

Oddly enough I was reading some of my old blogs and I was reminded of something Neal inspired me to write about seeing the good in things. Despite the fact I’m not happy with him right now I’ll give credit where credit is due and he’s a smart guy, and that’s a great lookout to have.

This has left me thinking that maybe quitting being a friend isn’t the right way to handle things. As much as I want to tell people to fuck off, people being a crappy friend isn’t an excuse for me to be a bad friend as well. I should just take the high road. Karma will get them for me.

I would have been within my rights to declare “turnabout’s fair play” and be a complete bitch to everyone but why should I sink to their level? I’m going to take the high road and just play nice then when karma kicks their ass, I’ll take satisfaction in that. There is nothing like revenge without getting hands dirty.

I just want thank my readers for being better friends then most of my real ones, you guys are amazing. I have to head off so as always, stay safe.

Love

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxo

Social Networking Stalker

When did it get to the point where I can’t even update my Facebook status because then certain people will know I’m online? I feel like I’m living in the Facebook protection programme. I have to sneak around the site without leaving my finger prints or the social networking stalkers will get me.

I truly believe when you fall victim to a social media stalker, you should be able to handle it the same way you would a real world stalker. You should be able to log on to the Facebook courthouse and file for a restraining order. If said person violates the restraining order then you go to social media jail. Twitter already has their “jail” so is it really a far stretch to build a jail for all social networking sites?

I just want to be able to log into my Facebook and not have to deal with messages from guys who just want to get they’re leg over. Is that really too much to ask?

Anyways dolls, I’m heading off. I have bugger loads to do. Stay safe guys.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

People Person

I’ve worked a lot of customer facing roles over the years and sadly I’m rather good at them. I say sadly because as everyone who’s ever been at their job knows when your good you end up working more. You’re talked into more hours, you’re the first one called when someone is sick, you’re always being called upon to trouble shoot and most annoyingly you’re made to train new staff members. I may be good at what I do but there is a small problem...I’m not a people person.

When I worked customer service roles I use to think of it as a part in play. That’s why I was so good at my job; I don’t have a gift for dealing with people, I’m just a fantastic actress.

I can’t stand 99% of people. The list of reasons why I can’t stand some people is pretty much never ending. It could be something as small as a voice that goes through me or as big as fucking their way through all of my friends. I have more reasons to hate someone then I do to like them. I’m sorry if that sounds a little bitchy but that’s just me.

A larger percent of people are complete idiots and seeing as I have a low bullshit tolerance I was doomed from the start. I can’t tell you have many times someone’s been talking to me and it’s taken all my will power not to strangle them. My advice to the world is, if you don’t know what you’re talking about shut the fuck up or someone with less will power then me will hurt you.

For those people I actually do like, they should feel honoured. I don’t like many people. Hell there is large amount of my friends I don’t like. The big testament to that is my Facebook friends list, it's 700+, however the amount of people who can see me online to chat is 5 (soon to be 4, someone have truly fucked me off). Like I said....I’m not a people person.

I’m just not someone that needs to be around people to be happy. I’m an only child so I’m very use to my own company and for me to want someone else around they have to be something special and most people aren't.

Anyways my dolls I’m heading off for the night. As always stay safe.

Love always

The Honest Bitch
xoxoxo

Happy Valentine’s Day

I’m a single girl on Valentine’s Day and despite what people may think, it’s not the end of the world. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day whether I’m in a relationship or not. I’m not the romantic sort; it makes me uncomfortable so I’m happy to give it a miss. Yet when I’m in a relationship there better be a card in my hand at the least and PS I hate roses.

For you men who are confused by a girl who hates Valentine’s Day wanting a card let me explain it to you. It’s not about the card or the day it’s about you remembering your girlfriend and taking 30 seconds to do something nice for her. I’d also like to inform you men that sending a text message instead of a card is like us poking you on Facebook instead of fucking you. Remember that.

I can’t help but laugh at the online stuff about how to cope with being single on Valentine’s Day. The funniest one has to be “It’s cool to be single, Valentine’s Day singles are trendsetters”. Is it really so bad to be single people have to lie to themselves? It’s no different being single on February 14th then it is any other day of the year, and people who think otherwise have issues with co-dependency.

Being single on Valentine’s Day always makes me smile, because I know there are thousands of couples fighting and breaking up while I enjoy having some me time and a few cocktails. Just think of all the girls faking they like the tacky gifts their boyfriends got them, all the bad restaurants they’re being dragged to, and all the sexual acts they have to preform to show they’re grateful for all that tackiness. Wouldn’t you rather be single?

Valentine’s Day is literally an obsolete holiday anyways. Saint Valentine was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969. Technically there hasn’t been a Valentine’s Day for 42 years. Instead of caring the name on I think we should call it what it is, Hallmark Takes Your Money Day.

Anyways my dears I’m heading off to bed. I hope you all have a great day single or not. As always stay safe.

Love Always

The Honest Bitch
xoxo

Contact The Honest Bitch

I had someone on twitter ask if I had any other connect information. I have posted it on twitter before but that was about 500 followers ago. So I thought I'd post it on here.

Twitter
http://twitter.com/TheHonestBitch

Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Honest-Bitch/117526898310132

Email
ms.honestb@gmail.com

Love you guys

The Honest Bitch

xoxoxoxoxoxo

False Hope

Hey Guys,

“No man is worth your tears, but the one that is, won't make you cry”
That is my favourite quote. It’s a load of bullshit but it just one of those lies you have to tell yourself to get though the day.

Nobody being worth your tear is very true. No one should have the right to make you feel bad about yourself. The lie in this quote is that the man that you should cry over won’t make you cry. Did the creator of that quote ever meet a guy? Guy’s are always going to make girls cry. We are just wired differently.
Can you imagine if every time a guy made a girl cry they broke up? The whole world would be single. I don’t think there is any couple on the earth that can say their other half hasn’t made them cry.

False Hope. False hope is something that all chick flicks have built in to them. It’s that thought that everything can be just like a fairy tale and you can live happily ever after. I think false hope is something that all women have to lie to themselves about. If we didn’t we’d never date again. Most of us know that there is no knight on a white horse but the quest to find him is the only reason that male species is still around. If women didn’t think “The One” was out there we would have killed off all men by now.

Can’t you feel the negativity in the air? Never let it be said I’m bitter, I’m just someone that has learned one too many lessons the hard way.

Before I go there are a few other things I wanted to update you on.

First of all, my mother’s operation on Tuesday went very well. They don’t think it’s cancerous, so that’s a load off my mind. Parents really know how to stress you out don’t they?

Secondly I’ve started a Facebook page, just search for “The Honest Bitch”. I’m not really sure how it’s going fit into the stuff I already do but right now I’m using it to chat with you, ask my questions of the day and just float ideas on.

Have a wonderful Saturday night and I’ll speak to you soon.

Love

The Honest Bitch

xxxx